Basically what the title says.
If you don’t mind the story (scroll down for tl;dr): I’ve been with this guy for quite some time, and while our relationships had some ups and downs, now that things are over, as we all know, it’s the ups that replay in my mind.
To make this quick, he’s someone who’s been cheated on in the past, since that will add context to the situation.
Everything had been going great between us, but I started my period. I’m usually on the pill so I skip periods often. It took an emotional toll on me and we argued often, so we took a tiny break until my period was over. During the break I obviously missed him, and corona didn’t help much with having something to do. I watch a movie with a guy friend, not thinking much of it, and here’s where I fuck up.
Once break ends, he asks me what I did. I said I talked to some guy, nothing more. I lied, panic reflex. I came out with the truth right after, admitted everything, and he was upset, naturally so.
He blocks me everywhere. 30 minutes later, he unblocks me and calls me. I explain, I cry, I apologize. He asks why I did what I did, I said because I wanted something to do and didn’t want to bother him. It was the truth. He told me that it’s fine if I’m being clingy. He wants me to need him, and so on. I tell him I do, that he means everything to me, you can imagine what I said. I told him that I would never do this again, and I’ll make it up to him, however long it takes to rebuild the trust. Eventually things calm down, we’re good once again, and things are bliss for the next while.
One day, someone I knew bad talked him and I told him that evening, because I thought it was the right thing to do. He was upset. Says he’ll call me back, never does.
Later I call, I ask him what the hell is going on, he tells me he just doesn’t feel good in this relationship. He wants it over with. I ask what exactly, he says he doesn’t know, it’s probably related to what I did. I’m confused, and of course, like an idiot I do everything wrong. I cry, beg a bit, and so on. We calm down. It happens later again that evening, and I realize I don’t want to put my dignity on the line anymore. He tells me he doesn’t appreciate me, doesn’t feel the same way, I should go and find someone who does.
I tell him I tried my best, I did what I could, but I can’t do anything else. He’s angry, saying that I promised to let him have time to rebuild the trust. I tell him I did, and I meant it, however if this isn’t what he wants, there’s nothing I can do.
And that was it. I’m blocked everywhere. I have no method of contacting him.
tl;dr - ex boyfriend and I had constant arguments after I broke his trust, even though I tried to repair it the best I could. He said he didn’t appreciate me, said to go find someone else who does, and was very upset at me when I finally accepted the breakup.
Does no contact even make a difference? I’m blocked on everything. This wasn’t in the book and I have no idea what to do. If anyone can offer some insight on the situation, I’d be extremely grateful.