@Patricia12
I was with a woman for about half a year. It’s been 40+ days since last contact. I want to send this letter:
I understand why the breakup happened and it was for the best. Honestly, a part of me hopes we can be back together. But I am okay with whatever happens.
After my 1st ever seizure in Feb, I was placed on Xanax to prevent more. I took it as instructed but had severe allergies, it made me depersonalize, black out.
Despite the med acting like an elephant tranquilizer, I was desperate to not seize again and stayed on the med until a new appt in late April.
That was a poor decision, I am sorry. I created fights from nothing, I was mean and frustrating to deal with.
After new doctors/ meds, I am in a good place right now. I hope we can speak soon & I’ll always wish you the best.
@skatedeck The letter you want to send sounds okay.
Xanax is usually prescribed for anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Sudden withdrawal of the drug could result in seizures, that’s why the dose is slowly reduced. Before your seizure, were you taking Xanax for depression or anxiety? Do you still take it? As you probably know, the drug has many side effects/adverse effects and many of them are severe.
Good luck and stay safe…
@Patricia12
I have never taken Xanax and only took it for about 2 weeks before switching. Before feb, I’ve also never had a seizure in my life. I know my reaction to the med is abnormal.
Is it unreasonable for me to think that my ex could understand? Since the change in behavior was so sudden and not like how I was before, I’m hoping we can have a dialogue.
Can you help me this point below? I want to emphasize that I’m not excusing my behavior. I was confrontational, I was mean, these things I did and they were wrong.
But not having memory of this, I don’t know to phrase this all this without making it sound like I’m minimalizing the behavior that led to this break up
@Patricia12
This is my new response, maybe it answers my own question above.
After my 1st ever seizure in Feb, I was placed on Xanax. I’ve never taken it and only took it as directed. It had huge side effects on my mood and memory loss.
I always tell you that we are a team, it’s us against the world. But during this time, I wasn’t thinking properly because my memory was so affected. I assumed hurtful things, I was irritable at a silience in a conversation we had about why others marry.
I am sorry. I’m not blaming the med. It was a poor decision to not tell you about the seizure. Together, we’d have figured out this med was not for me.
After new doctors/ meds, I am in a good place right now. I hope we can speak soon & I’ll always wish you the best.
@skatedeck Did the doctor figure out why you had a seizure?? What medications are you taking now??
When did you start dating her and was it a good relationship?? When did you start behaving badly??
Do not say “I always tell you that we are a team, it’s us against the world”. And do not say “Together, we’d have figured out this med was not for me”.
If she didn’t know about the seizure, tell her you had one and that Xanax was prescribed which might have contributed to your bad behaviors. And if you’re on new medications and your moods/temperament have improved, tell her. “I’m in a good place right now” is vague…
But keep the apology short and simple.
@Patricia12
After my 1st ever seizure in Feb, I was placed on Xanax. I’ve never taken it before and only took it as directed. It had huge side effects on my mood and memory loss.
It felt like surgical anesthesia, I was confused, and not myself. I recently switched meds and only now realize how badly I was affected.
I assumed hurtful things; I was irritable at a silence in a conversation we had about why others marry.
I am sorry. I’m not blaming the med. It was insecure to not share this, but I was afraid of worrying you.
I regularly see a neurologist now and have not had a seizure or mood issues since. Hope we can speak soon, I’ll always wish you the best.
@skatedeck Sounds okay…
When someone is in a relationship, everything is shared and discussed!
@Patricia12
I keep wanting to add a sentence that talks more about how a medication could change my behavior so much. I feel like my letter is missing this.
@Patricia12
How about I add this 1 sentenced to the ending, I’m trying for this to be a no pressure situation:
I understand that my poor decisions have led to this breakup. And that my situation is a lot to handle.
I am sorry. I’m not blaming the med. It was insecure to not share this, but I was afraid of worrying you.
I regularly see a neurologist now and have not had a seizure or mood issues since. Hope we can speak soon, I’ll always wish you the best.
@skatedeck The letter you posted here on May 8th is good enough!
Adding “I understand that my poor decisions have led to this breakup. And that my situation is a lot to handle”. It’s not necessary to write this because you already explained you were irritable and confused in the May 8th letter. She knows why she wanted to break up with you and of course she knows the situation was a lot to handle…
@Patricia12
An update. Sadly, my ex got back with a previous ex of hers. She sent me a text tonight over an old app. The letter is bound to arrive at her house tomorrow. She hasn’t even read my situation and most likely will throw away my letter on sight.
I feel okay
@skatedeck Sorry to hear it. I’m sure you’re disappointed, but I’m glad you’re feeling okay. Over time you’ll feel better and better. Let us know if she replies to the letter.
@Patricia12
She was waiting to hear from me. But i took too long and that cemented her belief that my bad behavior was me and not a side effect of a med. I blame myself. I needed so much advice on how to explain my situation that she thought i didn’t care
@Patricia12
She was with her ex for 4 years. Me and her were together for less than 1 year. While together, she seemed very over her ex and was always honest if that ex reached out. She decided to block his number after the 1st month of our dating.
Either I’m the rebound or he’s the rebound.
I do forgive her and I understand that she might jump back to her ex because of quaratine and a firm belief that the behavior she saw was uncceptable. I too would have broken up with me if I wasn’t informed about the underlying medical issue.
@skatedeck You wrote on May 5:“I was with a woman for about half a year. It’s been 40+ days since last contact. I want to send this letter”. Then yesterday May 26 you wrote:“The letter is bound to arrive at her house tomorrow.” So 40 days plus 3 weeks after that when you finally sent the letter is 2 months.
I don’t think it would have made a difference if you had sent the letter earlier, but why did you wait so long to send it? I think you were the rebound because she was with him 4 years… And she was with you only about 6 months. She might have wanted it to work out with you, but your bad unacceptable behavior ruined it.
None of it really matters now. You need to move on the best you can, but you have the ability to make your next relationship better.
Good luck.