2 weeks ago my relationship ended with my girlfriend. She ended it. We were together for 5 years (I’m 24).
The problems started 7 months ago.
I started working for an employer 32 hours a week. Besides that I invested my time in my own business. I was working 65+ hours a week. Literally every hour I had, I spent on work. We only saw eachother in the weekend for like 4 - 7 hours. I told her it was for just a short period of time (6 months) and she said she understanded it.
In the same time she wanted to live on herself. So she searched for a house and got it after a few months.
We talked about living together a few times over Whatsapp, but I refused/didn’t take it seriously. I never thought about it seriously. I live with my parents and have no costs, it’s easy. This way I can save me some money. She understood that.
Alltogether I neglected everything.
- My friends: never saw them anymore.
- My parents: I never had a good/normal conversation with them anymore.
- My girlfriend: not gave her the attention she deserves.
- Myself: I’am unhappy with the way i live my life. I want more free time but I don’t give it myself.
My life went this way because I had such a strong mission: setting up my own business.
Now, in the end, I don’t think it’s worth it.
She was showing signs that she didn’t get enough attention. But all the communication we had was over WhatsApp. And when we did see together we never had deep conversation. This made it very hard for me to take it serious, I can be very rude on Whatsapp.
2 weeks ago she was in doubt/didn’t want to make the decision. But in the end she broke the relationship. We didn’t had a very good conversation before the breakup, so I asked if she wanted to talk 1 more time indepth about all the problems. She said she is willing to do that but more for my interest. She is holding back because she said that she could get the feeling to work on it again if we both see that there is a solution. But she is tired of working on the relationship.
A few days after the break up I went over to her home and did everything for her: cleaning the house, cooking, etc. Tasks I never did. And last saturday we spend a night together at a firework show. But just as ‘friends’, we still do have fun together but she acts detached.
She can hold her pokerface so well to everybody (Normaly I’m the strong man in the relationship).
Especialy on Whatsapp. So 2 days ago I told her I want rest and don’t want to talk to her anymore so I can get my sh*t together. Since then we only have changed a few sentences about some practical things. This Thursday she is dropping of my stuff and I give her stuff back, including the keys of her house.
A week after the break up she asked me if I wanted to join her birthday the 26th. So thats in 14 days. But I’m now having my no-contact-rule.
I’m still very in love with her. And I now finaly see what I did wrong, I’ve never seen that. I want to do everything to get her back. I know that I have to change first.
I asked her if I just work 40 hours a week and live together and spent more time with her, if that would be enough to sustain the relationship. She said just, but she doesn’t see it happening. She has no faith and dont want to wait for change anymore. She is tired and want to rest. Which I can understand. She still loves me she said.
But what are the right things I need to do? This uncertainty is killing me. Should I go to her birthday? Have a final conversation? Send her a letter? Just no contact and work on myself?