I ended it - he isn’t ready for a relationship

I ended things with my boyfriend over the past week as he was strangely acting distant after initially us having a wonderful relationship. This relationship lasted 5 months. I ended it by text saying I was confused what was going on and I clearly not what he was looking for and I was to step away. He later sent me a message confessing he was to get married last year but his fiancé jilted him (possibly cheated). I never knew about this story as this was the first time I heard about it. He said he thought he was ready for a relationship but his fear was holding him back. Now he wasn’t sure he was ready for a relationship and if it was any other time he wouldn’t have a reason not to be with me as he finds me amazing, funny and attractive. We both agreed not to cut contact as we had so much in common and got on. I saw his best friend in town and spoke to him. He had no idea I never knew about the engagement ending and thought I knew from the start. He said he would talk to him.

Just before New Year I sent him a message wishing him happy new year and said I want to stay in contact and one day have a round of golf together. He then messaged back saying he wants to stay in touch and happy new year but he wasn’t doing much for new year. I was stupid and messaged back saying I was here if he wanted to meet up for new year. No reply. I feel stupid now. I should have left it.

Basically I never wanted to end the relationship but he was confusing me by holding back. This was the only way he opened up to me about his past. We were such a good fit together and I want him back. I know this is not easy as he is emotionally broken from his past relationship. He showed all the signs of being caring, thoughtful and affectionate when we were together.

I have stopped contacting him and he hasn’t contacted me. He hasn’t blocked me. I don’t know what no contact will achieve wether this will make him miss me or not. I want to reach out and send him a funny message but I don’t know what to do.

@Ella_553 You did the right thing by ending it. He won’t be ready to start a serious relationship with anyone for quit a while as he was actually engaged prior to meeting you. No contact might give him a chance to work through his grief of losing her.

He hasn’t contacted you, but when was your last contact to him?? He might start missing you, but remember, the first few months would have been the initial “romantic” stage when 2 people don’t know each other well and are looking at each other through rose colored glasses (so to speak).

Continue no contact for at least another month or more…

PS: Don’t get his friend involved! It’s like talking behind his back. This is between you and your ex and nobody else.

We last contacted each other on 30th December where I wished him a good NYE and said it would be nice to keep in touch and one day 8n the future have a game of golf. He messaged back saying he wanted to stay in touch too and that sounded like a nice idea.
It’s so frustrating as we never had a chance to actually talk about it, phone call or face to face. I just hate all this message thing as I feel you can never get your point across or communicate clearly with each other.

@ella_553 You extended an invitation and he didn’t take you up on it or even ask to reschedule! Saying he’s not sure he’s ready for a relationship is the same as saying he’s not ready for a relationship! Stop chasing him. Stop making suggestions. Continue with no contact! If he wants to stay in touch, he will be the one initiating contact. Give him time and space to possibly miss you… Hopefully he’ll call you or ask you out at some point and then you’ll get a chance to talk. Don’t force it!

I’m sorry this happened to you, but when a man is seriously interested, he will be the one pursing…

Be patient.