Back story: my ex and I were together for almost two years. We had broken up for about two weeks a year before that. Mostly because of my controlling issues and trying to push his family away. I promised to not be controlling any more and we got back together. Fast forward, we moved in with my dad and lived together for six months before he broke up with me out of the blue: it was the day after we had started the process of signing a lease for a house. It was a shock for me, but he said he felt the same was as last time we broke up and he was unhappy. I begged at the beginning but immediately began no contact. The breakup was very civil. He just said we both need this breakup now for anything else to happen. He still has some things at my house that he hasn’t reached out to ask for. He even said “maybe in 3-4 months, whatever happens happens” when I asked him if we ever had a chance to get back together.
During no contact, I realize how my anger towards my own family and the abuse I received during childhood has affected the way I think and act, especially in relationships. I have taken this time to really work on myself and started going to therapy and working on my relationship with my family. It has allowed me to be more vulnerable and open to communication.
I am still able to contact my ex and I have contacted him twice since the no contact period ending, with positive responses. In all honestly I want to just meet up with him and tell him my growth and progress in my mindset. Deep down, I feel like he will understand and be willing to give me another chance. But I also feel like on and off relationships are toxic. I think I have made so much progress and won’t repeat the same mistakes.