So me and my ex have dated for about a year amd a half. We did EVERYTHING together when we first got together we had sex on the first day. We ended up talkimg for about 2 months as boyfriend girlfriend but she didnt wanna make it official right away like me. We only lived about 3 minutes aoart so we saw each other 24/7 we ended up staying at each other’s houses at night and sleeping together and takimg showers together EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!. We would have sex just about once everyday. We always hung out together and would go shopping or get food or go to Six Flags together and everything!! She was 100% devoted and loyal to me always wanted my love and time only and i gave it to her. I would ask her to go with me to my 6 hour college classes at night to just sit in my truck in the parking lot so i could at least talk to her on the drive to school, an hour during my lunch, and to spend time with her again on the way home only to go to bed and shower together as usual. She would legit sit in my car with her tablet of movies and a blanket and either sleep or watch movies in my truck while i sat in class all night!! I never had doubt in my mind in the slightest about her not being 100% there for me or to EVER be disloyal. She’s the kind of girl that would let me borrow her brand new car all day if something happened to my truck while she would just use her grandmas van to get to work. Well… back in February of 2019 i cheated on her in the place we were JUST about to move into together. And i kept it a secret. Well i ended up gettimg chlamydia and was having the usual symptoms and i told my ex about it. I thought maybe it was a uti or something. Well she was kinda scared so she went and got tested and then that’s when she knew that i cheated on her. She was devastated!!! We both cried and i apologized and we still stayed together. We talked about it every now and then thru the day and we still slept and showered together and all of that and even went out to a nice restaurantfor dinner. We didnt have sex for about the first week and i understood that. Then everythimg seemed a little better after finding out about 2 weeks ago she just snapped one morning and told me how she cant sleep and she cant stop thinking about how i fucked this other girl in the place we were about to move into. I just took her to Arizona for xmas to meet the rest of my family. So we decided we should stay at our own places and she should be single right now and have her space, but she still wanted to keep me around as a friend and have me in her life. So we would hang out everyday anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours and just hang out and watch tv and stuff. She would let me rub her back and stuff and caress her head and everything but then she said it made her sad about a few days later so i acted more of a friend and stopped trying to be romantic. We still texted each other but she wouldn’t reply to me as much so i would start textimg 3 texts just to get one reply. She said if i was gonna see you everyday then i shoube talking to you all day too. So we STILL continued to hamg out like when she got off work amd we would hug each other hello amd goodbye when we left for the day and we would tell each other we love you. At first saying that to her i could see she would get a little emotional when i said it. But we would still hamg out and watch Netflix and she would caress my leg or my head if i got into a weird sad mood when she was here. I started getting crazy. I started asking her about all her sad social media posts asking what she meant and then I’d play mind games and basically make posts for like, “im bored someone entertain me” and girls would start commenting and stuff. I only did it to see if she would get jelous because then i feel like that means she still cares, but didnt realize this is the stuff that makes her angry. We tried no contact but one of use always ends up texting and wishimg the other person that they hope you have a good day and that i love you. We end up usually having a semi decent length talk. Well when i made that Facebook post a buddy found out she made a tinder account and showed me!! I mildly freaked out and asked her why would you keep me on the sidelines if you have a tinder and it started a big arguement. I cried and apologized after the first 5 minutes of freaking out and convinced her to come over as we had planned that day when she got off of work. So she came and i was completely numb and showed bo sad emotions at all. I just acted as a friend who didnt cared anymore. Well she saw that and she had this sad look on her face and she’d sit in the chair and I’d sit on the couch and i could see her staring at me and when i looked i asked, “what?” And she motioned for me to go sit right next to her. I did and she let me rub her leg a little bit and we sat on the couch at my place(the one where i cheated) and she started to cry because she said seeing me hurt like this bawlimg my eyes out to her in the last few weeks and stuff made her sad and she didnt wanna hurt me. She said she was still in love with me but wasnt ready to take me back or if she ever could right now, but maybe in the future she said. Well i got crazy the next morning and i didnt have her on twitter or Instagram but i had her on Facebook. I screenshotted stuff off of her twitter because she was making a post about me being a cheater and she flipped out and got pissed that im making all these social medias to lurk. I even made a Tinder so i could find her profile and she found mine and liked it!!! Told me she could never swipe left on me. She had a basic profile with a little bio but it didnt sound like she was looking for a new man. Well after the fight this mornimg about me lurking she updated her Tinder bio talkimg about how she needs a new gym partner to help with these booty gains and stuff and i thought maybe she did that because she was mad and knew i would see it. She would get mad that i have snapchat amd never used it but now all of a sudden i always use it to post pictures amd i told her i only do that because i like that it informs me that you looked at my picture and that makes me happy. She usually just works and hangs out with her girl bestfriends to not think about me soo much. As i am writinf this she just messaged me after all day and said she hopes i had a good day. Idk what to do i feel like she still wants me but needs her own space to heal. I think her biggest issue is just trusting me and i may just have to stay friends and hang out like one until she gets more comfortable. But i mean i cheated on her and gave her an std and she still wants me in her life and wants to see me and she still is IN love with me. I just idk what to do if i knew she would just stay single and let time heal us i would be fine, but i see all the pluses in my favor to help boost my mood and then i fall back to the tinder and stuff. Will she take me back? Do i just need to slow down and be calm? I decided not to use social media for awhile since that seems to have made everything worse
" I would ask her to go with me to my 6 hour college classes at night to just sit in my truck in the parking lot…" WOW, this seems like abuse and it’s ridiculous! What sort of guy would ask a woman to do this?
Cheating is a major reason for breakups and it would be difficult to forgive. Sounds like you two aren’t a good match and she deserves better. But it seems if she would go along with sitting around in a vehicle waiting for you for hours and hours, she might take you back. So yeah, slow down and be calm.
Well i just asked her if she said no that was fine but i really just enjoyed spending all my free time with her and she loved that and was willing to. She got off of work last night and told me her tire was low and i said I’ll check it out and fill it. This was yesterday the same day that HUGE fight happened. Well she came over and told her she had a small leak. An easy $10 fix. She asked if i was working tomorrow and i said yes but i get off around 2 or 3 pm. She broke down crying saying she had a tough day and walked over to me while bawling her eyes out and wanted to give me a hug which i gladly accepted. She gave me a looong firm hug and told me, "well i dont work tomorrow so you’ll most likely see me, but im gonna go to the movies with Vanessa(best friend/coworker) but i wont be gone all day. So she just made plans for US on her own!!! And we were talkjng about things like if we do get back together and this and that so the fact that we talked about a possible future put me at ease. I know i messed up and this has changed me completely i realize now that i never want to lose her. She’s my whole world
Okay, good luck to both of you.