@dee.dasneves Sounds like he’s just being courteous and friendly. He’s also probably hoping you will give him sex when work slows down. It’s been months since the breakup and he does not seem interested in reconciliation.
OMG! He asked for another favor. You don’t actually need the item that he offered, do you… His Whatsapp visits are excessive. You’re still obsessing about him and chatting on Whatsapp for hours every day is excessive too!
Did you ever deliver the bag of stuff to the security guard?
Happy Birthday and hope you’re having a nice day:)
Yes I definitely don’t NEED the item he offers, that’s also why I declined, I think it was actually more of a joke from his side anyways… doubt he would be expecting me to drive to his work and deliver a coffee in the middle of the day. (Or maybe a test to see how invested or ‘hardcore’ I still am?)
And no I haven’t dropped his ecig off, my device is coming on Monday, I did tell him about it and said I would just leave it with the guard, he then said he would rather get it from me when he has time, he doesn’t want any ‘favors’ from the guard, which I agreed.
Just now he texted me to ask how has the day been, I told him it was great, I then asked if I am seeing him soon (I know I know!!!) which he responded ‘not sure, but will try make plans soon.’
I initially wanted to ask if the idea of us spending time together bothers him or makes him uncomfortable cause he clearly pulled away both times after we tried to make plans for him to come over, if that’s where he wants to draw the line for now, but I didn’t end up sending(Should I tho???). I just said okay cool, guess we will make plans when we both not too busy.
@dee.dasneves He said he doesn’t want any ‘favors’ from the guard, which I agreed. OMG! That sounds so ridiculous. Again, why don’t you just mail it to his place?
Of course spending time with you doesn’t bother him because he’s expecting sex!
Draw what line?? I suggested you tell him absolutely no sex, but I guess you didn’t.
I don’t know what else I can say to help you except wish you luck for the outcome you want/need…
lol first of all I wanna say I hope you d be proud of me for what I am about to tell you!
So he texted yesterday said ‘hanging out with you is always nice, but I am just worried about what it may develop into’
I responded well, if you are suggesting a friend with benifits, you know my view on it, I worth more than just a piece of meat and I hope one day you will realize that. I think we shouldn’t be talking any more. (Literally the bravest thing I have done in so long I can’t explain how hard it is to finally let go)
He then read the message and never said anything.
Today I deleted all our old photos from my phone. I think I am finally ready to move on! This is clearly toxic and he can never give me what I want. If I hang on to it I will probably just prolong this and get my heart broken 3 months down the line when I found myself fall in love with him once again. It will just be a lose lose situation.
I do feel incredibly sad cause knowing him, he would at least respect my wishes and leave me alone for the rest of our lifes. This is really the end of a huge part of my life for the past 2 years and 8 months. I loved this man with everything I could give, I have tried my very best to held us together. There s no regret from my side other than I didn’t have enough courage to leave the first time I saw red flags.
And ps, thank you for being so patient with me, I know I ve been acting all over the show and not really taking your advices although I asked for them again and again? but talking to you really helped a lot!
@dee.dasneves I’m very proud of you!! The text you sent shows that you’ve taken back your self-respect and let him know that you will no longer accept a friend with benefits situation. And deleting the photos will help you minimize/prevent obsessive thoughts because I’m sure when you looked at them you were sad & remembered better times. But you have to look at the whole relationship, not just the good parts… There was too much turmoil with 3 breakups and he’s not interested in reconciliation.
For future reference: Whenever you start dating a new man, pay attention to how he treats you and others. Let him do the pursuing for the first few months. Then if he asks you to be in a relationship and you agree, don’t ever push him for reassurances about his feelings. And remember manipulative tricks and doing favors are not the way to gain love. A man will either love you for your good qualities, personality, how well you get along or he won’t. The length of a relationship will mainly depend on whether you’re both happy together.
I’m wishing/praying for a good and happy life ahead:)
I have realized it’s much easier said than done, I still hit panic attacks and get incredibly sad when I think we will never talk again and soon in the future we will delete and block each other once the timing is appropriate ? I am just pretty much waiting for his profile picture gone cause I guess I don’t have that much courage to delete him first after all.
And coincidentally, an old fling of mine all of the sudden started texting and coming up strong from about two days ago just went I decided to let go of my ex, we have made plans to meet up tonight he said he would come cook at mine!
Loooool so I guess we will see where that leads us!
Hey patricia! I know this post has been dragged for long lol, but I thought posting some updates Of my journey would help people that may be reading this in the future too…
So here it goes. People always say exs come back once you ve let go. Since the 14th of June when he basically ignored me(that’s when I decided to really let go instead of strategically doing no contact and wait for him to come back) until today the 4th of July, he has texted me 5 times, tried to call 3 times, left 2 voice messages, apologized, threatened (to never talk to me again) and basically begged for me to let him know that I am okay. This all happened in the past week and a half, 2 weeks after I deleted his number (and dropped his ecig off at the gate), 3 weeks after I went into radio silent.
The first two times was really really hard for me to ignore him, but I know the small talk wasn’t going anywhere. I stood my ground and ignored him completely. Two days ago was the last time he reached out. Said he s very worried about me cause for almost 3 years, I ve never ignored him, and he just wanted to know that I am not sick, then he would leave me alone. I replied yes thank you I am doing well.
I still love him a whole lot, and really hoping one day this could somehow work between us. Just not now. Not anytime soon, not when he s fully ready to commit.
So for anyone that may be reading this, listen to patricia, I wish I had 3 months ago? stick to indefinite no contact and just live your life. God has plans for everyone ?