I don’t get it… Why did he said he loves me, he wouldnt give up on me and then broke up with me, tell me he would like to get back but I see nothing from his part? Only him liking other girls pictures, and not mine! Why do I feel like I love him with my whole heart, I have given him time, I have given him my support everytime I knew he wasnt ok, I have shown him I love him… I feel this can’t be over. How?! How can it be over if I love him this much and want to give him the world?! All I need is one chance to show him I can treat him so well he wont even believe he is on earth, like he did with me. I have never been in this situation before. I really truly love him and want a future together. That can’t fail
We will be together saturday but I am afraid he will say he doesn’t think he wants to get back ever anymore. He told me a month ago he would like but isnt ready. Its been 3 months now since the breakup. And we were only together for 5. I’m afraid too much time has passed
This is my thread btw. All advice very very welcomed. I am not getting much lately here on the boards, and its hard to clear and organize my mind…
Hey Kaila, I am also not getting much of a response, it sucks hey we all come here for the support of being heartbroken lol. I am in a somewhat similar position where I gave my world to my ex boyfriend. I loved him so much but other stressors in my life bubbled into our relationship caused by me. One thing you still have going for you is your ex is still in contact with you somewhat and you are meeting up this weekend. Have you noticed any push pull behaviour ? It sort of seems like it with him saying he’d like to be with you (push) but isn’t ready (pull). They say men need more time to recover from a breakup and I don’t mean that in necessarily a bad way but he could be trying to recover from the negativity (if there was any) surrounding your relationship.
Its very tricky to realise if they are just contacting us cause they pity us or miss our affection or truly want us back. I have no idea.
He didn’t contact me. I did no contact for 3 weeks. Knew he wasnt feeling good, called. He thanked me and talked a bit. I said I was gonna be around his faculty at the time his classes end if he wanted to meet and talk about his problems. He said he was going home after, but later ended up texting asking if I was around. We met, I said soemthing kind of jokingly about he saying we would go for a ride a few weeks ago and then not saying anything after. So he scheduled it with me right then and there. I don’t know how of pitty or what… during those 3 weeks there was no contact from him.
The only thing is he was in a really long relationship before me. No I dont think im a rebound at all. But that makes me accept better this 3 months might be needed for him. And yes there was negativity caused by me. Insecurities and such. A month ago he told me he was afraid to get back and that he still remembered the bad a lot.
It does seem we have some things in common you and me. What are we to do
nattycatty me, you and KD seem to be the ones who made the mistakes as I have read in another of your posts. I too feel like he was basically the only good thing in my life although I was so used to be single and I loved it… now reality hit me as I am getting into a phase in my life where I need to move forward with it and turn into a real adult for once. And now I feel like crap. But have been like this for the most of the past 6 years or more. If you want to talk my kik is kailak19
Yeah I’m currently doing no contact and a little devastated he has not contacted me even though it hasn’t even been a week I still thought he might care more. We did share over a year and a half together lol.
And yeah whilst you are probably not a rebound there may have been similarities in your relationship and his previous relationship that he realised he really needs to recover from and take the time to do that. If you’re meeting up this weekend plan something spontaneous like ice skating or something that will be funny. I did that with my ex last time right as we were getting back together (this is our second breakup :() but we had such a great time laughing together cause I was a retard haha.
I used to love being single too. But now I realised I love this man and I truly want to be with him. Two weeks before we broke up we had booked flights to hawaii . I don’t really know what kik is, I’m from Australia lol how does it work.
It’s an app you just create an account and then add me. I am saying this cause if you feel as bad with your life as I do maybe we can help each other
Hawaii. One of my dream places. Are you going still? You should go with a family member or friend Yeah. I only stopped being single because he was the only guy that was worth it. And few months later, boom. I honestly wouldnt mind if he was the one for me. We talked about future, the house we would like to have, where… kids. names! lol
Oh ok lol I’ve never really heard of it here in australia but I’ll check it out :). I know I was so excited for Hawaii with the love of my life and so was he (he’s never really travelled so I was introducing him to the world together). I would like to still go but I’m not thinking about it right now, it hurts too much to think about cause I could not have been more excited for it with him.
And exactly its so confusing how they can talk about all this stuff with us and then just be like oh I don’t love you anymore even though i pretty much planned a future with you. I don’t know if that just means they’re scared and they’re trying to protect themselves right now given other stressors in their life or they truly feel like that. I’m hoping its that they’re scared and they need us to get back to being the happy positive people we were when we first met the loves of our lives.
Lets hope so my dear! And of course I know you do… It doesnt mean you wont get to go with him Lets hope you do. Me and him talked lightly we didnt really plan. But still… It was amazing to me when one of his best friends said he would like to see how a baby between us would come out. I felt so well! Like one of his best friends likes me enough to say such thing! And right after my guy seemed so receptive! He smiled and said what he would like to name his son. I said only as a second name. And he smiled and said well, we are negotiating! was so sweet I felt really good. We both value family a lot. In different ways. I come from a broken family, from not having much support. He isnt the same as me but he does value family a lot and feels he had no support nor good environment either. I think we would be great with that honestly. humpf…
Lol I would kill to go on this holiday with my ex but as my partner and not just a friend or an ex. But if we aren’t together he won’t do it because it will be too painful. Last year when we broke up we had this trip planned for a little weekend away and he was going to go on it with me even though we were broken up but he cancelled it because it was too hard at the time.
At least you had his friends supporting your relationship at that time and that is very positive as that can impact their thoughts especially as they talk to their friends about the breakup and their feelings so positive impressions on friends are very good. Sadly for me I never got to do that, my exes best friend hated me so much and was always like bro you gotta leave her and so on. Another of his friends with this breakup was pretty supportive of me and our relationship together but it didn’t appear to make a difference did it :(.
I also have similar issues with family so at least we know what we want when it comes time to starting a family
Definitly! I will never not be there for them, not make them excited about studying! I want them to grow up with an open mind, with a love and respect for all beings, with a thirst for knowledge, open to people I want to focus on educating my kids the best I can. Not just give a roof and food. No one ever cared about my studies. Not one person in my family encourages me to go to college. Here I am doing it on my own. And nobody knows Its life! My kids will have so much more from me
Yeah, I meant as bf and gf you might still go!
About friends, it’s 50/50! Some really liked me a lot. Others I am not so sure. I made him feel really bad once and I know he told that to one or two friends and they wont support us FOR SURE. But the girlfriend of that friend, is great friends with me now. We got close real quick! None of his friends liked his ex, including her! For 3 years they never had each others phone number! We had each other after a month of us dating! ahah We used to hang out the 4 of us a lot. It was perfect! We were just the perfect couple group
I’m in a similar push/pull scenario with my Ex, difference is that I’m a guy… I ran into her the other night at a bar with her cousin, we saw each other and I told her that I was going to leave… She kept talking to me, we kept it light… I told her that I had some mail in my car of hers… She walked with me to my car, we hugged and held hands on the way back to her car… Previously she had been crying and saying that she loved me and that she was lonely… I tried to reach out to her the next day and suggested that we start off with just meeting up and talking… But then she replied with “I’m working on myself right now and would really like to be friends” it gives me hope, but really just devastates me later… We were together for 6Yrs and have been separated now for 2.5Months… I would really like a woman’s perspective on my situation, I’m on my phone in the airport right now so I can’t post a link to my “post”
JAM I think your situation can really work! She seems to really love and miss you. For 6 years 2.5 months is nothing. Give her time, be there from time to time. Not ALL the time though. Don’t seem like you want to get back just let her be for a bit, miss you even more… Honestly after 6 years a time apart can be great. You have your whole lifes ahead, no need to rush it now
I felt like this a month after we broke up. But then felt everything slipping out of my hands. And since then it has been dificult dealing with time. But we were together for a short period
Lol Kaila, you are too positive about my relationship. I just feel so dull inside that its never going to happen again :(. Why would he be stupid enough to come back for a second time when nothing changed the first and the second time. I think there are many things we can do differently such as not move in together so quickly again and trying counselling and stuff but I can’t say any of this to him. I haven’t even heard from him since we broke up. The day I left our house I left him this note being completely honest about the positive impact he’s had on me even if i didn’t show it and I left him his birthday present which I had just gotten him for his bday in 2 weeks time. So stupid of me to keep hoping.
And Jam she sent you a friend request, I think thats great ! You don’t have to accept it but it is a positive sign from her. As a male i would actually love your opinion on my “social media” post.
OH yeah! I remember your post now! Oh dear… You need to give him time really. And trully work on yourself. I am not saying it cant change but you really shouldnt have fallen into old habits again! You cant afford to do that again so really take time and work
Yeah things were very tense as we got back together and I moved back in to help him out as he desoerately needed a roommate and so I wanted to help him out as he had already asked me to move back in. I feel solely responsible even though I don’t think this is all my fault. We had put preventions in place in case we started to go back to a bad place but none of them happened and now I don’t know what to do. We have no forms of social media and I feel like he’s definitely back on tinder. Last year when we broke up he was on tinder one day later and I used to see him on there as I was also on there myself but wasn’t serious about it. There’s just so much regret and I don’t know how to go about it and fix it. Especially when he hasn’t even contacted me yet
I accepted it… On your “womanly” advice lol… I’m getting ready to fly to Dallas right now, I’ll reply to your posts when I’m able to get on my computer at the hotel…
Hum… I understand you feel solely responsible, I do too! But that’s not much possible. I feel I am 70% responsible, he is the rest. He messed up too a bit, but still I am the one that blew it. Honestly I don’t think any of you should have risked your relationship by living together so fast. But I understand why you did it. Anyway he could have tried something else, because now he definetly will have to! And if he got on tinder one day after, he means he is hurt I think. Not that he is really looking.
you just create an account and then add me. I am saying this cause if you feel as bad with your life as I do maybe we can help each other 
Its life! My kids will have so much more from me 
We used to hang out the 4 of us a lot. It was perfect! We were just the perfect couple group