So after discussing with my ex, since I’m finally in post-NC mode 2 months after, I’ve talked with him about possibly getting back together in a committed relationship.
Not sure if this discussion is considered too early. But, if his love is worth trying to work things out together with, I will make it so.
Anyway, he told me that he has deep interest in me, but he also doesn’t feel safe with me. He’s afraid of getting hurt again.
How do you gain an ex’s trust and have him feel safe?
This is kinda what I am currently going through with my ex. NC kinda works against my situation so no NC for me. We have been in contact every day,he being the one initiating contact. I betrayed my ex’s trust so he has trust issues. A more positive sign in your case than mine is that at least your ex properly confessed that he has deep interest in you. Mine just gives me his hot and cold signs. Deep down I feel he still has feelings for me but is hesitant of a relationship because of the trust issues. He is still insecure and vulnerable with thoughts of being hurt again.I am best friends with him now and am trying to work on the trust issues by always being there for him,not leaving any room for doubt. That way I am not pressurizing him for a reconciliation and at the same time trying to rebuild his broken trust (which takes time to build). The most important factor which determines a reconciliation is the emotional connect. Once you have that, reconciliation is almost a sure thing. We both need to want to work on that. Again,it’s all tied down to trust. Without trust he wont open up and wont feel safe and unless he feels safe he wont connect emotionally and unless he connects emotionally,there cant be a reconciliation.