I heard that my ex is talking to another guy after 3 weeks of leaving me but Ik she likes him. We never faught and all she told me when she broke up with me was she needed space. Now I don’t think she had any intentions of being with me now but I want to change that. How do I go about this?
How long were you two together?
Play it cool. Don’t insult him if you and your ex speak. Don’t act needy. Don’t have emotional breakdowns. Stop texting and talking to her. This is probably a rebound. Even if she likes him, it still is likely that it’s a rebound. Rebounds, from what I’ve read, can last for months. So, sometimes it seems like a new, legit relationship, but it’s not. Follow the 5 steps. You’ve probably seen that all over this site, and that’s because it’s the best thing to do for yourself. There are plenty of reasons she could’ve needed space, but you can’t get lost in the “why”…try your best to recover.
We dated almost 2 years and the week before she broke up with me she told me she could see herself marrying me and being with me forever so idk what she’s thinking and she told me she wanted want to talk to get clousure. Any opinions in how to go about that
And does that mean it’s completly over ?
It doesn’t mean it’s completely over. It means she is really confused. She’s probably debating with herself about maintaining things with you and wondering if there’s something she’s missing out on. My ex said and did the same things. Don’t freak out about the “closure” statement. She is going her own route right now, and still cares about how you’re feeling. That’s where that’s coming from. She wants to give you closure so you don’t feel the need to wait or carry on in an emotional way. She cares. Think of it that way.
Two years is a good chunk of time. You have a chance, but you’ll have to stay strong!
refer to my previous statement in regards to my advice on how to go about it…
And one other thing she told my friend nick that she’s content with where she is now and all that. Is that likely true or not
Have you considered that she told your friend Nick that so it would get back to you? And she may be content. Whatever pressure she was feeling before has probably lifted. Don’t concentrate on that. Concentrate on yourself and being your attractive best (inside and out). How old are you two?
When and if you are doing NC, tell your friends you don’t want to hear about your ex. I can’t see that as helping with your progress.
and another thing… don’t discuss your ex with your friends if you think it can get back to her!
Were both 20. And I don’t get what “pressure” was so bad and why she didn’t tell me about it when it started. All I did was care about her
Well, she could be freaking out and feeling pressure to explore other options. You two are young, and with being so young…sometimes what seems to be a solid and serious relationship ends up being a “Omfg…I’m only 20. I mentioned kids and marriage. wtf. he’s really into that idea…I’m not ready! What if he’s not who I am supposed to be with!? What am I missing out on!?”
That’s what I mean by pressure. Just follow the steps. I know it’s hard. We all do. We’ll be here for you. Every step of the way.
Just keep in mind that you can’t think too much into it. Once you start doing that, you’re going to halt your own progress. People do a million things for a trillion different reasons. Humans are so complex in thoughts and feelings. I think we’re a walking talking puzzle with so many pieces we can’t even begin to imagine fitting them all together before we pass on.
When I talk to her should I try to establish a false friendship or should I go back to no contact.what should be my goals from talking to her without sounding despite and pushing her away
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