I hope you celebrated you birthday well . And had good time .
My trip was ok . My gilfriend really tryed her best to entertain me .
She showed me around .
I still love my ex. I was on 3/4 dates . Didn’t helped much . I still think about him every day . I can’t change anything yet. It’s a month since I v seen him last time . Still a lot of questions why ? Why I love him and he don’t , Why he forgot me and I didn’t forgot him. Why he lives his life and I don’t .
I thought I will fine , but I am not . I have therapyst now ones in 2 weeks . I can’t handle it by myself …
Dear Karina,
Yes, I celebrated my birthday with the people that love me: my parents. I sympathize with you 100%: two years later I still think about him and still wonder how he could just stop loving me like that. I’ve been with other guys too but that was a temporary relief. It’s good that you’re seeing a therapist, you should seek help. And most importantly, surround yourself with people that do love you. I wouldn’t make it without my parents and my friends. They remind me that I’m not a worthless piece of shit that nobody loves but a wonderful and beautiful person! It’s going to be hard but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been there and I’m much stronger now.
I have updates lol
Two weeks ago my ex texted me after 1,5 month we didn’t socialized .Do you remember what happened between us last time ? I slapped him right at the bar .
, (1,5 month non seen,non talked ) So he started texting me , calling me , ask me every day how I am ,have a good night , reporting what he done all day , sending pictures . We met , we talked , we said sorry each other . And Stared seen each other again . And he really seemed like he sorry. Guess what he did next ? On 3 th date we had sex and he disappeared .? Can you believe ? I tryed texting him ones , I texted like ; hello , how are you ? What’s new ? And he talk to me cold , responding my text in 2/3 hours. And never texting me if I didn’t texted him first . I been with him last time 8 days ago .So since then silence .
I am in shock . He distriyed my life basically.??I just stared recovering . I just stared feel ok .And that’s what he did with me . I don’t know that should I do now ? Should I talk to him again ? Would I tell him I am not going deal with that kind of treatment ?
Fuck him. Delete his number, block on every social media. There’s no going back anymore. He will use you as a doormat if you keep letting him come back to you every time. Sorry to sound harsh but I’ve been thru all this.
You are right .
I’m sorry, I wish I wasn’t…
I text him . I tell you what he said . When I will stop cry.
Generally, after sex, I have not heard from him for 8 days. I texted him today because I’m not move on , I was waiting and can’t work , live , create ( I’m a photographer). I wrote to him directly and asked what was going on and why you disappeared ? Of course he started making excuses ,like he was busy and or so. I told him we need to talk and figure out the relationship . I’m not going to tolerate this attitude and demand respect. I asked why he didn’t texted ,me a week and whats going on ? Why did you come back to me the first question . You know what he said ? He said ,he came back to make a point lol
Because when I slapped him and felt ,that looked like we broke up too messy. And so he decided to play with me and be my friend , but suddenly we slept together too fast ( he said so) And he doesn’t want me for relationship. Here’s what he said , you have a bad character and I have a lot of my problems with the head , fears, etc. but I want to be a friend with you. I told him fuck u , I’m not going to be friends with you and sleep with you when it suits you, and I wrote him a very harsh text.
I wrote that he is not very confident and immature man that I don’t need that, I completely disappointed his him . That he needs to finally grow up . I also said that someday he will understand that it is necessary to appreciate someone who cares about you , thinks and wants to be with you . You finally very disappointed me , hurt my fillings , that was your last chance,never try to contact me. Thats all. I don’t want hear about him , I finally realized he is not very good person it all if he treated me like this.
Bravo! Finally he showed his real face. You know I got that too from my ex: we’re not a good couple because you’re not good for me but we can be friends. Bullshit. If he thinks you’re a bad person with a bad character, why does he want to be friends with you? That’s all pretense darling. He wants to look like the good guy, they all do. “Let’s be friends, we can be better than that blah blah”. Friendship means something too, you can’t be friends with someone you don’t respect and he doesn’t respect you. Good riddance!
When I get married to a real man, not a pussy, I’ll hire you as my wedding photographer:)
Thanks ! I think he thought that *friends * -person who he can fuck when its convenient lol Its not going to be like that with me !
I made mistake that I slept with him on 3th date . But in normal cases if people really love each other its fine. WE not 19 years old . And we been together for 1, 5 year so far. I hope he will never come back any more .Because I just don’t want hear about him. He is just piece of shit.
There is a psychologist (John Gottman) who can apparently predict whether couples will stay together with an 80% accuracy, after having spent 5 minutes with them. He refers to the four signs as being the four horsemen of the apocalypse:
Criticism - Instead of complaining about an issue in your relationship, you instead criticise the other person and make it their failing/fault.
Defensiveness - You refuse to accept responsibility for your own issues, and say it’s the other person.
Stonewalling - 85% of the time, it’s the man that does this. It is turning away from an issue, and refusing to discuss it, contemplate it, or resolve it. Instead, you blank the other person and act as if you couldn’t care less what they say/do/feel.
Contempt - Abusing the other person through name-calling, sarcasm, and generally showing nothing but disgust for them. You have no interest in resolving the issues, you just want to hurt the other person. If you reach this stage, it is extremely unlikely that you will ever save your relationship.
I’ve experienced all four.
I think my ex came to take revenge . Because of my slap at the bar . He pretended that he wanted to come back to me and wants relationship and in reality he just wanted sex and prove me that he wone . Prove him and me that after 1,5 month I still want to be with him . I did not know that he is so Cruel person. I really hate him now . No feelings nothing .I sincerely hope that life will punish him for that …
If that really was his plan, that is very cruel! I’m so sorry you had to go thru that.
My ex texted me last night and wanted to discuss a book? He told me “I read a book because I remembered you liked it”! We chatted for a while and then I called him out for never reading my favorite book and he said he would! I’m really confused by him trying to be all nice. I think he’s also trying to make a point. Since I was the one who eventually stopped talking to him, that was probably bothering him. He wants to be on good terms with me just to prove that he can. These men can’t accept defeat or that they simply messed up…
Be very careful . My ex did the same . When he texted me he said ; Oh Karina , you are world traveler , I really miss travaling with you .
Tell your mom hello from me .
I am very happy you staring your own business .
Are you still go to our gym ?
I still pay for our gym , for your too .
I missed your cooking really .
Let’s go and eat to your national food restaurant .
I mentioned about some good Hamburger place in city , he said , I want take you there.
See , I try to by gentleman open you door , I never done that .
And when he had sex he disappeared for 8 days . Non text , non calls .
That’s what he texted me after I asked why he came back to me ;" I wanted not end things on such a bad note , and then we ended up sleeping with each other too soon. I don’t think I will make you happy in relationship honestly , I am too set in my ways of being selfish."
And this is the person been saing that he going to preposal me !?
And this is the person who said to me on 6 th date I am woman of his life and he love me!?
And this is the person was in my county and wanted meet my parents ?!
And this is ther person took me to introduce me with his mom !?
And this is the person who took 6 month my native language classes ?!
And this is the person I been really worry about and been keep saing how good person he is!?
Remember ? 3 month ago basically .
I am not recognizeing him. That’s the person who is came to fuck me and leave in week and broked me hart just to prove himself that I still in to him lol. That he is cool . Because I really didn’t contacted him 1,5 month and seemed fine without him .
Few month ago Kevin had article here ; He said one woman wanted her boyfriend back so she can brake up with him , because she wants to make him feel as bad as she felt . That’s pretty much what my ex done 2 time with me after brake up .He is just miserable shit . He really doesn’t deserve any of my tears:(
Don’t believe your ex . He wants it for self gratification.
I can’t believe I was so naive I stated trust him back . ???
I have no doubt my ex will try to do that again . What do you think ?
And you don’t trust him . He is full of shit probably . Sorry .
Laura.H you been so right that my ex never loved me in a first place ! Never . He just love himself .
Well my ex met my parents too and told me I was his soulmate and perfect for him. And just like that, he changed too. It happens and unfortunately it happened to us. In some sick way, i think the reason why he did all those things (learned your language etc.) is also self-gratification. Making women happy makes men feel good about themselves, especially such self-centered men as our exes. Eventually, they either get bored of this game or continue indefinitely. It’s not like he never loved you but he loves himself more. That was the tipping point.
Kevin’s plan with no contact works: gets him wondering why you don’t talk to him. But it’s also dangerous cuz if our exes reach out to us just for an ego boost we may mistake it for something else. I know my ex inside out so I don’t trust his selfish ways either.
My therapist says he never loved me . Because if he did he would never done that with me . And would wanted to give a chance for this relationship. My ex ( my therapist thinks) loved himself in that relationship. He felt himself especial . That’s why he been there for a while .
Your therapist is right. We know how to make a man feel special and that’s what they “loved” about us. I mean we cook, clean, have sex with them, travel with them, entertain their guests, rub their backs, pick out their furniture, organize their kitchen cupboards, pop their zits (I know, I’m disgusting!). What else does a man need? But tides changed when we started asking for more attention and support (at least I really needed it) and it stopped being all about them. My ex told me: “I don’t feel like a man with you anymore”. So they will latch themselves on to a woman as long as it feels good but when the ship hits the rocks, they’re out. I’m not a shrink but I think it has to do with upbringing and what their mothers taught them about women.