My ex and I have broken up a second time. The first time we got together easily. I did straight up no contact for a few weeks before reaching out and my ex who was delighted to hear from me. I guess I caught him at the right time. The first breakup was also very hasty and I don’t think he thought a lot about his decision. We recently broke up a second time. My ex gave me the same reasons as the first time, which I do not believe to be true because if they were he would not have gotten back together. Rather I think this time had more to do with some job stress and instability that led to him feeling like things weren’t right in our relationship. I did not react well to the second breakup (big mistake on my part but I was very heart broken this time) but I did apologize about a week later and he seems mostly ok with it. We see each other often and he is always the the one to come up and talk to me and I usually act polite back.
This past week, I accidentally called my ex while trying to decide whether to delete his number from my phone. I just hit call for a second and didn’t even think it went through. Apparently it did though because the next day he called me! I did not answer but that same evening we met at the same place and he said sorry for missing your call. I was very confused which he could see and after he showed me the call on his phone, I realized what happened. I said sorry and that I had accidentally called him when deleting his number then walked away. I had actually just changed his name and not deleted his number.
Anyways I saw him again last night and this time he did not come up to me to talk. Which is understandable because I did say I deleted his number and probably didn’t look like I had wanted to talk to him so he is probably giving me space. I tried to stay away from him that evening because I was a little emotional about the whole phone call thing. I do not think it it good behavior to completely ignore my ex but I do not think I am emotionally stable enough to be the one to go up to him and talk.
We will continue to run into each other frequently. I am expecting to see him tomorrow actually. I really want to get back together and believe things will work because we had a very good relationship both times we dated but I do not want to appear needy or desperate. I just want to know how exactly I deal with constantly seeing him when I am still not emotionally ready.
How is it that you’re running into each other often? A bar? School events? If you’re not emotionally ready to see him so often, isn’t there a way to avoid it?
Go ahead and talk with him tomorrow if you think it will help resolve any problems with the situation.
we share the same hobby and often run into each other at events for that. I do not want to stop my hobby because it is one of the things helping me take my mind of the breakup. Sometimes I have expected to see him, other times I have not. The past three days we have actually been in the same place and one of those he was blatantly flirting with another girl in front of me… So I didn’t talk to him that day or the day after. Maybe I will try to say hi next time we run into each other. Talking to him makes me emotional so I want to be at a place where I can be confident talking to him
Two breakups is NOT a good sign. And work stress is just an excuse he gave you. What were the reasons for the first breakup? There’s more to this story than you’re telling…
People don’t break up with someone they love because of tough times.
haha I wish I could tell you what really happened… the first time things were going really well we hadn’t been dating for very long but he wanted to talk about where we were going with things. I kinda always thought we would be together for a while but maybe the conversation came too soon for me. I had difficulty talking in this conversation. A couple days later, he broke up. His reasons for breaking up were that we were too different and we didn’t have a good connection (which I don’t agree with) and he didn’t feel 100% about things. The 100% about things I also feel is weird because really when do you ever always feel 100% in a relationship. I think he felt like he made his decision too hastily so we got back together after a short while. Again, things were going well if not better and then he got really distant because he found out he might have to move for work. He broke up with me again, giving the same reasons as the first time. I feel like the reasons were just excuses for what was really going on. I don’t understand why he would want to get back together if he thought these things were a huge issue but I also cannot know for sure how he feels.
I’m sorry. It’s so sad that you think things were going well, but he didn’t. You were together a short time and he wasn’t feeling a connection. He gave it another try, but it just verified his feeling about not feeling a great connection, so he broke up with you again.
When you’re feeling better, you could try and talk with him, but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to try to get back together. If so, don’t argue about it or try to convince him…
But, I think you should try to get over him and get on with your life. Hopefully you will meet a nice guy who is compatible with you and both of you will be able to enjoy a good relationship:)