So my ex and I were together 4 years, we were each others first love and first sexual partners. I have posted my full story in other posts but basically she left me once 2 years ago and got into a new relationship less than a month after. 2 months later she came back and asked for forgivness. Saying she made a mistake and that even though this new guy was great, he wasn’t me. Then almost exactly 2 years later she left me again, started dating another guy almost immediately, then after 1 1/2 month of NC I contact her and we start talking, and she says she loves me and wants to try again. 3 weeks later she changes her mind saying no, I can’t do this and breaks up with me. I ask her how she could say she loves me and wants to try again and then break up with me. No answer. 2 weeks later I see her with a new guy holding hands. Not the same from before. It’s been over 3 months and they are in a relationship and going strong. They even went on a vacation together 1 month after we broke up for the last time.
I only contacted 3 times total since the break up with pretty much a month in between each time but getting no reply. The last time her father called and told me to stay away or he would call the police. Like I was some sort of abusive or stalker ex boyfriend.
Now I have come to terms with it being over. It still hurts but I know I’m screwed. But she has cut me out of her life like I was some disease and I don’t understand why and how. She was my lover and best friend for 4 years of my life. I miss my best friend. I miss just saying hi. To have my existence acknowledged by her. To know what’s going on with her. I don’t want her back. Because that’s not what she wants, and after how she has treated me and what she has done I don’t think I could take her back. But it doesn’t stop me from missing my friend. It’s the missing that’s the hardest. I just want to reach out. Talk to her. Just talk. But she doesn’t care. Doesn’t want to. She could forget about me in a blink of an eye.
How should I cope with this feeling? I don’t want to contact her since she obviously hates me or doesn’t want me near her for some reason. I just miss her so much.