Dear Kevin,
First, I’d like to thank you. I purchased your EBP system and it really helped me going through the hell after the breakup. I hope you could give me some more advice how to restart the contact after 45 days no contact. Much appreciated!!! I will try to make the story shorter.
My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 5 months since last December. We had an argument in this May, because, on one hand, I am a PhD student and couldn’t make her feel financially secure for now. On the other hand, after I get my PhD we have to maintain a long-distance relationship for two years. We both are at our thirties, not young any more. Plus, I complained something when we had the argument and she hated my attitude. After the argument, I tried to convince her but it didn’t work. Eventually, I said let’s breakup but regrated immediately. After that, she deleted my chatting software and blocked my phone number. One week later, I called her using friend’s mobile and apologized. She was calm and patient letting me talk and at the end she said she need to consider. Since then, I tried few ways to get her back, writing a letter and post card, and texting, calling. But she never answered the phone or replied the message. I didn’t contact her very often; may be few times a week. During that time, I used friends’ phone to call her few times, sometimes she answered but we never had a long conversation. One month later, my mutual friend texted her, said something good about me, and asked her that does she really give up on me? She replied that it’s my fault; she saw the dark side of me; all I was thinking is getting something from her instead of giving; I forced her to obey my decision by using “breakup”, which I think hurt her most. After that, I went to her house twice to explain myself and it didn’t work. She didn’t want to talk to me. And then, I realized that I made things worse. Meanwhile, I saw your website and decided to give us some time and space. Until now, it’s been about 45 days.
Do you think it’s good time to restart the contact now? My plan is to text her asking help. Because I am preparing IELTS which is helpful for letting me stay in her country after graduate. I want to ask her to correct my pronunciation of International Phonetic Alphabet. Maybe just one hour. She is a teacher and very good at this. And I bought her some books related to this before. But if she knows I am preparing this language test she would figure out I am trying to do something getting her back. Do you think it’s a good idea? The message in my mind looks like “Hey **, how have you been? Sorry to bother you. I am preparing the IELTS test and have some problems with the pronunciation. Just wondering could you please help me with that? Just correct the pronunciation of international phonetic alphabet. It won’t take a long time. I appreciate your help. But I totally understand if you are not available now. Hope you are doing well.”
Do you think if it’s a good idea to ask help or should I send a “good memory reminder” message? In addition, she will go to overseas next weekend. Do you think should I send her the message now or when she comes back? Any suggestions will be appreciated.