Background:
Key points
She liked me for 3 years before we started talking
We did the pre dating thing for almost a year (she didn’t want to be just a fling)
We dated for 18 months before being on and off for 6 months
I worship the group she walked on for the majority of our relationship
Then I began to take her for granted, we didn’t do enough just us and another guy came along (towards the end)
He showered her with affection and communicated with her better than I did (I became lazy insecure/desperate due to him, making the conversation worse) I kept chasing as I lost more and more of my dignity
She eventually left me after he spent months wiggling his way in
They’ve been dating for months (5).
She never used Facebook and now plasters photos of them all over it (someone I know described it as what a 14 year old does) I deleted her a while ago and haven’t contacted her in around two month. She deleted all of our photos but kept our relationship status, recently after I updated my job status she changed all her photos to public (now I can see them, rather than every now and then a friend telling me) (it has stopped me looking at her Facebook now though)
She is very dependant as she only has 3 friend (him, a girl who has very little relationship experience and likes him and another who is friends with me and is annoyed at her because she is spending all her time with him)
She’s attached to him
I miss her. it’s sad because men aren’t supposed to cry, but every few days I have to fight not too.
All I want is her back and I just need a little faith right now.
She told me I’m more attractive than the new guy but ‘looks aren’t everything’
I’ve sought out and am seeing a therapist and councillor, it’s making me more emotionally stable
We were each others first loves
We had very good… chemistry
He is richer and smarter than I am (sciences wise)
I’ve been forcing myself to socialise, meeting friends and generally getting out of the house, exercising etc…
I also got a job (started a week or two ago) so that I can afford to do things with her and get the tools to get to a point where I can do things with her
After her friend bumped into me and I put my new job on Facebook, she changed her photos with him to ‘public’ (even the old ones, why I deleted her) (to reiterate)
I’ve done about 2 months no contact
I’d like to write the perfect letter or text messages, I’ve also looks at text your ex back (the one is RR seems like it’ll be inaffective). I would appreciate any advice but I’d prefer it if people would refrain from blatant negatives as it can be painful. Thank to everyone and anyone who replies
I keep trying to convince myself of things like (to me it feels that the sudden change in activity and requirement to share every little detail that they relationship carries less substance) or that she’d be happier with me, or that she is thinking of me, I’m doing a lot of what ifs and would like to actually do something to move this in a positive direction, adjacent to me moving forward with life (I.e doing things, job, university etc)
Thank you to who ever tries to help me