Honest opinions on my chances!

Hello I’m F25 and my ex is M23,

As many of you have guessed: I’m going through a breakup. And I’m currently in NC for two weeks and a half (the picking up talk not included however).

When the breakup occurred I wouldn’t say I was surprised. We had been fighting a lot due to an unresolved fight that escalated during quarantine and thus not being able to see one another face to face (damn you corona!!).
So what I’m wondering is if there’s a possible chance or I will face a horrible heartbreak when contacting him again at some point. I’m kind of afraid he would find someone else considering he’s quite successful career wise and had been successful with the ladies before we started dating as well (despite him not showing much interest).

The initial break up was my fault really. I had been the one who emotionally and very childishly told him I didn’t want him anymore and that he had to get my bags ready by tomorrow. Now usually he would be afraid of losing me, which he seemed to be at first. He told me he found it really sad I would break up for this. And eventually when he had given up on fixing things I regretted it.
He however, ended on choosing to go through with it. He said it was my punishment. That he never ever wanted to feel like I could throw him away like that again. I couldn’t argue and ended on apologizing. He left whilst crying and after the break up talk was over I got angry. I guess you all know the process of how that goes. So the next two times I opened the conversation with him in a uncivilized angry way. Me ignoring his requests to stop hurting him got me blocked on messenger (not facebook itself), whatsapp and his phone number.

I hadn’t contacted him for a good week and a half before getting my stuff. He wasn’t home so I had no awkward confrontation. However, we did text by snapchat (how else was he supposed to know I was getting my stuff). And the conversation seemed a lot better. We were both calm. And he stated how he hoped I was happy about getting my stuff back and that he cleaned my playstation, games and controllers before putting it in the bag.
We had a short recap of the break up how he felt really shitty about how he broke up with me. That he had miss understood my intentions and that it really bothered him I only told him afterwards that I had made a list with friends to fix things but we never got it because he broke up. He also said he was doubting about what I even felt for him still at this very moment. And I know you all will scold me for this because I did so myself afterwards but I replied that of course I still loved him and wasn’t really sure what to do with the whole situation. In the end he still stated that he felt like he wasn’t fit for a relationship until he was able to provide his partner with everything and that he really felt like he lacked the ability to be there for me emotionally. To which I agreed and we didn’t continue the conversation about our relationship afterwards.

I do want to give some extra information on who he is as a person and his possible dating history?
As a kid he was neglected as a kid and ended up getting raised by his grandmother (whom passed away) and her partner. Why is this important? Because I feel like this experience had a huge effect on who he is as a person. He’s the type who would put logical actions above emotional ones. Which is the part that makes me think he won’t come back.
However, I wasn’t just a regular person to him. The last time he had cried was when he was a kid. His parents had bought him a broken toy and his grandpa calling them up for it had his parents reply: well he’s just ungrateful and won’t get any birthday presents again. That was the last time he had cried, before I happened.
The first girl he got into a long term relationship with. So you could say I was / still am his first love. The first person that met his family and got all his friends to compliment on getting the impossible guy actually fall in love with her. Now this is probably the part that makes me hold hope.

I’m not sure if this is needed for the calculations of my odds but:
He used to have enormous pain with sex. He had an operation to fix it, hence why he had tried a relationship and one night stands before me. But it hadn’t worked. Now this issue has somehow actually been fixed with me. He had no issues whatsoever and was able to enjoy sex for the first time in my life.
But this actually makes me more afraid he would try again with someone else?

I’m really not sure. Is it possible for me to get him back?
He was really a sweet guy. Very awkward at giving me presents because he wasn’t used to it but it got so much better with the time! He loved showing me off which was an amazing confidence boost. And whenever we had a small fight with me giving him the fake pout silent treatment he just fixed it with hot chocolate and nice notes.
I really feel like I kind of fucked it up and lost someone who really was good to me.
It’s also going to be such a pain in the arse with all our mutual friends! They love us both and I know they won’t be able to keep us apart for future gatherings (which will thankfully be prolonged thanks to corona so I have the time to mentally prepare).

Sorry for the long text I just want some more accurate results than a quiz!

@Magnolia How long were you together? What were the arguments about?

Too many arguments isn’t a good sign for reconciliation, but if you were together a long time and it was mostly a good relationship, that works in your favor:)

Give it time and continue no contact…

@patricia12
Oh and here I thought I covered everything, sorry!
We were together for about 9 months and knew each other prior to that for about 2 years. We met through a frat so obviously both were pretty skeptical and were very stubborn (for our own good) about our feelings.

Overall our relationships was good except for the fights and him not being good at emotionally supporting me.
I’m easily a doom thinker and hurt him with it. So I’m definitely taking my time now to work on that. Set myself some goals to achieve before I even think of texting him because I feel rather underachieved on my career department and I think that should give me some confidence.
He on the other hand is also aware of his mistakes and also told me when breaking up that he would like to find a solution on his lack of mental support before considering a relationship again. He feels like he should be a boyfriend that is able to support his partner with every need and for me the issue was emotionally.

Thank you for taking your time to reply <3

@Magnolia Okay, try to work on seeing your life, career and the world in a more positive light. Negativity and arguing is very bad in any relationship! People want to be happy in relationships, right?

You have the right attitude about the situation… Good luck:)

@patricia12 Yes you’re very right! I decided to go get my license but I’m having a hard time being motivated with the gloomy state we live in right now. But I’m already back at doing some inside sports in the morning!

Thank you, I really try :slight_smile: <3

@Magnolia What kind of license? I understand it seems like a gloomy state we live in now, but try to make it a positive by working on self improvements and enjoying things while inside too. Such as your sports and calling friends and relatives etc…

@patricia12 My driver license, I really feel like I’m behind on life sometimes.
I actually reconnected with my best friend from three years ago and she suggested sporting together when the lock down’s over so I definitely got something to look forward to!

@Magnolia That’s great you connected with you friend and have something fun to look forward to… Continue to focus on positive things and develop a more pleasant outlook on life:) So far, so good.

Curious as to what you mean by sporting activities?

Wishing you the best…

@patricia12 Well she has been super into sports ever since our friendship ended. She suggested me to start with elastics kind of sports since I’m not used to sporting. And when the lockdown’s lifted she wants to take me to the gym. She already linked me her protein shakes and is going to hand me all the ropes of how and what to. It’s not that I need to lose weight, I actually need to gain muscle weight and be a little more active with my body :').

Thank you again<3