havent heard from you in a while… hope youre okay
hey guys thanks for checking up on me. 
anyways quick update, I was working almost all day today and Wednesday but didnt go thursday because I have no car. anyways no I dont have a job this is on call so I just go when they need people so doing it for some side money till I get an actual job. anyways to make a long story short Thursday he told the kids that they were gonna have to stay home and I said no they are going to school. he didnt want to let me borrow the car at all. 
anyways so we walked to my youngest school its closed by and then we walked to the bus stop and got off as close as we could to my oldest school. and that was still a long walk. we made it by a second before the bueses to my oldest field trip left. talk about luck. lol so then the cop from my oldest school saw how I was and said your not walking and well she said she was gonna take me home or where ever I was gonna go to. so she took me to my husbands job (and yes he thought something because I found out later that he told my oldest or his mom that he doesnt trust me) anyways so I asked him for the keys to the car and he said no that I popped his tire that I dont let him in my car (because he doesnt let me in his) and that no. so the cop was gonna say something to him but I asked her not to she said are you sure and I said yeah. well that didnt work I told him I was gonna go walking and he gave me money and went to his job. I was outside his job for like 5 hours and he didnt care. he saw me walking at one point from his car towards his store and he ignored me like I wasnt even there. and then after a while he moved the car and locked the door. while he was walking towards the car he was on his phone ugh. anyways so he left me stranded that day. I was gonna get ready to walk to get my oldest and I get a call saying hi mommy I was in shock. he got both kids from school and took them home. he did call me but I was pissed of for him leaving me there and ignoring me like if I was nothing. also that time I mention he saw me I was looking for my bus passes that I lost and never found. so I had bought him a sandwich and wrote him a note and left it in his job for him. then I left. anyways the day before I had called him and he gave me a ride to work thing being we almost had an accident in the highway (joking I told his mom If we would have died I would have died happy, lol) but a lot more has happen and he was very cold with me and yesterday was even worse. Ill continue this later but thanks for asking how I was and checking on me and yes after being a prick I still love him and forgive him and still wanna be with him but im gonna get my shit together first and continue my plan. I still have so much to say about those days. I hope you guys are doing well will try to update more soon. wish me luck I may have time this weekend to write.
aamls- you really really really need to talk to a professional counselsor.
He doesn’t let you take the car to get your children to school on time?
He picks them up from school without telling you and leaves you stranded?
And you are concerned he is on the phone (he was walking towards the car he was on his phone ugh.) WHY does that bother you!! There are MUCH BIGGER problems.
He is abusive, immature, and an overall a**hole.
After all of this you buy him food and write a note for him!?! What are you thinking?
He treats you awful and you continue to act needy. You are not helping yourself or your children. Go to a free legal advice center! Talk with a lawyer! Go to a free mental health clinic! Talk about your relationship! Do all of this on your own. Stand up for yourself.
But please stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing; it is not working. Like I said in my last post you are repeating the same cycle over and over. Is that what you want?
@bguarino thanks for your reply. I know you must think im crazy or something for wanting to be with him, but I love him very much. :‘( yes I need to find help so I wont find myself going crazy or doing something crazy and then I’ll really get fucked up. this bitch deserves to get her ass whoop for real man idk how I’ve kept myself together all this time. my husband would have already done something about it as when the thing happen with his cousin he punched him in the face and he stopped there, ugh. anyways I’ve kept busy this weekend with my kids and been very busy this past week. so I guess im doing good, but still think of him and miss him very much. at my oldest request we went to church with his sister and I was talking to her and ugh, she told me she met the bitch and saw that kid she got. Im so pissed off like you wouldnt believe but she said that hes very hurt and its gonna take time and be hard. she said she suggest for me to tell him to go to counseling, idk. but f course at the end is his choice. she said she doesnt agree with his choices but its still her brother, which i get that but I still dont think she should allow that bitch in her home. also found out that her baby daddy left her ass a while ag already and left back to his country. now I understand why this asshole left her ugly ass and left to his country. ugh I wish there was a way of getting a hold of him. idk what to do or think anymore and I want him back really bad but dont see it happening. I talked to his sisters pastor and she told me its gonna be really hard to get him back or a lot of work,idk but she offer to counsel us and now knows more of the situation going on. thing being hes obsessed with this bitch so how is he even going to try to make it work when this bitch is in the way, I swear I wanna whoop her ass really bad, the only thing stopping me is not going to jail or losing my kids for that garbage that belongs in the trash. ugh. he never called or text today at all to speak with the kids or pick them up. its not like him at all. so my best guess is that bitch. ugh this is so stressful. damn I really want to whoop her ass anyways he may have worked in the morning but that was his second job. so I know hes of on sundays. I really wish I knew what to do. he sent me a text the other day saying to “give” him a hundred and he’ll put the rest (can you believe how he asked for money back and hes still married to me and he works 2 jobs and hes asking me for that,bullshit, I think the reason he did it was because of what i told his mom about getting the money from the other week but not sure) anyways and that this was the last time he was gonna help me and that then I was gonna have to deal with everything else myself. ugh so I found out after calling the car place and everything that he payed for the car. he never said anything about it or his mother. anyways so I went to go get the car and was happy it was payed for. im so stressed though just because i havent heard from him and I miss him so much and stuff but I know I cant stress myself out because of this shit. tomorrow I got to go to the housing place and to this place where they are suppose to help me with free toys for Christmas. so yeah im trying to get me all the help I can get but without trying to jeopardize myself. anyone with ideas or anything I feel desperate. I really miss him a lot but know I cant do much. :’( funny thing is I havent been here to be next to his mother and she and he will probably be wondering about my where abouts but who knows. his mother called me yesterday to ask me if I got the car, it may have been him asking her but who knows I felt like she was invading my privacy, I said im gonna tell her something and my oldest told me mommy dont thats our place to stay and she can kick us out, once you have a place to stay then you can say something, lol but yeah, idk if I even will. ugh im so stressed out. anyways what do you guys think about all of this, I hate this shit. thanks guys
so im not feeling it today. :‘( I feel really down and I miss him so much. idk what to do. Im gonna go in a few to try to sign up for some free food and items for Christmas for the kids, hopefully they can help me out. also then Im gonna try to go to the housing place. I really still feel really down today. I went by his job and he was there but the car was locked so I couldnt get my youngest book bag. im trying to avoid contacting him as he can care less to contact me but idk how long were gonna be like this. I really wish he’d reach out to me but hasnt and im gonna need to check the mail for stupid divorce papers soon. :’( @bguarino he is being an asshole, I’ve been said that. the reason I gave him the sandwich was cause one of his cousins told me to and to write him a note later she said he was being an ass and told me to forget him, some guy gave me advise to send him text every once in a while like saying things like handsome and send smileys he told me it’ll take time, but my husband reacted mean to it, but idk if to continue (i dont want to push him away farther) then the walking incident occurred and well I have been asking different people for advise and got a mixture of things. from letting him go to praying to doing the things mentioned above to praying to his sister saying counseling as I did mention it but she did say its his choice and if (when) he says no then I cant do nothing about it. im trying to wait to see if he reaches out but hes not and if he can be all the time on the phone then he can look for me whenever he wants which hes not doing. :‘( idk what to do anymore then what im already doing. like i said before that I can get help and make it on my own of course I can anyone can but that i want him in my life I do, thing being I cant make him be there and the way hes acting its difficult and im not gonna be happy unless I have him there. im really down today. I know job wise and help wise and financially wise some how I’ll be alright my thing is my husband, I want him back. :’( anyways I guess theres nothing left that i havent heard and this is so stressful and I really miss him and want him back. :‘( btw his sister told me that he has kinda acknowledged some of the things i’ve done for him but since he feels the way he does it I guess didnt have the same effect on him, idk ugh I just want him back and i hate that you need to give them time and space. I guess I need to re-read rr. ugh…:’(
so he talked to my oldest or kids yesterday through the house phone and I to his mother to. his mother said he had just came out of work and was going to do something for school. he has yet to contact me and this hurts. :‘( idk if he’ll ever contact me. I feel so down and depress. I really want my husband back and I feel hes at peace now since im not “bothering” him. im not sure if to do no contact since its been a few days of silence which is peaceful in the sense of no fighting and arguing. but i really miss him and want to make it work. what should i do. I was thinking of sending him a text saying hey but isnt that a blank text. I just want him to miss me and want me back. :’( I wasnt able to get the emergency housing so I may have to go to the child support office and tell them that he abandon me which he did. (my oldest said that he had to go back to work the other day so thats probably why he left me stranded, and he told her he didnt see me walking"oh how nice" but he never called me to make sure I was fine or what not.) anyways is there anything I can do to get him back, I want him to miss me nut I feel like this is just gonna help him forget me more. :‘( and I want him to stay away from that bitch but hes constantly texting “it”. :’( anyone? (btw my oldest friends father was trying to get me to meet one of “his” friends lol, but im not interested and just want my husband back. :‘( anyone please help, I really want him back. :’( thanks
Maybe stop focusing on his actions so much. By doing this you are just building up more hurt and resentments for your self, and when you get back together, it will make it harder to trust him. Focus on forgiving him everyday for all of these things he is doing to you. Focus on trying to get your life together and not cataloging his daily behavior. I know how hard that it because you are just looking for any signs that everything is going to be okay in future. But you can really only do the best you can do today. He is going to do whatever it is he is going to do. This will even help you when you are back together and have little petty hurts and problems.
I wish that I could have been better at this when I was with my ex. There are things that I said and did that probably contributed to her losing attraction because I became insecure and starting watching every move she made around me. And I think that some of those times if I had just been kinder to her and forgave her. It just would have been better.
You have two children together so he will NEVER forget you. The best you can do right now is to focus on yourself and the children. Try and not think about every little thing that he does because he doesnt even know half the things he does so they are most likely not done on purpose. Give him some space, dont contact him - if he texts or calls, keep the conversation about the children and sound positive and happy. This will attract him little by little. The worst thing you can do is to fight and argue with him - it will make him pull away even more.
I don’t mean to sound mean or rude, but I think everyone who is following and posting on aamls’s thread, needs to tell her to stop posting about and watching her ex-husband for her OWN good.
This is at least the second thread on her relationship and there are postings daily all with a constant theme of obsession and despair. Nothing has changed on her end and she is not getting any better which is the goal of these support sites- either reconciliation or acceptance, but ultimately healing.
For her own good she needs to stop obsessing and focus on herself. She needs to stop looking at each action and word someone says to her and dissecting it. Otherwise there will never be progress. There has to be faith.
Aamls- you know my story. I cut my ex off completely and now I have a chance to get her back. It was not easy, but it was the right thing to do for me and the 2nd chance I wanted. I had to believe it would work. You need to believe too.
hey everyone, thanks for your responses. I know ya said it but for some reason hearing it out loud it hit me, lol. and yes I have to focus on me and my kids. anyways so this morning at about 4 in the morning I hear his mom on the phone and hear her say something about kids that she didnt know and maybe you could ask the court. I knew it was about me. so a few minutes later he calls me and leaves a voicemail saying my name and that he needs to talk to me. anyways at 6 something am he calls again and then around 2 something or idk what time in the afternoon he called again. he never left a voice mail or text regarding what it was about. so I never returned his call nor I will. anyways I think hes trying to take my kids away from me and this aint gonna happen. I need to find me a place asap. funny thing is now Im fighting for my kids, I already was confident they were mine and now I find myself in this shit. ugh always something it feels like it keeps getting worse instead of better. so now im gonna forget him and fight for my kids. he didnt see them for like 4 or 5 days already. honestly it feels so good to be doing things for my self. anyways so yeah thats where im at now. anyways so im not gonna fight for him I may just let him go but give him a hard time to divorce or at least im letting him go for now. im tired of him being an ass and this thing for him trying to take my kids away from me is a big no no. I feel a little happy, working taking care of my kids doing me going to church and getting out of my shell, it feels great, and im doing it. lets see whats in store for me, I was thinking about it and maybe him and her deserve eachother Im better then that and so is my self worth garbage can stay with garbage shes probably doing me a favor. anyways his mom said he came by today (I was working and had my kids with me) so im doing my thing and well she said he stood for like an hour good for him or his problem lol also that he was working a lot that he worked today his day of and that he “supposedly” was gonna leave his other job but his mom said shes knows him already and he probably wont leave. anyways of course she wasnt gonna tell me what he said or she said but im ok with that. i just cant wait to get out of here. I hope I can keep feeling this way :-)I feel proud of me. who knows what the future holds but I hope it keeps getting better.
so what do you guys think? he wanted me to leave him alone so I left him alone lol I felt like calling him back and telling him: hey what do you want? you wanted me to leave you alone and now your bothering me. what do you want, lol but I didnt, I dont think i really want to talk to him. ewwww, lol oh how I wish I knew you guys personally. all of you have helped me out so much and i will forever be grateful. so I wonder what he wanted lol. he never called back though and his mom told the kids that he said for them to call him and they didnt lol Im so happy. I feel like my kids are being happy with me finally, I wish its true. Im going places and not getting panic attacks and stuff Im doing so well for myself. why do you guys think he called me for. I really want peace and tranquility I hope he doesnt bug me anymore and lets me be with my children. the more he works the better more time for me and my children, I love having them with me at all times anyways they are my life and i got them, wow I havent smiled like this in a while. this is so exciting for me. I hope i dont break down again.
You are a strong woman aalms ,that is the spirit ,that is the way to go.It might not make sense now but believe me you will find happiness again with your ex or not but it takes time .One positive step every day you will make it.I Beleave one day your ex will come back crawling on all fours begging you to come back and at that time you wouldn’t want to because you would have found your Mojo ,talking from experience.
Wooooow … I’m so proud of you aamls … and I’m really happy that you could finally find your inner peace … keep doing this … you are doing great … and idk why did he called you … but maybe he was gonna apologise for not seeing the children recently or something …
keep us updated …
thanks guys for the reply’s. so somethings have been going on which im not happy about. I wanna know what you guys think of everything or what I can remember. so im still not talking to him nor trying to talk to him. his mother keeps talking with him from time to time on the phone and I hear her saying things like shes going to complain, idk basically I feel she keeps talking about this place being nasty, so since I havent been able to find a place to stay, im gonna clean this apartment up and when it gets nasty again I wanna know what crap they’re gonna talk. so anyways besides the apartment issue and yes im still trying to find a place to move to asap. hes not getting my kids they are mine and im not gonna let him get them. (its funny how he let them down last night again, and then tried blaming it on me on text to my oldest, I didnt open the text but you could see it, saying something like your mother and I have to come up with, what kind of bs is that. thing being he told them a while ago he was gonna pick them up yesterday to spend the night and I didnt go anywhere and came her so he could pick them up and he never came not to mention his mother wasnt here either so they may have gone to a party that I didnt know about because no one invited me but I dont care and he didnt pick them up. idk what his problem is but he needs to grow up stop lying and putting blame on me for everything. my youngest said you said to trust daddy but how can I when he never got me my costume you did and he didnt come and was sad and she cried too my oldest fell asleep crying.) I cant deal with this anymore its bull crap. not to mention my kids were telling me how his mother talks so much trash about me behind my back. (my youngest told me she told his mother that my mom couldnt buy me a present and she started laughing(that was uncalled for and mean and rude, even my kids didnt like it even my husband didnt like it and told her to watch what she said, and she said something like sorry I didnt understand. shes full of crap.) so well im over here trying to do my things working and stuff he dared to send me a text saying that i’ve been trying to see the girls for a few days now, its not fair I need to see them to. really? wtf I never took the kids away from him or anything however I left the kids here one day so he could come to see them for that stupid text he left(I dont like leaving them with his mother as all she does is talk shit about me saying things like:all she didnt leave them anything to eat now I have to get them something to eat or telling her brother that shes the only one paying rent here when all she pays id $43.00. can you believe that shit, theres a lot of reasons why I need to get out of here as you can see why.) I hope I can fine a place soon. anyways I never bother anyone nor try to be in others business and stuff but apparently my husband and his mother try to be in my shit idk why. so anyways my oldest told me my husband asked her the other day if I was over him and she said, yes shes been over you a long time ago,(I was happy she said that) then he said ok good, then she said he asked if I had a boyfriend? (really wtf?) and she said maybe she does maybe she doesnt(I was happy she said that too, what I do is none of their freaking business wtf? why does he care hes still taking divorce classes and shit to divorce me so wtf? they always find a reason to talk bad about me behind my back.) anyways so my oldest told me that him and his mother think I have a boyfriend lol really,wtf? so then I asked her about when he went on my laptop and she said it was after she told him that. umm he has no right to go on my laptop hes no longer with me to just come in my room as he pleases. to use it for his stupidity or checking on me whatever it was he was doing. so my oldest said she didnt trust him and came to check on him when he said I’ll be back im going to the bathroom and came to go on my laptop. wtf? ugh. and then he sent those stupid text to my oldest yesterday about blaming me or something like that. wtf all im doing is trying to work better myself and doing things for me and my kids and I keep being talked about and stuff. why is he acting this way? why is all this happening? im so confused and all anyone please tell me about his and his mothers behavior. I woke up missing him and crying some this morning but im so confused. anyways anyone? thanks
I think I would still like him back idk but why does everything keeps getting worse for me instead of better?
guys I feel really down today and now I feel out casted. I knew no one cared about me, but yet again no one ever has. im getting really depressed, thing being people say you have your kids but my kids care about my husband. I want him back or so I think. I just want this to go away I wish hed stopped everything. I bet everyone already knows hes divorcing me. 
its not my day today and the kids just wanna see him. they never like going to where i go so I cant go anywhere and I cant deal with my pain anymore
hey guys its been a while. so I wanted to say that its been this is week 2 and he hasnt given me the money hes suppose to give me so im putting him on child support. thing being he said he wasnt gonna give me anymore money and that I “had” enough for like 2 or 3 weeks can you believe that bs. anyways how do you work 2 jobs and dont have money, I feel hes giving money to the slut. but he owes me money. I have no contact with him at all so I may ask his mother to tell him he owes me money cant wait to put him on child support will get my money and wont have to deal with him anymore. supposedly he was gonna give me money this week however I have yet to hear anything. anyways so im pissed off about that. anyways he came the other day and spend like 2 hours or so here with the kids, I stood in my room and he stood downstairs regardless it felt uncomfortable but whatever. he made eggs and never offer me any. which by the way were ones I bought with my money. he offered himself the kids and his mother, how nice him and his mother ate my food. he thinks hes still with me or something idk what the hell is in his head but he cant eat my food like that or come here like he lives here wtf. really. anyways I need to get out of here asap ugh and im not finding anywhere to stay. I feel so happy working going to church and keeping busy doing different things. I was looking at his texts and picture and it still hurts me so much. I swear im not looking for that slut but if I happen to run into her on the street its a different story and I feel like I wont be able to contain myself and will whoop her ass if I see her. idk I hope I dont run into her because I could only be civil for so long and im not going to jail for that slut. anyways I have great news. I think im signing the divorce papers and will try to agree on something with this idiot. im moving on and keep praying to forget about him and for me to be able to move on. however I got even better news. 
im moving on and am going to start seeing this guy that wants to get to know me. so…what do you guys think? I feel happy and proud of me already, it will take time but I will be happy one way or another. I feel excited and I cant wait to start a new chapter in my life. hopefully with this guy if not whoever. let me know what ya think? thanks guys.
So happy to hear that you are doing better!! Keep it up
thanks cassie its good to hear from you. hows everything going with you? btw i’ll keep ya updated as well.
Everything is going okay for me right now, still seeing and talking to my ex so hopefully i have a chance of getting him back.