Me and my ex dated for almost a year (we made it till 10 days before). We broke up about 2 weeks ago cause I had found out some stuff I didn’t know about. At around our 6 months we had been arguing and stuff and some things happened and she told this guy we was having trouble and stuff and he had convinced her in 2 days to come “get away” with him. So she did. She left after school with him and went to his house and “fooled around”. From what I’ve been told and she’s said she left 20 mins after she got there because she knew it was horribly wrong. The thing is though I didn’t find this stuff out till a couple of weeks ago. She had been telling me all that happened was he kissed her out of no where. When in reality, she was doing the “work” if you know what I mean. So of course, when I found out I went off and yelled and screamed and said I was done with her. Honestly, being the guy I am, I would have sadly probably forgave her if she would have told me then. As of now, I had been on a week of No Contact with her until she called me yesterday. I had posted a tweet about something that didn’t really invole her or was even directed towards her, but she thought it was. It was about talking to another guy so soon after a break up and how I didn’t know how anyone could do that. I soon found out that she had been talking to another guy. So she called and told me how much she hated me and never wanted to see me again. She told me to block her on everything (but I didnt). I really can see a future with her but I don’t know if she does anymore. I’m really confused and will take all the help I can get. I think she learned when the cheating happened that it was very bad, and I believe she won’t do it anymore. I have enough faith for that, I just need to know what I need to do. Restart no contact? Lengthen it? If I need to lengthen it, how long? And what if she starts dating a new guy for sure?
Anyone??
I broke no contact last night because I thought something was wrong with her… Like something bad. How bad am I screwed now? Someone please reply to my story… I need help…
I think the way she’s acting, and how she hid the cheating, and is now acting like this towards you, even though youre the one with the right to be mad, not her, shes not worth it. i personally think you should move on. but if you really want to try again, you need to start and commit to NC, no matter how hard it is.
Well the way I see it, she wants to be the victim and she seems to be really mad. If you really want her and if you are sure that if one day you guys go back the whole cheating on you wont affect you at all then you should do the NC. I think you should give it a month? But during this time you should not contact her whatsoever. Just act normal.
It sounds like she wasn’t that interested. I was recently dumped… A very hard breakup for me and her. Now I’m trying to win her back and it’s not an easy thing to do. Especially knowing it may never happen. No contact rules or all the advice can’t change someone’s heart… I see my ex every weekend for several hours, we both laugh and talk the whole time. We barley talk during the week though. Maybe try something like that. Everyone says no contact is best. But if you can manage to stay in her life and show her you can be everything she wants from a partner… Without being clingy and lovie dovie while keeping your distance and having your own life you’re happy in… It can do a lot of good to change her perspective of you.
but in your case, that could leave you high and dry. going on only what I’ve read… If you found someone tomorrow and made her think you’ve completely lost any feelings for her. She will most likely start coming back to You with regret. That’s what I’ve seen In my experience.
Though, you should find someone else. You’ll be ecstatic for now if you got her back. But you Would only end up here again. If not worse. Think about if it’s really worth it. If so… Take it easy, accept it may never work, and keep NC while you find a way past your feelings for her… And she may just come back sooner than later. She’s thinking about you too most likely.
It’s not as much as I don’t believe she ever cared, because if she didn’t she would have ended it long ago, but I think that she just needs time to find herself and stuff. I’m not going to wait for her to come back, though, because she may not. But from what I hear from her and her friends is that she’s really not trying to talk to anyone. She’s just being friendly. So I have a little hope that she’s working on herself, maybe not just for me, If me at all, but she’s doing something. I believe in my heart she knew it was wrong to cheat and never thought about it again. She had in her mind we was breaking up but that’s still no excuse. I’m just going to continue with no contact for a month longer and maybe even a little more than a month. It’s not that I’m afraid I won’t get her back, it’s im afraid she just might not think she could. I can and will forgive her, but I can’t unless she gives me the chance to show her I’m a changed person and that I’m willing to start new with 0 mistakes in between.
And maybe this is another big factor to know about the story. I, myself, am 18 and 6 months. She is 16 and 9 months. Maybe be a VERY big change in the vision of these events or maybe none at all.
Yeah, I think thats what I’m going to do. Maybe in this amount of time, since it will be longer than a month all together, I may find I don’t want her back because I can’t forgive her. Or maybe she’ll find someone else. None the less, I’m going for the 1 solid month of No Contact.