Her birthday is in two days! Don\'t know what to do!! HELP!!

no-contact-rule
1

Hi
Here’s my problem with the no contact rule for 30 days. My girlfriend broke up with me and I have done the exact opposite of the no contact rule. However the last conversation I had with my ex was threw text and it was on about a week ago. It didn’t go well at all. I was the one who contacted her. Long story short everything after reading what to do vs not to do I now see there is hope for getting my ex girlfriend back.

This being said there is a HUGE problem I have come across. Her birthday is in two days. Now I know my ex and she unlike me is really big on her birthday so she tells me. I haven’t spent a birthday with her yet cause we didn’t know each other. So my point to this is the last text we had about a week ago I went real heavy about how her birthday is coming up and that it would have been nice to celebrate with her and that I miss her and love her etc… But then I reminded her on what she said to me about how she doesn’t want to see me talk to me so I said since you said that I guess I might as well wish you a happy birthday now since this will be the LAST time I talk to you or attempt to contact you cause you don’t want me to so I’m gooing to respect your wishes as hard it will be for me to NOT contact you on your birthday. So happy early birthday I hope you enjoy it and I really wise I could have taken you out to celebrate it with you to your favorite restaurant. But I made I promise to you NEVER to lie to you again so I’m going to keep it. So unless you contact me I will hold true and NOT contact you. I know in the past I have broken my promises but moving forward unless I hear from you saying I can contact you on your birthday even if it’s just to wish you a very happy birthday and nothing more. You will not be hearing from me on your birthday. So let me know if it’s okay to contact you?
Her response to me was quick and hit hard for me she said GOODBYE!

Then me being the idiot I am I IMMEDIATLY responded back once again going into detail saying why did you respond with goodbye? I just told you to contact me only if you wanted to here from me? I’m trying to respect your wishes and not bother you but by you responding with goodbye how am I not supposed to respond back to you!!
Well Kevin didn’t know it at the time but BIG HUGE STUPID MISTAKE EVEN RESPONDING AFTER SHE SAID GOODBYE TO ME AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS I SAID AS WELL!!

But here’s the problem I’m having now and I don’t know what to do say feel react etc… After she said goodbye to me she never responded back to the last text I sent her and I HAVE not contacted her and she has not attempted to contact me. However I know my ex if I DONT contact her in two days for her birthday she will flip out and most likely will contact me saying something like. You are the biggest asshole in the world you know how I love my birthday cause I told you several times and don’t even try to say I needed to contact you etc… It’s not the point only proves you don’t listen or care enough about me. This isn’t the first time cause I told you other things/dates that past about my grandmother that passed and how she waited until a couple of days after then she passed away and you didn’t remember or didn’t care enough to listen!! You are selfish!
So that’s how it can go if I DONT contact her for her birthday in two days.
Or only cause I know her. She can flip it on me if I do contact her by saying this.
I thought you said you weren’t going to contact me on my birthday unless I gave you the okay? Well I never contacted you to say it was okay and you decided to go and contact me anyway!! Even after you made that whole long text message about not contacting me unless I said it was okay! ONCE AGAIN YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE YOU LIED TO ME AGAIN! Thanks but no thanks for the birthday wish! I’m doing great I have moved on and I’m so much more happier without you!! Don’t contact me ever again YOU LYING, SELFISH PERSON!!! GOODBYE!!

So ya I need help like ASAP as to what I need to do cause as it stands right now cause I know her those are the two outcomes I see coming!

So please if you can help me or respond back ASAP I’m running out of time as to what to say or not to say or do. I love this women and I’m going out of my mind as to what to do. Any advice you have to help me I would greatly apriciate it. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read my message and I hope and look foward to a responses soon.

Thanks,

Chad

2

when my ex broke up with me, i went NC and lasted like ¸15 days… and then again another NC until hi birthday. I couldnt ignore that day and i send him a text; I wish you all the best and good :)" and he actually responded with a thank you, first time after break up and last time until 10 days ago. Now I am talking to him everyday in life driving to work with him. im happy.

However, I suggest if you do write her, just wish her all good and best wishes. and thats it. if she answeres, dont answer her anymore and dont wite her for a month. my ex needed three months after break up to talk to me a bit. really NC does help so keep it up. just say HBD and that’s it

3

Umm. I would say not to wish her. You already wished her and she was so rude. You made a promise to her so keep it. Also, you would look clingy if you text her even after she said that goodbye. Let it be. If she ll be possed after getting no text from you, it will prove that she was waiting for you to contact. However, if that happens, i would suggest you to remain in nc and show her you are strong and can live without her. Work on yourself and dont focus on her.

4

Do not send her a happy bday text. She will of course be expecting it and will probably find herself upset when she doesn’t get one. Hence the main point of NC - give them time to realize they miss you. If she knows you are still there it is easier for her to push you away and send you texts like “goodbye”. She doesn’t really expect you to leave, and she probably doesn’t want you to. Stay strong. Focus on you. :slight_smile: you got this

5

if you desperately want to, even though you really shouldnt, wish her happy birthday, dont go any deeper or say anything about you two together or the breakup. just happy birthday, hope you have a great day, and whether she texts back or not, DO NOT text her again. and dont let her know youre starting no contact! that defeats the purpose of it! she has to wonder why the heck you arent contacting her!