I think I messed up the no contact with an ex after break up to have them back rule.
Is it still possible to fix it if we broke up 7 days ago and now we’re talking but only for 2 weeks to try and fix things? He’s cold and distant but is willing to try. I think I messed up by begging him for it and I fear I wont have him back
We were fine during this month after we made up after a huge fight in May 30, we even went on dates and was healthily communicating till he just ended our relationship on a random sunday. He said he was afraid that the cycle will repeat and the arguments will return or I’ll be the one leaving him.
We went no contact for 2 days then I got a little emotional and begged him last night for one last chance and he did but for 2 weeks.
He also claims to have lost feeling despite us being loving the whole month and he’s being in his “I dont deserve love and you deserve more phase”
Please, I really messed up for starting random fights with him but our relationship was beautiful and I don’t want 2 years of our relationship to end just like that. Sure, we had dumb arguments that i sometimes start but it was the typical, “will yo still love me if i was blank”. He’s currently a civil engineering student and is being pressured by his family and he said thats also a huge part of the break up because he thinks he couldn’t love me or give me the time and love I deserve.
Mae, he is most likely right that the cycle will repeat again. The truth is, changing communication habits take a lot of effort and intention.
What if he gets comfortable in a relationship, invests a few more years into it, and then these fights start again?
I highly recommend you tell him that you both should take a “break” of a couple of weeks and then get back in touch. During that time, don’t reach out to him. If he reaches out, talk to him but don’t ignore him.
And during this time, work on yourself and your communication skills. I highly recommend the book Non-Violent Communications by Marshal B. Rosenberg. If you want, you can get an audio version and listen to it. It can be a great start to learning to communicate better.
I’ve shared a case study where a “break” helped one of my readers get back together in this article.
OMG, I was the same. I started so many random fights with him. One time, he was just being a little off and I just convinced myself that he was cheating on me. I don’t know why I did that.
I am giving him space and hope that he will return. How are things with him now? Is he still cold and distant?
