Okay, I just got out of the best relationship I ever was in. 3 months long but the best by far. We went through the holidays and she even gave my mom and dad and sister a framed photo of us at christmas. I had built her a nice tv stand at christmas but did not get a chance to paint it until after the new year. She had got a new job as well and will be moving. Here is what happened and this might not make sense to people who are not christian but I need advice. I went to a very conservative church with strong belifs. I allowed that to get between us. I gave her some information at the advice of a close friend which highly offended one of her belifes. It was about a week after that that everything went south. SHe told me 3 weeks ago that she was at peace and did not see us moving forward. I was heart broken. I realized I was wrong and made some positve changes. I went 8 days of no contact. I saw she got back on the dating site we met. After 8 days I sent her one msg on facebook that said your table is ready, and pray for my grandma who was sick. She simply replied praying for you grandma. 3 days later I broke down and wrote her a apology msg. She wrote back and said she forgives me but it will take time for her to heal from somethings that were said. I broke down on that friday and sent her one snap chat that was funny. I then broke down on saturday night and wrote her a second message and said I would like to follow up, and asked if she would be willing to talk. No response. I was suffering from anxiety bad. So I broke down and mailed her a 2 1/2 page letter. She got it yesterday and wrote back tthe following: " I got your letter today and quite frankly, I’m upset about that. You say you want to respect me and you know I dont want to communicate yet you keep talking to me anyways. Kevin, I really wanted us to be able to be friends, but your consistent pushing and lack or respect for what I wanted made things so much worse. I am thankful for the 3 months we had together, but we are over. We are not getting back together. I didnt move fast in the relationship, however your comments about engagement were. Also, to me The promise was broke when I didnt have the table weeks after Christmas, it showed where our priorities were. I know you dont want to hear that, but I dont want the table. Like I said, I honestly do forgive you for all the things said and I am so glad you have made these changes and are experiencing true worship, that makes me really happy for you. I’m sorry we didnt work out, but I wish you the best." I wrote back “I felt I had to mail the letter as I could not live with all that on my mind. I want to remain friends but I’ve pushed you away. ? For that Im truly sorry.I should have just worked on myself and reached out down the road. Please accept my apologies.” She has not blocked me on facebook yet. I’m afraid its beyond repair. Does anyone have any suggestions. I’m 34 and shes 27 if any of this matters. I’m also her first relationship and she told me she still loved me and cared for me when she broke up with me. Please help.
@keh23 My gosh, you need to stop contacting her! Apparently she asked for space and you didn’t respect that request. Sorry to say, but her message sounds final. If you go no contact, it might give her time to reflect on the pros and cons of being with you.
Okay, so you wrote a 2 1/2 page letter and surely told her everything that was on your mind, so at this point, there’s nothing more you can say. Go no contact and keep it!
Since I posted this she’s blocked me on everthing possible and unfriended my family, and my friends, and her sister unfriended me. Her mom and brotherr have yet to. That being said, I am going no contact. It seems hopeless? I want to apologize for how I handled the breakup. I was thinking of waiting 30 days or so then having a friend text her I am sorry? I hate to push someone away who I loved, and could have still be friends with who meant so much to me.
@keh23 Do not have a friend text her with an apology in how you handled the breakup! Getting friends involved is not a good idea. You’ve already apologized so don’t repeat yourself…
What did you talk to her about regarding the church teachings that offended her?
Sometime during a short relationship of only 3 months, you were talking with her about engagement. Who does that?
It’s obvious to me that you don’t want to be just casual friends and I’m sure she knows it too. So trying to play the friend role won’t work. It reeks of a veiled attempt to get her back as a girlfriend.
If you are to have the slightest chance, you have do no contact unless she initiates a contact stating she wants to try reconciliation. In the mean time, try to move on the best you can and never ever consider engagement or marriage until you’ve dated someone for a year. Two people have to get to know each other a lot better… their needs and desires… their common interests… whether or not they always interact with each in kind respectful ways… how they handle difficult situations… their common beliefs and moral values… etc etc etc.