My ex and I were together for almost 1.4 years, he broke up with me on Valentine.
We’ve been very close and our relationship seemed perfect, we always imagined our future life together and he said that I’m the one for him. I’m his first relationship and he is my second relationship.
Through our relationship we had from time to time some arguments or disagreements but we always solved and overcame our issues.
The last few weeks we had a few arguments that grow until we had a big fight (I hurt him and said things I didn’t mean to), the same day we made up and talked about it but the next few days we talked on the phone and he still seemed very cold to me. I asked about it and he told me that he can’t handle these fights anymore and that his worried about the future.
After a few days he told me on the phone that he made up his mind and wants to break up with me, I was shocked and tried to convince him to stay together but he said that he just wants us to stay friends.
(2 weeks before that we celebrated my birthday together, he wrote me that I’m his happiness and he hopes that we shall stay together forever and was really sweet).
We haven’t spoke for about 2 weeks but I couldn’t keep the NC rule (forgive me >_<) so I kept messaging him from time to time and after another week I called him. we talked for a while and after a few days I called him again, because the conversation was going good I asked him If he wants to meet so we can catch up and he said that he wants to meet but as friends and said that he wouldn’t want us to get hurt and I told him that I’d like to meet him as a friend.
When he first saw me on our meeting he smiled and I’ve tried to act cool.
We were sitting in our favorite coffee shop, we talked and laughed and he even insist to pay for my meal as well.
After this he walked me to the bus station and said that he was having fun.
He seemed friendly but no more than that.
We haven’t spoken ever since, 5 days have past and I’m thinking that maybe I rushed things too soon, should I start the NC rule from the start? I don’t know what to do…
Hi Oshi, that’s tough. I’m kind of in a similar situation but my guy won’t really talk to me and is so cold. Guys seem to break away when there’s conflict. It’s like they can’t handle fights so it’s easy for them to give up. It’s great that he met you. I’d give it sometime. Maybe in another week you can contact him? But what do I know? Clearly he still loves you if he’d spend his time with you. Obviously, he wanted to see you too. Sounds almost like he’s setting the boundaries but slowly will come back. Keep trying, after all, what do you have to lose?
Thanks! You’re right I guess it’s a good sign if he’s willing to meet me in person
Also when I called or texted him he always answered back, I know that I hurt his feelings and he needs his time alone for now, but it’s so hard thinking that 2 weeks before that everything seemed great between us, I apologized for everything I did and told him that I made a mistake (our fights mostly happened because of my insecurities and jealousy) so I’m afraid that he might give up on us.
The fights that I had with my ex was off my insecurity as well. I asked twice if he was seeing someone else. He said no, but that was why he was no longer interested in seeing me anymore. He said I consistently ask (I only asked twice) or accuse him of being with someone else. That was the only reason he gave me as to why he ended. Sounds pretty lame to me. If you love someone, how could you let a fight be the end of the world? I guess some guys take it harder to some degree.
I agree with you! If you truly love someone a fight shouldn’t end the relationship like that, some guys are really sensitive when it comes to this and can be very stubborn after a fight, or maybe there’s more to this that we’re missing? I know for sure how much he loved me and cared for me and yes fights can destroy relationship over time but if most of the time you were happy together and you could feel his feelings for you then it shouldn’t end the relationship like that.
I guess that some guys just need some more time with themselves to understand their feelings and think about the situation.