My bf dumped me – I work in his restaurant!
I have been taking the shifts when he is not there
He dumped me despite telling me I was his only true love-- he was madly in love with me, wanted to marry me and saw my son as his own. He has 2 sons who have become part of my life. We never lived together but we were an item for 4 years. He said I am an amazing woman and he wished we were different but he has no wish to be a couple again. Recently he has been stressed opening another restaurant going through his divorce and not feeling very well. He works constantly. We shared so many interests and we were very close. He however now is as cold as ice. I have am afraid been very low and yes text too much. We sometimes have days where he comes into work when I am there. I dread it. So am trying the NC and am getting better at it (only day 3!! ha ha)
Any advice welcomed as I have to work in same place.
Any advice please x
Hi Penny, Sounds like a very difficult situation. Doesn’t seem like he has any time for a relationship right now. What were the major problems in the relationship? A divorce and opening a resteraunt were high-stress events in his life but that doesn’t mean he has to give up the woman he loves. Do you think he still is in love with you or did he fall out of love?
He is diagnosed with sociapath traits – I have googled this and know it means he is hard to get along with sometimes but I accepted this. He seems to be avoiding any contact anyway – I have not text him-- he text something about work for ordering but I only needed to respond with bare minimum and thanks. i think he prefers no contact. There were problems when he was going off from time to time and ending it with me… and me ending up thinking it was my fault. However we had started to get somewhere with this — or I thought we had. I am not sure since i am more aware of this condition he was feeling vulnerable me knowing all about it??? Not that I ever remarked on it… He said he is still in love with me-- said he always will be but cannot hurt me with his moods. I have been devastated and have tried to continue my shifts though I had a few shifts where the chef got annoyed with me as I struggled to handle the shifts and the orders. I just need someone else’s thoughts as I am going mad with it all, there was no real build up apart from him being quiet and overworked. I got a text one night to say it was over.
I’m going through something similar…my ex and I were about to get back together, he told he that he still loved me, he tried to replace me but he just wanted me and that he was sorry for what he did to me after we broke up. A week later he called us getting back together off and he hasn’t talked since. It bothers me. I know deep down he will come back and we will be together…I just don’t know what to do now. I just want him to talk to me…
I know how you feel — is he sociapath do you think??? apparently the guy I was with was-- but reading into it – he isn’t most of the traits only slightly on some. He’s very sensitive and very insecure I think-- but I am now thinking would I trust him not to dump me like this again – I have hurt so bad for so many weeks – even before I cam on here – for a month – endless texts with him ignoring me and some very cruel cold replies. I have no proof he is with anyone else - he said he was giving up the woman he loved so I could be happy without his problems – I have tried so hard to forget him – I am trying to do things everyday to fill my days with my sons… it isvery difficult - we have a festival theme day at work this next week and we will be working together — I am dreading it x Your ex sounds like he is in deep thought – he sounds like he might be trying to get his stuff together??? My ex doesn’t even say hello xx
work on my last shift he never even looked my way – I had my new hairstyle and tried to look good he never even said goodbye at the end of the day shift x
Maybe he’s just slightly bipolar? My ex kinda is. He used to be selfish and be a dick when he didn;t get his way. I made a better person, I made less selfish and he learned that he can’t always have his way. He was happy with me. We had the perfect relationship every dreamed about (not perfect perfect, but we had a lot of chemistry and liked the same things, we did have our fights though) when he called it off, he said he didn’t need a gf but a friend, and then monday he sent me a message on fb and said “this is why we have no future, you have no defense” and then I told he didn’t have to be such a dick and he said “ooh, heyy, looky there” I know deep down he will come back and he still wants me…I just don’t know what to do. I’ve had a terrible since he called it off
Yes maybe you are right – I have thought he could be— they seem the same— act like dicks then come running back------
Except this time he hasn’t come back – he has been totally ruthless and hard with me – he said it broke his heart but it was for the best and he won’t go back to being a couple. I was devastated and have done the endless why texts and also spent an hour outside work talking to him – we cuddled kissed and he said he would have married me -wanted us more than anything – but couldn’t do it anymore then walked off crying ans I was absolutely shattered. This was quite a few weeks ago now —
I think your ex does want you – he has messaged you – sent snap chats (we have never done this-- we did have endless messaging and texts) now it is as if we have never met – or this is how it feels to me – like I am now forgotten about – I even think he will have rejoiced that I have stopped messaging???
I hope your ex realises how much you love him and how much you care being there for him xxx
Well he just snapchatted me something as stupid as an axe…should I reply?
He is after attention obviously !!!
You should send something equally random ---- play with him xxxxxx
YOU ARE LUCKY he wants you to respond -------
xxxx
I thought it was kinda stupid to sedn…wasn’t it? And I just said “nice”
Yes he is toying with you
I am not sure how I would react to anything like that —
I have not contacted him. He has emailed table bookings over for me with no comments and that is it ----
I have a funny feeling he is drinking lots and going out a lot when he hasn’t got his kids — but he said he didn’t want to know anymore about us.
Literally straight after saying he would always miss me and always love me -----
x
Is it bad that he is doing that to me? I thought it was good that he sent me something stupid like that
I would say it is a good thing ----
if it was me ------ well I am wary at the mo – but I would be pleased
You need to test the water with him without losing the control of the situation
Keep him at a distance – he needs to work x
So have fun with it and enjoy xx
What do you him at a distance? I want him to send me more stupid things
He will x
I said "nice’ to the thing he sent me last yesterday. he didn’t reply. I know it has to be good for him to send me something as stupid and random as an axe lol
Has anything happened to you lately? I need some advice