My boyfriend of 3 years (he is 25) broke up with me last week. Didn’t see it coming at all. He said his feelings had curtailed the last 2 or 3 months and then when he had time to think about it over the Christmas holidays, he realized he didn’t see me in his future. I’ve been a mess ever since. We had no major issues, never really fought. He loved my family and I loved his. We were quite integrated into each other’s lives. And we loved each other. When he broke up with me he told me he still loves me even though he doesn’t see a future with me. My heart is broken and I haven’t slept nor eaten in the last week. We had a call last night and I asked him does he think the decision was a mistake. He said he needed time, whether that be weeks or months, to figure out what he really wanted in life. He is a very outgoing guy, but I suppose his self confidence wasn’t very high. Is there any chance for us? Can you change someone’s feelings for you if they don’t see a future with you?
@elle n I know you must be heartbroken! Don’t contact him and don’t try to change his mind!! He seems confused right now and needs time to sort out his own feelings without you trying to change them…
Please take care of yourself. You need food and sleep! Depriving yourself won’t help the situation…
PS: Yes, there might be a chance for reconciliation if there weren’t any serious issues during the relationship.
When should I get in contact with him again? And what approach should I use to get him back? I am going to go back to yoga classes etc to improve myself. Is there a way to get him to see me as a potential again?
@ellen You had 3 years for him to see you as a potential. More recently his feelings for you dwindled and he doesn’t see a future with you.
Did he ever tell you there were problematic issues during the relationship or give more detail as to why he broke up with you? You mention Yoga; did you gain weight or stress out/anxiety when you were together?
There is no approach to get someone back if they don’t want a relationship. Sometimes couples part ways and then talk about what went wrong and ways to repair the damage, but both have to be willing to try!
He said he needs time. I think you should honor his request and not contact him for at least a month or more…