I’ve been doing NC for 4 days now and we broke up just under 3 weeks ago. We had a very open and emotional talk about us before I started NC and I’m just a little confused about our situation.
He broke up with me because we barely see each other due to his career. It will get worse because he now needs to do more. I understand why he’s doing it because he’s really unhappy so I do want him to work on himself, I just don’t agree that this is the only way. He does say he still loves me and is having such a hard time but he feels like it won’t be a real relationship if we were to try. When we ended the conversation I said I need space for myself and I told him to reach out if he needed to talk. I said this because I’ve been the one to reach out.
I’m just super confused and sad. I don’t understand how you can date someone for 1 year and then not want to continue to talk to them… I know he needs to work on himself but it just seems like he’s fine with his decision and doesn’t miss me. I want to reach out all the time… so how does he not want that? Please help me understand what’s going on!
@mp2016 - A man always wants to make a girlfriend happy and if he feels he can’t do that for some reason, it makes him feel very badly even if the time constraint is not his own doing, and yet he realizes his career is one of the most important things in his life. If you voiced your sadness about the situation, it made him feel even worse because he knows he can’t change the circumstances. He already explained his thoughts, so obviously he doesn’t feel the need to discuss it any further. Getting back on track with his career is his priority right now!
You’re the one who asked for space, so why are you confused?
I’m just confused as to why he has no desire to contact me. We were happy before and I’m here stressing and sad and all I want to do is reach out. I asked for space as I’ve been the one who’s talked to him. Just want to understand a little more as to what he’s thinking or some advice… this is extremely hard for me!
@mp2016 - He doesn’t contact you because he already said everything he wanted to say. I’m so sorry you’re sad and stressed, but if you keep dwelling on past good times, it will make you much sadder. He needs space right now, so don’t contact him for at least a month and work on yourself in any way you think might have contributed to his wanting a break up. Then reach out casually to ask how he’s doing. No one can read minds, so we don’t know what he’s thinking. You can only go by what he said and that’s it. He wants to focus and work on his career. But you did mention he was unhappy and needs to work on himself. What does that mean?
Ya you are right. I’m just worried he’ll be just fine without me. I hope this gets much easier quickly! Its so tough going from speaking to him for 1 year everyday to not be allowed to… it’s killing me… I guess only time will tell
@mp2016 - I understand going from speaking everyday to no contact is extremely difficult and sad, but it will get better for you over time. Don’t worry, he won’t ever forget you, but he has to be fine without you for now so he can focus on his career and any changes he might have to make. Take it one day at a time and do the best you can to take care of yourself and do things that make you happy:)
Ladies, Im gonna tell you something you already know. Us guys are dumb! We take a little bit longer at times for us to realize the things we had. Even more so if we are at a busier period in our lives. Continue to stay the course. Don’t contact him!! Don’t look him up or try to see him on Social Media. You might see something that is completely innocent, but our minds will spin it in to the worst possible scenario and we will lose ourselves. He will either eventually reach out or you will after NC. But even then play it extremely cool. I have been on the opposite side of this a few times. I hate to say this but I feel like the step after NC is the hardest. You want to fall right back in to when things were great and hope that he sees that. He will. It might not be for a few weeks. At one point I was such good friends with the girl I eventually got back together with and moved in with that we would travel together and stay in the same room, but different beds and never physical. At some point I got word that she was starting to hang out with another guy and I got extremely jealous, and realized that I was about to lose my best friend that on a drive home from a small vacation with friends I poured my heart out to her. She didn’t give in 100% at first, I still worked for it. We later broke up, but thats besides the point. It took the thought of losing her to get me to act. Best of luck to you! keep us posted.
As far as the whole “follow”, “unfollow” thing on IG or Facebook I will have to say that I just did it and unfollowed the girl I care about, and when I did I forgot I had done it and when I went to make sure I did unfollow her, I accidentally “followed” her again, then quickly unfollowed. However she is se to Private and got a message asking to accept the Follow, then saw I unfollowed. I then noticed a few hours later that she unfollowed me. I get it that the social Media thing is childish. But I just don’t want to see her doing ANYTHING and having my mind go to worst case scenario that she is over me and has moved on.
Now, if you get the chance will you read my story under the Reconciliation part of the board Titled "Help for a possible “rebound-ie”.
I will continue to offer my two cents here. Thanks