I think you’re doing great.
Play everything cool and take it slow.
Hi Scotch, Im very happy everything its progressing. I applaud you for standing up for love. She said somethings but you saw love in her eyes and persevere to win her back. I really believe she loves you. Slowly but sure you guys will end up together. Can’t wait to see the next update.
I know I’m overreacting but it seems like right after I made this post she flipped a switch and is hardly talking. Like we were mid conversation. Oh well. Funny how 72hours seems like an eternity. She’s busy and stressed with work. Im trying not to bug her. I texted her a picture of ssome food I made and she asked where hers was, so I ended up dropping some off for her. That counts for something. 
So I’ll give it another day. Thanks for the responses guys.
She said she didn’t want to lead you on and she doesn’t want to get back together with you. You think she seems unsure because of her son. How old is he? I’m sure they both miss you, but that doesn’t mean she wants to reconcile. Don’t try to rationalize everything she says or does as an indication that she wants to reunite. Optimism is good, but stay objective and look at things in a realistic fashion.
Texting so much won’t build up her attraction for you, but trying to resolve the issues you had might. Wishing you luck and keep us posted:)
Scotch, you sound super sweet. Don’t get discouraged by her actions. I know women. I am one, and sometimes we say things and we really mean others. We are very complicated. You know her more than us. I think you are doing a great job at showing her your love. Another man would just run away and meet other women. She sounds like a very sweet lady too, and worth fighting for. I really hope you guys can be together again, because you sound perfect for eachother.
Patricia said some interesting things but thats her point of view. I do believe that texting everyday has to stop. When you text everyday you tend to get used to it, and when she doesn’t text you miss those msgs alot. Its not doing you any favor. To feel miserable like that. Wishing you good luck. (; update us.
Thanks guys. Will try to update after work.
Big stories and updates asside, I spent more time with her. But something seemed a little different. There was a bottle of an alcohol she doesnt drink, in the kitchen. She ignored a phone call that morning and was careful that I didn’t see her phone. She has texted me less and less, and isn’t online as much. She asked when Id be off work to meet up, but then cancelled shortly after.
Tonight I see her car overnight at a guys house. (I was at a friend’s two houses down, and walked by on my way home.) He has, or had, a gf and kids so I’m not sure what’s going on but am assuming the worst. There’s no other real explanation for her being there at 3am. I know he texted and flirted with her at least once while she and I were together, and know he has cheated on his gf. But to my knowledge she never responded to it. Though she did spend time helping him sign up for a program though her work.
I realize I thought I was healed, but all this hurting… Since I seemed to be making good progress with the plan, I had my hopes up. Im not going to over react or bring it up to her. And the best thing that I can probably do is initiate a second full no contact. Possibly for longer as Patricia suggested. And all I can do is hope this isnt what it seems, or hope its a failed rebound.
I still love her with all my heart. I feel horrible.
I want to just ask her, but should I? Maybe say it feels like shes getting more distant and just ask if shes seeing someone? Is knowing ultimately going to make me feel any better?
If shes with someone, do I still say she and i “cant just be friends” and drop contact, or would that now make me look immature and push her closer to him?
Im very sorry Scotch. You definitely need a second round of NC. In that time maybe that rebound fails idk. With time now you will see whats next. An ex with another man will push you to move on. Our exes just takes us back to square one when they really want to. Thats why trying to win them back it’s a long process and very hard. I wish you the best on these next months. And do not get a rebound just to make her jelouse. Do not tell her anything. You will look like her needy ex. And will push her away.
Thank you leidy.
I can’t sleep. 
I had to do it. I went back this morning and watched her leave the house. Im initiating no contact now.
Scotch Im here for you. I imagine that hurts so bad, but you know that you have to endure it. That pain its only temporary. It is just like losing somebody. In about three months you will accept the death and learn to live with it. Find ways to cope with your pain. Good luck. You can always contact me for a talk. My email is [email protected]
Found our more info from a friend. Shes basically been stringing me along while also with this guy who was cheating on his gf with her. His gf and the kids moved out and now she’s up there. I thought so much better of her. Unfriended her on facebook, deleted our call/text log, and changed the name on her #.
This guy is a dirtbag. It wont last. But im not going to hurt myself anymore, persuing her.
OMG! Im very sorry. If she was stringing you along, she is not a very good future gf. I don’t think that you deserve that type of woman. You deserve better. Take this time to build up your self esteem. Just know people can make mistakes. Forgive and live your life. Let her do what she pleases to do.
I know you must be heartbroken! It would be best to focus on yourself for now and try not to dwell on her moving in with someone else. I had mentioned earlier about your ability to support a family and wonder if you’ve taken a stable job where you have a steady paycheck coming in. What about your education or job skills?
Absolute no contact is the way to go for now. She might reach out in the future, but don’t get your hopes up too high. Don’t obsess about her and concentrate on your own life. Best wishes…
I should clarify, she didn’t actually move in. Just spending all her time there. Im almost positive it will be a flash in the pan rebound for both of them. I just cant believe she would involve herself in that sort of thing with that sort of person. He was unfaithful and abusive to his last girlfriend, and she knows this! I feel this huge pit of empty rotteness in my stomach. Patricia, you were right to point out that she probably meant it when she thought I would accept just being friends while at the same time acting more than just friends. Last night they drove by me and she waved, while he looked away. I just shook my head “No” which made her do a double take. We passed eachother again driving today and she smiled and waved again. This time I did a subtle half wave. I dont want to be rude, and should be friendly, but im just having a really hard time wanting to show any acceptance or approval.
The job, I think I mentioned I took on another job as soon as it became available. Winters are extremely slow here in alaska. I now have a full time job during the school year, which compliments and will help grow my budding commercial fishing in the summer. I was making all the right moves to improve my situation, and had been before we split. It was just a matter of timing.
You’re correct; no need to be rude, but continue absolutely no contact. If you see her pass by again, you could pretend not to see her. Of course you shouldn’t show approval for what she’s doing. If you get into a situation where she talks with you, don’t downgrade the other guy and don’t tell her she shouldn’t be with him. Just casual conversation to see how she’s doing and end it quick. Don’t go over to her place while she’s still involved with the other guy! Maybe this guy gives her lots of compliments and is very affectionate. Anyway, I wish you luck with your business!
Hi Scotch I back Patricia on her words. Shes right do not show approval. Don’t wave or whatever. When you see their car look away fast so she thinks you didnt see them. Keep up you No Contact. Which means not asking friends about her. I think the less you know the better. To me you sound like you turned into a stalker. Please do not stalk her. Don’t drive by their houses to check out which car is parked. You are hurting yourself more than you should.
You’re right. The last two days I did go out of my way to check on them. I already knew, and reconfirming they were together only makes it hurt more. I’m stopping that right away. It also puts me in a bad light
Last night I had a few drinks and sent her “goodbye. :(” and then deleted her # completely.
I made a subtle post on facebook that I was sad. Some of her extended family have an idea what’s going on and have been sending me messages of encouragement, and her cousin has been talking to me about things today, including sharing that before we split up, I had planned on proposing to her in a very special place, with a very special ring. Her cousin was in awe. Ive tried to be very non-objective, and fair about what I say. Im sure some of it will get back to my ex.
Today she drove by and smiled at me. I didn’t wave or really smile back. I just looked into her eyes. She just sent me a text saying she’s “sorry that im hurt. She understands. She noticed I had unfriended her on Facebook and that she also understands that.” And that she “only wishes the best for me, always.”
I haven’t responded and probably won’t just to keep up the No Contact.
Scotch you were doing so good. Following Kevins advices. I suggest you do the five steps again. Just never reach out to her. Let her come to her senses. Plus everyone knows you turned into a mess. Im very sorry foreal you sound really hurt. I have been there before. And I made lots of mistakes too, but I knew they weren’t worth it. I never got back because I never tried. This getting ex back its very new to me. I dont know what works, but I do know what doesn’t work. Beggin and looking like the victim. She responded just like I expected she would. She just felt sorry and wish you would move on.
June is your month. You will rebuild your self esteem and have confidence in yourself. You will be happy alone. Im rooting for you. I can’t wait to see an update of the new you. Best of luck!