I was 15 and he was 19 when we first met, it was almost love at first sight. We talked for the first 2 years until I went to college than we started dating. I was 18 and he was 22. We dated for 4 years and we were so in love. He asked me to marry him (I was 22 and he was 26), the day he was going to pick me up my parents got to my apartment first and moved me out of state. I never saw him anymore. It’s been 26 years since we’ve seen each other, it was destiny that someone shared my name and number with him one day (he and told the person I’ve been looking for this for number for 28 years). He texted me and it wasn’t till after a week I saw the text, I texted back. We started talking just like catching up. He is divorce with 3 children the youngest 11 but still living with his EX because of the child. People in the town say they are not a couple and he told me they are like roommates bc of his son. He does not want to move until 2 years, he says his son will be old enough to decide who he wants to live with and it will probably be him. I am married (21 yrs) with 3 children as well,however I wanted to get out of my marriage for at least the last 6 years but not strong enough. When my first love came into my life I shared situations my husband was doing and my first love adviced me and helped me get the strength to put my foot down and get out (he’s in the police department). I’m so thankful! My divorce will be finalized in 2 months. We talked for 4 months before actually seeing each other. We reunited and picked up where we left off 28 years ago. We had a great weekend! He told me he never stopped thinking of me, and named his daughter after me. He did ask why I did not stand up for him and went against my parents and waited for him. I apologized and said out of respect I did what they told me but that I was miserable and didn’t remember everything that happened. I could only apologize bc he said he was devestated/ heartbroken for the next 2 years drinking and not caring about anything. After our visit we kept talking 2 more months but than he said this relationship was not going to work bc I would always get upset bc of his living situation, jealously, I would tell him he was hurting me by not leaving his situation. I do understand that in a way I was wrong bc he now has to think what’s best for his child. My young child is 17 and joining th Marines soon. My first love did tell me in the beginning that the time was not right bc he could not leave his son, however we continued with the relationship. It got real serious soon and a couple of times I told him we needed to cool it bc nothing was going to happen until in 2 years. Long story short we have not talked or messaged for 22 days, I did send a Valentine’s message and he responded nice. It’s been 2 days after the text and no communication. 3 weeks ago I did tell him to not call or text me bc he was hurting me, so he hasn’t communicated, however in my Valentine’s message I said “ let’s keep in touch”. I just don’t understand what happened. He loved me so much, never forgot me, named daughter after me, found me and texted me, spent a weekend together and talked about how the future could be and than just like that stopped communication. Our texts messages and pictures were full of love. I’m certain there is nothing going on with EX, he and her hurt each other with words so much and she is completely a different person looks/common things than him. I am not jealous of her at all (looks) only that she lives under the same roof. I just don’t know what to do, how things changed when in our 20’s he loved me more and now I love him more. I’m 48 and he is 52 not getting any younger. What could be going on in his head? He had said timing is wrong but the love is there.
Please help anyone.
“I told him we needed to cool it bc nothing was going to happen until in 2 years”. He is keeping your request. If you loved him so much when your parents moved you out of state, you could have contacted him because you knew where he lived, but you didn’t.
Apparently he dated other women for a few years before his marriage and has dated others after his marriage fell apart so he has experienced the pros and cons of being with different women. Maybe he has determined you’re not the one for a long term relationship.
Since you feel hurt about his living arrangement and that’s not going to change for 2 years, could you wait it out and then try to resume interaction with him.
Also I’m assuming you’re still living in different states thereby making this a long distant situation which most men don’t like and have little gumption to maintain.