Finally got my answer

reconciliation
1

Hey, I’ve posted before but this will be the last thread I’ll be starting. My ex had kept me on a hook for a few months and had blown hot and cold with me, telling me she missed me followed by periods of blocking my number. The last time she told me she missed me was only three weeks ago.

Obviously this got my hopes up but yesterday she unblocked me, eventually she plucked up the courage to tell me she was seeing someone else. I had a feeling but as expected I felt a bit crushed. This had been going on for a while so was more than likely during the period she was missing me and conflicted about her feelings.

Now this could be a rebound, feel free to tell me if you think it sounds like one. But I realised I can’t do anything more. I didn’t beg for her back, I probably could have dealt with it slightly better as I showed a bit of anger but was mainly that I let myself get lead on for so long. However, looking at it now, even though the answer wasn’t the one I hoped for I finally got an answer. And that’s the worst bit about these situations, the not knowing.

This may be a rebound, she may well come back in a few months if it falls apart or it may be serious and I may never hear from her. But I’ve made the conscious decision to begin moving on, because she has. So anyone in a similar situation, please keep positive, you may not get the answer you want in the end but eventually it’ll feel like a huge weight has been lifted. If she comes back and I happen to be single then who knows, but I can’t put my life on hold just for hope, no matter how much you love that person, and don’t get me wrong, I still do. Don’t let someone else dictate your life, it’s hard but if I can do it so can any of you

2

My friend, a very similar situation has happened to me. unfortunately for the both of us, we arent with them, nor see them and therefore don’t know how they are thinking. But I know my ex is thinking of me, whether its in a negative or positive light.

It really doesn’t matter. It may very well be a rebound, it could end within the next couple of weeks, or in the next few months, maybe it will be a very successful relationship. You just don’t know. I would advise to get to the point where you can think with some composure and therefore look at whether or not you can work it out and whether or not it’s a good idea, then build yourself up. E. Hemingway said “There is nothing noble about being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self”. actively socialise and change. Don’t misconstrude what NC entails, you must change and must want to, either to win your ex back or to help with further relationships.

The social bit is as crucial as making change. If you socialise and even go out, speak to attractive people then you will bolster in confidence, you will also come to realise there are more than one “X” (Your ex’s name) and may even think that she’s not worth going back to.

My ex had got with some other guy about a week and a bit ago, I think it is doomed from the start, but I really don’t know that, but I feel like I can work it out with her, he will, of course object to my interaction, but hey, I want her and I will make my advances as not just me, not just me 2.0 but a true gentleman, I would treat him as my fellow man, but I am not going to let somebody I care about disappear from my life so easily. See that? It’s dedication, committment, confidence in my attitude. I have a long way to go, as you do. I highly recommend looking at other sources except this site. Above all, become confident and look at your faults and overcome them, and when it comes to contact, ALWAYS KEEP YOUR COOL.

If you want something, you will do everything to make it happen, but keep your momentum going, keep your life on track, and apart from your SO’s until you are truly committed, keep what you learned from this breakup for life. She may come back to you brother, but if you do want her just talk to her. you won’t make a monkeys difference if you say or do nothing.

3

I really appreciate the kind words. Helps to know someone has been through something similar.

Trust me I really wanted to fight for her when she told me. But that hasn’t worked before and doubt it would have worked this time round.

She went straight back to blocking me on her phone when she told me the news, so clearly wants nothing to do with me at this point.

I’ll be going back to what I was doing before this news and improving myself and going no contact with her.

I know now though that either way I’ll be fine. If this relationship, rebound or not, falls apart, I may be there or I may have moved on. With the block it’s totally up to her whether she chats to me or not.

The fact that she’s blocked me, hidden the relationship whilst telling me she misses me etc still gives me the impression that she cares about me and may well come back at some point. But I can’t put my life on hold for that hope. She’s made her choice at this minute, and eventually she’ll realise it’s the wrong one. Whether I’m in a position of wanting her back at that point, who knows

4

My Friend, it seems we are quite similar in many ways, however she hasn’t blocked me and before I spoke to her about her new relationship, she was under the impression I already knew. But alas I never did, hence I blew up. But we calmed down and she was apologising to me soon after it all.

Blocking you is just a silly way of dealing with it my friend, it only surpresses it, if you do want to pursue a life with her, by all means do so but don’t hinder your life in the process.

You have got to the point where people should be, a lot of people will think as soon as they feel confident they should message their ex straight away, however, I think it is more sensible to wait until you know you have thrived then give it a go.

it also goes to say that you must change, but at the same time she must as well, and mean it. else it will go back to a downward spiral. but if not, you have moved on and reflected on your bad traits and made them good. I made one mistake that caused the whole breakup and it was one incident, and I made the effort to make sure it won’t happen again, whether it is with her or not. Cool and confident is the way to go.

Wish you all the best my friend!