I met a guy from online dating and we hit it off immediately. We talked on the phone for over 3 hours at times, had a lot in common, were both physically attracted to each other, had great chemistry and connection. Our dates were wonderful with great conversation, hand holding and nights of passion. I’m a woman in my 40s, so I don’t get swept off my feet easily, but I did with him. Though, during our initial dates we shared past online dating experiences and I started to wonder if he used online dating for causal hook-ups (it’s how he made it sound). It didn’t seem like it between him and I, as he invested a lot of time into me. At one point we both agreed to delete our online dating accounts so to concentrate on each other. But, I still felt insecure because of stories he told me of past women, especially one particular that he was seeing just as him and I met. Two weeks today, a woman showed up on my facebook on the “people I may know” list, I clicked her profile to see if I knew her and noticed him and her were facebook friends and that he liked a majority of her pictures. I mentioned it to him and asked if there was anything going on, he got mad and said that it was over. He called me a *hit starter and said it won’t work out. I went on a text rant, trying to explain, trying to get him to talk on the phone, I told him it wasn’t what I wanted and we could resolve it if able to communicate. Admittedly, my texts got obsessive that afternoon in an attempt to try to resolve things and within a few hours he blocked me from everything.
I’m disappointed because I don’t meet a lot of men that I am this interested in, and at my age I am choosy to not waste my time, or theirs… but I really liked him. So my question, why do people block versus communicate… Is it an easy ‘get rid of the person’ and move on? Is there any hope after being blocked from everything? I’m embarrassed for my text rant that afternoon. Once he told me that he has had to block online dating women because they get mad at him for not being interested in them; so it sounded like blocking was common for him, but I thought I was more to him than the casual online dating experience.
It’s been two weeks today since he told me it was over and blocked me… It wasn’t a long term relationship, but one I thought could grow into one. Do you think that because we were newly dating that it’s easy for him to block and move on? I guess I’m wondering if there is any hope of him resurfacing to communicate properly, or did he dispose of me like all the others he boasted about.
It’s been two weeks since he ended it and blocked me on everything because I excessively texted him to try to resolve things. When we were dating we both deleted our online dating accounts to concentrate on eachother… Today I seen he’s back on online dating. I’m hurt because he didn’t give us a chance, he didn’t allow us time to communicate, he shut me down and blocked me and now back on online dating. Should I assume that I’ll never hear from him again?
I don’t know what a hit starter is, but sounds like you annoyed him by asking about the other woman so early in your relationship. You should have ignored it and just had fun on your dates. Then you further annoyed him by extreme texting and calling. You shouldn’t question a man like that unless you’re in an exclusive loving relationship. It sounds like you’ve done all you could to make amends, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. If someday he unblocks you and wants to discuss the matter in a reasonable way, you could go from there…
In the meantime, don’t stress too much and give it time.
Good luck
Hi, thank you for your reply. He called me a ‘shit starter’. I know it was too much too soon, I shouldn’t have questioned other women, or his facebook actions. I guess because he talked so detailed about his online dating/sexual experiences, it made me uncertain where we stood or what I was to him. I thought we were on the same page but really never knew. After making him mad with my untimely questions, my texts were begging for the opportunity to talk, I thought talking on the phone would resolve everything but he did’t allow it, instead he blocked me. He always said he didn’t have success with online dating, so my hope was that he’d give us a few minutes of conversation to try to resolve things, but instead he dumped me, blocked me and back on the dating site, so I guess it’s over. I hoped that the 30 day nc would remind him of the good times we had and the connection, things in common and chemistry but with him online dating, I’m sure I will soon be replaced. Now I’m trying to get past that I ruined it with regret on messing it up.
How long were you dating him? You mentioned it wasn’t long term. You can’t assume anything about being “on the same page” kind of thing until he asks to be exclusive. You were just dating. No contact is a practical idea as it will give him time to remember the good times he had with you and maybe consider talking. If you apologize, keep it short. If you get a chance to date him again, just have fun and don’t talk about his dating life or yours! Focus on each other and enjoy talking and doing things together and having a nice time. Again, don’t discuss Facebook, dating sites, etc. and don’t ask where you stand with him. Keep it casual and happy. Don’t fret about whether or not you ruined it or if you’ll be replaced.
Focus on taking care of yourself. Wishing the best for you, whatever that might be…