Ex slept with new girl

Breakup Help no-contact-rule
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Update time: Sorry it’s gonna be long…

Thank you to everyone that has supported me! I appreciate all the support Ive received here.

So yesterday my ex texted me at random after another 5 days of NC…
Asking how my job was, then a few min later said hope everything is going well. then about an hour later again saying “I really am hoping life is going well for you, its been a tough up here” I was at work which is why I didn’t respond right away. Then when I did respond… I said (paraphrased here…) “Im doing great thanks for asking, sorry I was at work. My job is going well, always busy. Something bzare happens everyday, haha. Sorry life isn’t treating you well ? Whats up with that? I’m here to talk about anything whenever”

And then he said hes having family issues. And then we talked a little and hes might be coming down in a few weeks to my city to help his brother move so if hes around he’ll let me know. And he said hes glad were not on bad terms and he wanted to give me space after everything happened.

Then I joked that “yeah, im glad we’re not on bad terms too, but everyone else around here hates him. haha.” And he said he knew that but he knew me better than to be hateful towards people. And then said he wants things to be better for us. After that we just talked for a while and caught up on life. And at the end as I was saying goodnight I said Id “talk to him another time, and goodnight ____.” And he said “Have fun. Talk another time. Goodnight ___”

Well today I was just gonna let things be, maybe wait a day or two. But I sent him a snapchat of his favorite casino slot machine I played tonight. Not expecting much more than a “Haha” type of response. He texted me instead…

He told me hes not seeing the other girl anymore and that he hasn’t for a while. And that hes been having a really rough time and he got into a dark place. But he finally is trying to focus on himself and improving himself.

And wow, I was shocked at first, I wasnt expecting anything from him let alone this text. He said he’s interested in talking again and seeing if there is anything left between us when he moves down to my city.

Im so happy, you have no idea guys. Its gonna be a slow process I know, but I think its gonna be worth it. I think being away from our old city and in this new one is going to be great for us.

Wow, guys… I just dont even know… I never in a million years though that he would ever come back.

Thanks again guys. I will of course keep updating as always. But I wanted to share the new news.

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omg leogirl Im so happy for you :smiley: Its gonna be slow proces but I think its a worth a try :slight_smile:

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and I have to say your story is really giving me hope for my situaction

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Im glad! Thanks so much! Seriously, if it wasnt for this forum… i would’ve gone mad. haha.

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Hey Ann

I can see so much hope in your story :slight_smile: It looks like you are dealing with a guy who is finally getting to realise what he wants from a relationship :slight_smile: I’m happy for you and sincerely hope things will work out. Keep posting!

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Things took a not so good turn lat night. We were having a nice conversation and then I said

Me: “enjoy talking to you”
Him:”Im enjoying it too. Just casual and taking things slow. A few things have progressed but we havent gotten too far.”
Me: “Yeah, I agree. The slow things is difficult for me sometimes. Haha. But a slong as its moving its a good thing”
Him: “I guarantee anything, but its moving in the right direction.”

This is where things turned weird.

Him: “Sorry, I didnt mean that in the wrong was. I think its progressing but just being slow and figuring out what exactly i want is what I am keeping in mind”
Me: “Thats good to know. Thank you. And I’ll keep that in mind I know you wouldnt be talking to me unless ou thought things were going well. Sometimes I do get scared though, but thats just natural.”
Him: “Scared about what?”
Me: “That Ill get hurt again lol. But I trust you and to hear you say things are progressing is a good thing to me.”

Him: “Thats why I am being careful about taking it slow. Because I dont think we have done anything to hurt you no matter what the outcome is. That is also why I said what I said. Ye things are progressing but we need to take it slow. I need to start feeling better, get through exams, move, start work, and whie doing that figure out what want in the end. So I am making sure I dnt hurt anybody in the process of doing all this.”

Me: “Ok. I know we need to take things slow obviously. But I do want you to know that it will hurt me if the outome isnt the best. Because I wear my heart of my sleeve and thats just who I am. I am putting myself out there and being here for you when you need support. I want to be here to support ou ad help you through everything thats going on becsue I know it shows that I truly do care and want whats best for you and us. Im sorry this conversation got too deep. I didnt mean for it too.”

Him:”Its ok. I just dont ant to get too deep. I dont want to hurt you again. I really dont. But I also have told you and you know that I dont know for sure what I want right now. Im trying to figure that out.”

I in no way tried to have a deep conversation like this. But I am hurt from it. I dont wanna wait around and support him through this really tough time in his personal life just to be left for when he finally gets through it all. You know? I feel like I am being his emotional clutch and Im so so scared that hes going to up and leave again when things get better for him. I feel used.

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Hi Leogirl

any new updates since your last post?

sorry, been totally out of the picture for a while - got busy with work and other things. I do agree that some of his views were a little bizarre though…

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Well we saw eachother when I visited his town and that was a ton of fun. Some moments were awkward. Other than that weve just been talking everyday. His exam is next week so hes studying all the time. And then he moves here in about 3 weeks.

Any new news with you?

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Perhaps he is just stressed out due to his exams - give him some time and see what happens when he moves back. Things should be progressing a bit more then if you guys are on the right track.

I ran into my ex recently and to my surprise, he told me that he had got a gift for me from his travels (pretty unusual for him, btw). Then we had a pleasant conversation and I asked him how his travel was. He replied that “things were quiet” so I inferred that he might not have been in a great “mood” to have fun. haha (devilish laugh!) We then agreed that we should catch up soon. It’s his birthday next week and now that things are looking up once again, I am thinking of getting him a gift too. Any thoughts?

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That sounds like its going good! I think the gift might be a good idea, expecially if he got you something. Which was a noce thought from him. I hope things will progress for you.

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I honestly have no idea about the future. A long time has passed now but miracles can happen :slight_smile: I too hope things will get more concrete between you and your ex soon.