So me and my ex split up in December just after her birthday. We were due to be going on holiday for a week away and she left me in the airport and broke up with me then saying she couldn’t do it. We then didn’t really talk much for about a month then on New Year’s Day we met up and cuddled all day watched a film and even had sex…she said it was her trying to figure out her feelings for me? but then recently we’ve started meeting up. We’ve been to the cinema together, been for food, cuddled, kissed, been to the gym however she says now that she wants to just be friends with me and that she cares an awful lot about me but doesn’t want to be with me or love me. She says if she loved me she would have got back together by now. She has an eating disorder and I feel this could be affecting the way she thinks? We are both as confused as each other I think, do I cut contact and see what happens or stay friends and see what happens?
@adam1996 - Stop giving her all the advantages of being in a relationship, but not actually having a loving relationship together! Right now it’s actually a “friends with benefits” situation. How long were you together before the break up? Did she have an eating disorder the entire time? It might be causing confusion, but maybe not. Start no contact and tell her why you’re doing it… in order to have time to think clearly about the situation as it is now and whether or not it’s a good idea or not to try to stay friends. Good luck.
Hi Patricia, we were together for two years and yes she’s always had the eating disorder, I’ve done as you suggested and told her about wanting no contact for a bit so I can figure out what’s going on, however she then went off in a mood starting to say “your loss not mine” etc 
@adam1996 - Wow, saying “your loss not mine” wasn’t very nice; in fact it was cruel. This on top of what she’s already said that she doesn’t want to ‘be with you or love you’, must have made you feel very sad and hurt. I’m so sorry Adam, but stay strong and continue strict no contact. There’s an old saying; you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I’m hoping that she will miss you and reconsider. It’s a possibility, but don’t get your hopes up too high. If you know why she lost her feelings for you and decided to break up, work on those things.
Wishing you the best…
I highly doubt her eating disorder is in any way affecting the situation regarding the relationship. Why would it? From what you have shared here it appears that she does not know what she wants in the classic sense of the word. She no longer wants the relationship, but yet she still enjoys spending time with you and sleeping with you…at her convenience though, which is where things get really tricky, and makes you very confused about where she stands. Obviously, you desire a return to the committed relationship you and her used to have. She has made it clear that is not what she wants, at least not right now. She is giving is giving you terribly mixed signals. What I would be concerned about from her is the fact that she wants to be “friends”, and that she stated that she “does not love you” and does not want to be in love with you. You should take her statement about “if I were in love with you, we would have gotten back together”. Huge red flag! When people tell them who they are, and where they stand. Believe them! Don’t confuse that fact she slept with you with her wanting a return to the relationship either. You are “safe” for her. There for her. And you have a sexual history together… meaning, that may have been just her being horny and wanting sex with someone familiar. My advise would be to let her have what she wants - space and time away from you. Give her time to miss you and maybe she will eventually want to try again with the relationship. Sadly, the more you stick around to her and are available to her all the time, the less likely she will be to wish to reconsider the relationship. Cheerfully pull back and let her know that your door and your heart is open to her, but then be prepared to keep very limited contact with her and leave her alone. Only time will tell where this will go.