My ex broke up with me about 2 and half months ago. Long story short I had done some things (talking to other girls, but nothing physical) around the start of the year. She found out, was heartbroken, I begged for forgiveness and we decided to try again. After about 6 months she breaks up with saying she wasn’t happy. She starts seeing this other guy almost a week after and I begged pleaded all that.
Anyway, after 2 weeks I go no contact. For almost a month. I reinitiate contact after a month and we start texting and we see each other. Talk about us. I show her how I’ve changed and improved and was willing to give her everything. She wasn’t sure but we kept talking and seeing each other and eventually got closer and started getting physical (no sex). Anyway, I told her I wanted to start over. You know, dating and such instead of jumping into a broken realtionship. She thought about it and then after a while agreed and we went on a date. Everything went perfectly.
A few days after she goes out to the club where she says she heard from some people about physical stuff I did with girls while with her. Which I DID NOT. She says she needs time alone and I say ok and give her space.
Now she contacts me saying its 100% over. She can’t give me another chance and that I should move on. I said I was heartbroken and I loved her and wanted to at least meet her and say goodbye. She agreed. We’re meeting tomorrow.
What should I do? I was just starting to find happiness and now it’s all come crashing down.
Be glad she’s giving you a chance to say goodbye. That means this isn’t easy for her and wants to leave you off with diginity. My ex told me that I “needed help”. After a month, I now realize that you only say that to people you care about. It seems like she can’t deal with the bs (false or true) surrounding you and the bigger man you are about it, the better. Don’t cry and just remind yourself that she made her decision. If you feel the need to leave, do it and it’ll make you have the last say.
Yeah I know. But it’s such a drastic change of attitude. Just days before we had a wonderful date. She even said “when we get back together again…” and I teased her and said “Oh, WHEN we get huh? Already decided?” She just blushed and admitted she gave away her intent. Then she goes a complete 180 and wants to break up 100%. I just don’t understand her.
Ok so we met to say goodbye. She just said that she felt good when she was with me and talking to me but as soon as she got time to be alone she realized she couldn’t let go of me talking to these girls. I said that I didn’t expect her to be able to let go immediately but that I was sure that with time I would be able to make her forget and realize I would never hurt her again. She was determined she would never forget. I said ok pretty much. Said that I respected her decision and that I was willing to give this relationship 110% and it’s a shame she couldn’t see that. She said she didn’t even know what she wanted, with anything in her life. I told her I wanted to be there so I could support her and find out together. Anyway nothing I said worked by I was calm and collected and never begged or pleaded.
I just don’t understand. Is she just unsure or doesn’t she love me anymore? The weeks we talked she said she loved me everyday and we had wonderful talks and times. I don’t understand.
After we met and just had to ask if she didn’t love me anymore. I asked her to be honest and not say what I wanted to hear. She said she would always love me but I’m the the one in her eyes anymore. I don’t know. I feel like no contact won’t work this time. I’ve lost her and I’m crushed.
So your major crime is that you talked to other girls, while in fact you were only friendly to them, but she still assumes you cheated on her? So she can’t forgive you what didn’t even happen?
From what you said, it seems you made the mistake that you accepted that you committed something against her for what she rightfully feels hurt. If you really didn’t cheat on her, then she should not feel hurt about it. By saying you won’t hurt her again, you admit you did something wrong. You should make it clear that you didn’t cheat on her, and you have right to talk to other people, including other girls. If you just talk to a girl, it’s not cheating. Meanwhile, you should make it clear that only she matters to you as a partner.
Not sure if you could still reverse this, but probably an NC wouldn’t hurt before you try.
No. The nature of the conversations were not friendly. But the only reason I was driven to do this childish act was because after 2 years of being together she left me and got into a relationship with this other guy. When she came back I never asked if she slept with him but wasnt naive enough to think she didn’t. We were eachothers first and for some reason the thought of her having been with someone else and me (what i thought then) would never have only slept with her the rest of my life. So I acted out int he most stupid way. But I never did anything physical and I regret even doing it.
Yes I know what I did was horrible and stupid. But it was almost a year ago and I haven’t done nor will I do something like that again. But she doesn’t believe me. That’s whys she left me 2 months ago. But when we started talking again she said she loved me and wanted to get back together again and then she just changed her mind from nowhere and said she didn’t want me anymore. Right now I am doing no contact again. But I don’t know. Maybe no contact isn’t the best choice this time?
