Ex said "Happy Anniversary!"

reconciliation
1

It’s been almost 3 months post-NC and I can say that we are now at a position where we are texting each other daily, and possibly call when I get a chance to. Not sending a whole bunch of kissy texts or anything. The most I send now is a hug via text. I’ve now cut the sexual-type texts, since, when I last checked with him, he said he doesn’t feel “safe” enough with me to be in a relationship with me. I’m not sure how to convince him that I am safe to be with until he re-places his trust in me, but that’s another story.

Anyway, today, my ex was the first to text, “Happy Anniversary!”.

I was surprised: first that he would even greet me with the anniversary greeting, but second, he finally got it on the right date, after 3 years!

Now, I had thought a couple of possible answers. I could have said “Wow, you finally got the right date this time!” or not put any acknowledgement into it and said “yeah” or “it is, isn’t it”.

Instead, I said, “Happy anniversary to you too!”

Nothing followed after ie. “let’s go out and celebrate” type of dialogue.

Moments later, I get a most random text from him, which, I believe was not for me, but for the other woman he’s been seeing, and accidentally sent it to me.

He said, “You have to stop messaging her. That &#$% is immature and not funny. It’s bad enough you keep lying to me about it”.

I replied, “?”

He hasn’t texted back since.
Perhaps he recognizes his text sending error.
At least I know it sounds like there’s some trouble with the two.

2

That text might not have been for her. But wow, happy annyversary? Since you two broke up that’s weird. I guess you two might still get back really. Don’t know what to advise you to do though

3

I think too that mentioning the anniversary is a sign of a chance to get back together. At least he is not fully over you.

So you have texted pretty much lately?
I would go on a date then. But you have to play it really well.

4

The positives here are that you are in contact and he’s initiating it and he’s clearly thinking of you. BUT if there is someone else on the scene then it may be time to take a back seat because it will get complicated.

All you need to keep doing is focusing on you, continue moving forward and perhaps wait for a bigger commitment from him such as meeting up etc, if there isn’t one it may be worth asking him to meet for a drink yourself.

5

Hi Kaila, I’m just going to continue doing my best to be myself and wait…

He still has issues to sort out.

6

Hi Nightly,

I’d try to re-introduce “hanging out”, but with that random text, it just threw me off. He still hasn’t replied to me. Now I know that random text, wasn’t random at all, but directed to me. I have no clue what happened. throws hands in the air

So many possibilities of what it could be:

  1. either he said that because she happened to see something that conflicted with her and started arguing with my ex about it, then in turn threw it out on me, as some kind of aggravated emotion

  2. he believes she received these messages from me and is defending her

  3. he used “the messages” as an excuse to get out, but I have no clue from what. It’s not like I trapped him in anything.

I sent him a rather long email regarding the text, telling him that I figured out what the text message he sent meant, hours after pondering it over.

He did this once, shortly after having breakfast together at a nearby restaurant. I could tell after he dropped me home that there was some disturbance in his eyes and he had to quickly leave. Only to find out when he arrived home, he called me and asked me about these messages that were sent to this other woman he’s been seeing. I told him I knew of no such thing. Then I began proving myself, that I accidentally left my phone at home, so there was no way I could have reached her, or anyone for that matter.

Back to the present day; the email I sent included snapshots of direct FB messages between myself and fellow FB friends, none of which are direct communication between her and I. So, to my suspicion, one of them is lying.

7

Yes ty10, I’ve been taking that seat back. I know its best to focus on myself. I’m just waiting for him to read my email. Hopefully, he will apologize to me too, for such an accusation, without even questioning.

I’m just letting everything take its course. I’m also still open to have a first date with others, since he’s still not ready for me, it seems.

8

Update: After nearly two days, he contacted me. He said that he knows its me sending these odd messages (to which I have no awareness of) and that it’s coming from my phone.

I replied that these could possibly be spam messages that I have no knowledge of. That these messages show up on other people’s walls and whatnot, but I am not the one sending them.

Then he comes back to me saying, “It makes me sad. I really liked you when I first met you. But then there’s always something pushing me farther and farther away, no matter how much I try to grow nearer.”

Ugh… even spam and technology doesn’t want us to be together. :frowning:

I know I am not the messenger, but I can’t figure out why he would attach blame on me for something I didn’t do.