Hey Kevin,
Me and my ex gf were together for about 3 months. We would see each other almost every weekend. During the week we would text all day long. Everything seemed to be super-awesome and intensive till her birthday party where she decided to introduce me to her family. I got tipsy and unfortunately started being on first-name terms with her dad without his permission. I know I should not have done that, but at the moment I just did not realize.
The following day after we woke up, she just calmly told me she did not want me to be on first-name terms with her dad anymore. I did apologize right away.
During the following 2 weeks everything seemed to get back normal. After that period she told me all of a sudden that I totally embarrassed her with my behaviour at the party and she had a mental block towards me. She told me to give her time and space that she needed to win this fight herself.
I stopped texting her right away. She contacted me after a day asking how I was doing and stuff like that. Then she started sending me good night texts with :-:- on a daily basis.
On Friday that week I only asked if she wanted to see me at the weekend yet. She just replied she wanted to spend some time alone. I respected her wish and went out drinking a little bit and have fun with my friends.
The following Saturday she texted me that she had been thinking about everything and she did not want to see me again. I had crossed the line in her mind and she had no idea how to get rid of that mental block.
Since that day I started applying the no contact rule for 42 days. Yesterday I sent her a “something reminded me of you” text. She has read it but still has not replied.
What do I do now? Thank you.
You disrespected her father. And maybe you have a tendency to drink too much or too often, which can give people a very bad impression. And maybe there are some other reasons she doesn’t want to see you again. You just sent the note yesterday, so give it more time. She will have it there to read over and reflect, but she might take a few days to reply after she figures out (for sure) what she wants to do.
Hey Patricia,
Thank you for your comment.
Yeah I know I f-ed up big time. The “funny” thing is that her father did not even mind what I had done at the party but mainly she was offended.
It’s the exact opposite of drinking too much. During the time when we were together I barely touched alcohol. I definitely dont get drunk regularly.
Maybe her father didn’t seem to mind because he was just trying to be polite and not make an issue of it. Good luck and hope all goes well. Don’t get stress if she doesn’t respond to your note quickly…
Thanks for the good luck wishes.
I don’t know. That’s what she told me about her father that morning after her birthday. We’ll see what happens. I’ve kind of accepted the fact though she won’t ever text me back and I will have to move on and comletely forget about her.
Well spending three months together is about the time stronger feelings start to develop and surely there must be some good memories. Don’t give up hope yet and hopefully she’ll reply to your note within a few days. But if not, maybe try no contact again for a while, maybe only 3 weeks and then contact her to ask if she wants to try and work things out, and then see what happens.
She told me many times that she had not been that happy in a long time. Even her friends noticed a huge positive change. I gave her the power to live, put a smile on her face everytime I texted her or left her a voice message on Whatsapp etc. She knew she was a very important part of my life and she felt the same way about me.
Isn’t contacting her again after a few weeks a sign of desperation?
Ohh I’ve realized one thing. She has a tattoo saying something like - You should never get back into the past as you’re only wasting your time. People don’t change. You should always move forward, never turn around.
Probably the reason why I am getting ignored.
Since you were only together three months, she has good memories and you made her happy, but it wasn’t long enough for her to be flooded with good memories as in a relationship of a year or more where people have gone through good and bad times together. That’s why I suggested maybe wait 3 weeks and it can even be 2 weeks. It’s just that showing an effort to want to resolve the situation will show her that you care a great deal about her and that you’re the kind of guy that wants to stay with her in spite of misunderstanding or problems.
What do you recommend texting her after those 2-3 weeks? Should I really get straight to the point and ask her if she wants to work this situation out? I’ve never been that kind of guy who wants to run away from problems.
How long ago did she say she didn’t want to see you again? Maybe write to ask how she’s doing and that you miss her. Ask it she wants to talk things over so you can at least be on good terms with each other and take if from there.
(This could be done in an email, phone call, or in person)
It’s been like 1.5 months now. To tell her I miss her? Really? Do you believe it’s gonna get things moving?
If you miss her, what’s wrong with saying it? I have no idea if it would get things moving or not, but isn’t it worth a try?
Don’t get me wrong, but I definitely don’t wanna look like I am kissing her a*s, as she has not shown interest in even contacting me back. By the way it’s been a week today since the first text after no contact.
Just a little update, been 2 weeks today. Still no reply from her. I guess she’s moved on.
Hey LKA,
I know you are getting impatient but if you really want to have her back in your life, at least you should wait longer. There is no guarantee she will answer, all you can do is to keep living your life as if she’s not going to contact you again and maybe you can be surprised one day to receive a message. Don’t be mad at her, it’s her choice and you have to respect it. Plus your relationship unfortunately/fortunately wasn’t that long enough to let deep attachment and dependence grow fully on you, you can divert your attention somewhere else and start a new chapter with someone else.
Thanks for you reaction FishingTheSky:)
I’ve already stopped waiting for a reply from her. There’s no sense in doing it. I am trying to live my life to the fullest. Recently I’ve started new hobbies, been on a few dates with new girls, started learning Spanish etc:). Generally I’ve been working and focusing on myself and I love it!
I am not mad at her at all. As you’ve said, that’s her decision. You are totally right, the relationship wasn’t super long. The thing is that I’d never even thought of wanting to get back together with any of my exes till this break-up happened. I can’t explain what it is!