Dumped Days Before My Birthday

Hello,

My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me a few days ago. He and I met while I was studying abroad in Europe, we became very close (he sobbed the night before I left and while he was dropping me off at the airport), and we both promised to be faithful to each other and to visit soon.

We had a small argument in February once I had returned back to the US where he told me he couldn’t bear thinking of me so far away from him and how he wasn’t sure what he was feeling for me but that it was a new and foreign thing to him. So he rashly asked to break up and I told him okay but that it seemed like he was running from his emotions. A day later he apologized and told me he didn’t deserve to be loved but he wanted to give up his summer trip with his friends to visit me in NYC. I told him that I would love to see him again and he promised to make the trip reality.

So fast forward to June. He was able to take off work to visit me and arrived in NYC on the 26th. I told my parents that I was going, I had paid for the bus ticket and my bf and I had split the airbnb, and was ready to leave when my mom stopped the whole trip. She said it was unsafe to travel around the holiday weekend and that I wasn’t street smart enough to travel in NYC. I didn’t think going would be a problem since I am 19, just got back from traveling throughout Europe alone, and paid for all the expenses myself.

I tried to leave to see my boyfriend a few times but finally gave up a few days ago and told him what my mom had said. And he was very upset, called me a child, and said that our only difference was that he kept his promise to be here and celebrate my birthday with me and I didn’t keep my promise to him. And that he would be spending his only holiday of the year alone. Then he told me “We had beautiful moments in Europe that we will never forget. Good luck with your life.”

I started no contact the following day and I would like to know if it’s worth it to try and reconcile with him? Any opinions and advice are greatly appreciated.

Hiya! First of all. That is very childish of him and I’m sorry to hear you went through that before your birthday.

I would suggest no contact and if you were interested in contacting him, do so once you feel truly ready! At this point, I would suggest to let him make the first move than you doing so. Don’t wait like a doormat though. Use that time to think through if he is truly worth it or not.

My experience from long distance relationship that it is very hard and takes a whole lot more from both of you than normal relationship. Mines only lasted for more than 5 years but had some issues cause we only skype and never met physically. It took a toll on me.

Anyway, your safety comes first! I would listen to my own mother more so than my ex who called me a child and threw a break up tantrum just because I decided to listen to my mother’s advice. There are ways to salvage the meet-up after all. Just my 2 cents.

Happy Birthday btw. Not sure when but best of wishes to you. ?