Does she want to reconnect? come back together?

reconciliation
1

First of all thank you for giving me the opportunity to post my story in there and receive some answers from people with experience.

I am going to share my story.

3 years ago I had a crush on some girl at office, but she had a boyfriend, but I was her bff by the time we spent together at work and shopping. I really liked her and felt for her, but she really loved her boyfriend so I couldn’t really do anything about this.

She let me meet up with her sister, and since then me and her sister fell in love in a nice click, we had something very common, like we are happy together, I don’t know how to explain this.

We had a lot of struggle in our relationship mostly because of her life (she wanted to be a model and I wasn’t the right person to help me get there, I have no experience in this and I am not known). So she always cried about how shit her life is and that she has no job and she doesn’t want any other job besides it, and she ever fell for anorexia once, because she thought that maybe shes not skinny enough.

I also was very obsessive and jealous, near the end of the relationship I figured out that she was speaking to someone and told him that she has no boyfriend and I seen this I just broke up with her.

She sent me a sorry message that she wants to explain, I simply told her good luck, nothing to explain and i am sorry too.

Now I really had a bad time, I really love her and still do and cant stop thinking about her every night and situation in my life, I have been out with 8 girls in this 6 months period and I didn’t like any of them for a relationship, but sex.

we had 6 months of complete silence.

And suddenly, yesterday at night, she sents me a message and the chat goes like this:

Her: Ben
Me: What’s up?
Her: All good, how are you?
Me: I am fine lol how are you?
Her: Good
Me: How are you do you have a job now?
Her: Yes
Her: How is it going for you?
Me: Fine, still at my old job, a bit confused about my life right now
Her: Why confused?
Me: I feel stuck, a lot of stuff that happened to me during these 6 months, I don’t really know what I want currently.
Her: Do you wanna talk?
Me: Yes i’d be happy to
Her: Whatsapp or call?
Me: whatever you feel

She called me now. We started talking, we talked for 2 and a half hours at night. She told me that her life has finally initialized, she has a job in something not related to modeling, something sports related, she is also studying now and everything is perfect, however she said that the only thing that hurts her is that shes missing me in her life right now. She said she called me because she thought about me all friday/saturday and decided to talk to me and she doesn’t want an enemy. She said that she has never ever contacted an ex (knowing her, might be true because she has an extremely hard ego). She said a lot of times that she loves to talk to me, its calming her and that she really misses me, so I asked her if she wants to meet up and she said that it’s possible but she doesn’t know when atm, she said she said that she was going out with someone right now and he kinda broke up because she had no time for him because of her job but I am sure its because she didnt really feel for him (knowing her).

Now we laughed a lot, talked about the past, she explained me that she didnt really cheat, and that she talked to the guy because we were in a bad situation near break up and she said that if we break up she would go to him which never happened though, they were not together.

Now I asked her if she thinks that we have a chance to get together, she said that she doesn’t know where it will go, but she says that if she didnt want she wouldnt speak to me, and she couldnt stop asking me why I didnt try to call her if I imply that I still want her.

I told her that I was very offended by her and preferred not to go back into something that may hurt me more.

Now we just talk on whatsapp about some stuff like her job, my job etc.

I don’t know yet, but what do you think, does she want to reunit ?

2

@benberi How long were you dating your ex? I find it amazing you that you went out with 8 girls in just 6 months when you say you love your ex. But yes, it sounds like she is considering making amends and hopefully she will find time to meet up with you sometime soon. However, you have to stop being obsessive and jealous as it shows you as insecure.

Good luck:)

3

Hey thank you for your reply.

We were 2 years together. I have been dating 8 different girls because I tried to move on and force myself to forget because I thought that we will never get back together from her side. Because according to how it ended, it didn’t look like she would ever want me anymore.

We were chatting on WhatsApp yesterday and today, she seems to be a bit dry in messages, answering in delays, sometimes she reads it and then reply after an hour or two.

I asked her yesterday if she wants to meet some day this week, and she said that she’s pretty busy this week, so I said okay maybe next week I’ll be happy to.

She answered with “Me too” as in she’d be happy to meet too.

Afterwards she randomly sent me a photo of a coke factory in some place near my city asked me if I want coke and I replied with something funny.

Then I told her that I am sick, I am really sick with a bit of fever and throat, and then she started her “test if he lies” trick, and said “ow too bad, i thought u’d come for bit”, so I answered if u are nearby like 15 mins i have no problem. then she said that she’s near her house already.

So I asked her if she wants to speak on the phone later when shes no busy, and she didnt enter my message till morning, without responding.

Sent her a good morning and she answered that she has some issues at work, told her hope u solve it, and good luck with her gym time after work, she said thanks.

Then I asked her if she wants to speak later tonight, and she said “for you, anytime”.

I am not sure what is our status, I definitely want her back but I dont know if she just plays with me …

4

@benberi If you continue suspecting everything she does or says, you’re going to lose her for good.

You wrote:“sometimes she reads it and then reply after an hour or two.” That’s another thing, you can’t expect immediate responses all the time… people are busy or whatever, maybe an interruption of some sort, and etc…

You didn’t say why she broke up with you, but I hope you’ve made the necessary improvements!

She’s willing to meet with you next week so don’t mess it up.

5

Basically what happened is this, I hope you like reading stories :wink:

Before flying to Greece, we were fighting a lot because I was suspecting her. I was suspecting her because she was not answering me on the phone like in the past, kind of like she hides something and you can really feel it, and she did not believe that I don’t go out to clubs anymore, so we had some trust issues but we got over it. It had a lot more stuff besides that, such as her sex fantasy was a threesome with 2 man and it totally wreaked me, but we got over it and went to Greece (it was her first time out of the country in a plane).

We had an amazing flight, a trip with a lot of good memories and fun, small fights maybe because of her mood and me annoying her by asking whats wrong, she answering nothing.

So while we were there, she started talking to some famous guy and told him that she has no bf and will meet him when she’s home. I didn’t know about this yet, remember this point, its not the reason of the break up!

We came back from the holidays, and everything was fine, she didn’t meet up with the guy. She had a birthday, so I took her to some nice vacation, where we had a fight because I thought that she is not attracted to me, she was less into sex and more into making photos of herself and such, wanted me to take picture of her because of her modeling dream, all day and I did it.

After getting back from the holidays, we kinda broke up together from anger, didn’t speak for 2-3 days until she posted a story on instagram of someone’s house with a pool. She meet someone and dated him and it killed me.

Afterwards I just cried to her, I told her that I can’t really hold it I feel suicidal and alot of stuff, I agree I was a lil girl.

Everything was fine besides the feeling that shes with me just because of the suicidal feelings.
So after a week we had the best sex ever, we loved so much and it was our best weekend in our relationship, we both talked about it grinning and planned to do another one asap.

But during that time I was suspecting that she speaks with the guy she was at his house when we broke up, because he kept commenting on her photo posts on instagram, we kept fighting over it but she actually lied I found out that they speak but I ignored it.

So at thursday before the weekend we planned again, she called crying that she has no job, no progress in life, and I tried to help her but unsuccessfully, she even started saying “if you dont have something good to help with I don’t need ur help Ill get fine by myself”

and we had a fight over it which brings up her lie about not speaking to the guy which completely bombed it cause I sent him a message and he responded with “Bro, fuck off and continue with ur life, leave her alone” and she blocked me.

Since then we never spoke, and then I found out about the guy that she talked to while we were in Greece from a friend (real screen shots cause he is his friend).

So in last call with her, she told me that she didnt want to be alone, she felt the break up coming so thats why she spoke to him

6

@benberi WOW, now I’m wondering if she’s the right one for you. There’s been far too much drama and too many arguments during the 2 years together. A good loving relationship is much calmer and kinder than that! She also seems vain and desires excessive amounts of attention from men especially…

I suggest you give this more thought and perhaps get counseling for your past thoughts of suicide. You need to find out why you would even consider harming yourself and learn better ways to cope with life problems.

Fun exciting times don’t make up for problematic issues between two people. I’m sure there’s been a build up of resentments on both sides that would be difficult to forget or forgive…
This comment she made was very cruel and hurtful;“if you don’t have something good to help with I don’t need ur help Ill get fine by myself”

Maybe you’re both very young and don’t understand how to properly interact with each other in order to have and sustain a good relationship.