My boyfriend and I had been together for 9 years. We had been dating since university. He is 29 and I am 30 now. He always wanted to get married, while I was the one who kept avoiding it.
In 2023, he proposed to me for the first time and I accepted. Shortly afterward, however, we had disagreements about a few things, and I ended the relationship. He pursued me and tried to win me back, and we got back together months later — I think it was almost a year later. However, throughout that period, we were still talking and seeing each other regularly.
After we got back together, he was appointed as a teacher in a distant city. In January 2025, he was sad because he would be living away from me. In the summer of 2025, he made plans for us to get married. He said, “Let’s get engaged in January 2026 and get married in the summer.” I agreed.
However, around that time, I started experiencing health problems. I was dealing with panic attacks, anxiety, and depression, as well as other physical health issues that were affecting me. I wanted to postpone the engagement until the summer, but he did not agree and wanted it to happen in March instead.
For the next two months, I was still very reluctant. I constantly told him that I was afraid of leaving my job, my family, and everything I had behind and living for two years in a village in eastern Turkey. He always tried to reassure me.
March came. Five or six days before the engagement, I had a panic attack and wanted to postpone the engagement. Since this was the second time I had postponed it, he understandably broke up with me and went back to his city.
He sent me a breakup message and blocked me. I did not contact him for 15 days. We broke up on March 24. I think I called him around April 12, and he eventually called me back. His voice sounded like he was crying. He said that he still had feelings for me, but that he no longer trusted me and that there was no future for us anymore. He said, “You can call me if you want,” but then added, “But what are we even going to talk about?” and ended the call.
There was no one else involved at that time.
A few days later, he blocked me from calling him as well. I contacted him through other platforms, and when he came here at the end of May, I wanted to see him. At first, he refused, but then he said, “Okay, if we’re not going to get back together.”
He came, and we had sex and watched a movie. We did not talk about our relationship; we just had ordinary conversations. He hugged me, stroked my face, and slept next to me with his arms around me. I did not feel for a second that he no longer loved me.
Before he left, I asked him to see me one more time. He told me, “I don’t love you anymore. I thought I still had feelings, but it’s over now. I’m not in love with you anymore.”
I couldn’t believe it because I simply had not felt that from him. How could his love disappear between March and May, especially when he had been devastated over losing me in March and then had sex with me several times in May in a way that felt loving and passionate?
I offered to go to his city, but he didn’t want me to. He even said, “I wish I had broken up with you earlier.”
After some time, I asked him if there was someone else. He said, “There is someone I like. I haven’t talked to her yet,” or something along those lines.
I asked him how he could have moved on so quickly and how he could already like someone else when we had only been apart for about two and a half months. He said
We had sex again. He picked me up from the hospital, and we had a normal conversation. I asked him, “Do you love that girl?” He said, “You’re misunderstanding the situation. There’s only attraction; there is no love or affection.”
I asked him if we were going to see each other again. He said, “Should we? It seems like it’s difficult for both of us.” But afterward, we made plans to go to the beach together.
The following week, we went to the beach. At first, he was cold toward me, but then he gradually became closer to me. We kissed and swam together. During that time, he was still messaging that girl.
While I was taking pictures, he showed some jealousy and asked, “Who are you sending those to?” Then he started saying things like, “You can send them. If there’s someone else, you can talk to them,” and things like that.
Anyway, after a while, we became close again and went to a hotel. We had sex several times, had dinner, and overall, we had a nice time together.
But the next morning, I woke up and saw that he was texting the girl “good morning.” Seeing him message her while he was right next to me drove me crazy.
After that, he told me again that things between us were over and that there was no future for us anymore.
I asked him, “If you have no feelings for me, then why did you sleep with me? Why did you want me to hug you and show you affection?”
The following week, I wanted to see him again because he was still in my city. I was trying one last time to see if there was any chance for us.
We talked at a café. He said again that it was over and that there was no future for us.
I mentioned that there was someone else who was interested in me, and he told me to move on with my life.
When we got into the car, he seemed very tense. I asked him why he was so tense, and he said it was related to his health.
Then I said, “We were supposed to get married this month.”
He started crying.
I said, “If you don’t love me, then why are you crying?”
He responded, “You’re manipulating me.”
After that, because I was going to move away, I wanted to see him one more time. We stayed together for one more night and had sex. Before that, we kissed in the car, and he could no longer listen to emotional songs. He told me to put on something upbeat instead. When I played a slow song, he started crying and said that he couldn’t listen to love songs anymore.
Our last meeting was on September 1. Before he left, we talked again. He said that if I had wanted to, I could have married him, but that there was no future for us anymore. He was once again very upset and crying.
After he left, he blocked me. I contacted him through Telegram and sent him messages, but he didn’t respond. One day, he told me that he was feeling very down himself and talked about his financial problems. After that, he started ignoring my messages again.
At the beginning of October, I wanted to go to his city, but he didn’t want me to come and said that he didn’t want to see me.
I asked him, “Did you and that girl become a couple?”
He said, “No. I’m not with her. I don’t want anyone in my life, not just you.”
A week after that message, I contacted him again. At first, he didn’t respond, but when I kept messaging him, he eventually told me that he had been seeing that girl. He said that he no longer loved me and that he had fallen out of love with me. He told me that if I continued contacting him like this, he would change his phone number and told me to move on with my life.
He also said, “If you had wanted to, you could have married me, but you didn’t.”
I asked him, “Do you love her?”
He said, “Yes.”
I said, “But in August, you told me it was only attraction. When did you start loving her?”
He replied, “That’s how I felt at the time.”
I said, “How did you forget me so quickly? How did you fall in love with someone else in just six months? Is love a child’s game?”
He replied, “You’re the one who turned love into a child’s game. I