Hey guys! Newbie here 
I’m in a pretty sticky spot with my ex (we’ll call him, I don’t know, Zookeeper), and I’d love to hear what you wonderful people think.
Let me tell you the story (in as few words as possible!) and see what you say!
Zookeeper and I were in a beautiful, loving, and soul-connecting LDR. We had never felt the same love and connection with anyone else before, and we couldn’t wait to be together. We were both battling addictions (him alcohol, myself cocaine) so we helped each other get by. Our conversations, laughter, and fun were second to none. We initially planned to be together 3 months after falling in love, but sadly my situation rendered it impossible, and it became 6 months (we had a few kind of annoying breakups, but we always gave each other another chance, because we knew that it was the situation). In spite of the stress, we held on - he supported me with more love than I have ever felt.
9 months into the relationship, I was destitute - stealing food to survive, trying to get funding for my business, coping with PTSD from various past traumas, and trying to hold everything together. He was doing his absolute best to help me - financially and emotionally - but it was taking his toll on him, too. We fought sometimes and he started drinking again.
One day, he confessed to me that he’d been drinking for several months, behind my back.Normally I’d have been like, “Damn, sweet pea, you should’ve told me! Let’s work through this.”
Nope.
I BLEW UP AT HIM. I relapsed onto coke, went on Facebook, and posted: “My bf has been lying to me for 9 months - fuck him” and also some really horrible comments stating his name and telling people to go destroy ‘his expensive audio equipment’.
The next day, he found out. In my embarrassment, I denied the post completely (partly because I’d forgotten, due to being under the influence) and of course, that backfired. I then said some really awful things and he told me to leave him alone. He then blocked me on EVERYTHING.
I sent him a long email explaining that I’d been under the influence, which was why I’d done something so uncharacteristic. I contacted my therapist, and even SHE SENT HIM AN EMAIL (she’s a kind of offbeat lady lol, and she loves doing weird un-therapist-y things). You see, EVERYONE thought we were perfect for each other. No response.
I spoke to a mutual friend who said that Zookeeper was ‘very hurt and angry’, ‘couldn’t trust me’, had ‘given me enough chances’ wanted ‘nothing further with me’ and (she guessed) wanted to move on. He was drained, she said. He never wanted to speak to me again.
And now, here we are. This was a week ago. I’ve been doing NC ever since. Not a peep out of him.
Do you think we still have a chance?
During NC, I plan to sort out my:
- Anger issues
- Communication
- Life situation
- Finances
And thus prove to him that I am ‘Me 2.0’, someone who is ready to be a more balanced, kind, and peaceful partner.
Honestly, I’ve never met a man like him. He’s an absolute diamond in the rough. I think we’d be absolutely great together. We discussed marriage a few times, too. When it comes down to it - the circumstances were wrong. But I’m trying to change the circumstances.
Tips and advice?
Oh - I also want to point out that he is a very stubborn, fiery, determined Taurus man. But, that being said, I am a Taurus woman…which means I am equally stubborn, fiery, and determined - and I am determined to get him back!
Thanks so much guys xoxo