I’ll try my best to explain our relationship as shortly as possible in order for advice to be given! I tried to make this easy on the eyes!
So basically, I met Adam (which is not his real name, just keeping it confidential) and we really hit it off. Within a few weeks, we were dating. Truthfully, we were going very fast, as in we were seeing each other twice a week and I was spending the weekend at his families house with him.
Fast forward, almost a month later, he breaks up with me. He tells me it was because he has no feelings for me, however, what he later says and judging by his actions prior to him saying that he was falling for me and would often talk about future plans with me. Yet the biggest reason as to why he broke up with me was because he had mixed feelings with his ex-girlfriend and it wasn’t fair for me and he didn’t want to use me as a rebound.
Adam was still in contact with her due to the fact that her belongings were still at his place. Adam and his ex- Daisha, lived together for a bit but then he dumped her since she was emotionally abusive and manipulative. He reassured me many times, even after the breakup, that he would never get back with her again because he knows how she hurt him. During the breakup, he told me that he felt bad for me and that it wasn’t fair for me (because he still had mixed feelings for her).
It was just out of the blue- the breakup I mean. Because just a few days before that, he was extra lovable towards me and even told me that he did not date for short-term but long-term. Another bizarre thing was the fact that he told me during the breakup that it was up to me if I still wanted to date him. However, Adam said that he couldn’t see a future with me (when just a few days and weeks ago, that was all he talked about) and then said: “You just came at a bad time…” and saying stuff along the lines that if I had met him first, things would’ve been so much different.
In my opinion, thinking about his personality and his character, I have a feeling that Adam still likes me a lot, however, he said all of that stuff in order to make me break up with him. Because I remember he once told me he was talking to his best friends about the relationship, and they told him that Adam was putting me in a horrible situation and they were the ones who made him realize that he was using me as a rebound (without realizing it, because Adam thought he was over her when he got with me).
I want Adam back, I want to stand by his side and treat him well. Although I was happy when I was single, I found more joy in my life when I was dating him. I could easily go on and on as to why I still want to be with him, however, that isn’t the point of my question.
I am starting the No-Contact rule and I am on day 4. Regardless if we get back together or not, I want to become a better and happier woman. I’ll be going back home from college for the summer, giving me 3 months away from him regardless, so I know that this will be a good time for self-improving. (I believe that there was a bit of loss-of-attraction involved as well, as he mentioned my fashion sense was a bit off as well as how skinny I was (lost weight due to college). So I want to improve that a lot, just because it finally opened my eyes that I need to change.)
Before doing research on getting my ex-boyfriend back and the no-contact rule, I had sent him a paragraph of just explaining my feelings and the confusion that I felt. I wasn’t begging for him, just was hurt and how come “good girls” always get hurt. And he said: “You are a good girl.” and basically ended it at that. He said a bit more, but for context purposes, it’s easier to end it there. Another thing was I had asked him about his job which he wanted to get in order to make money again. But then he said stuff like: “I don’t need a job. I just want one.” When before he said that he was doing his best to catch up on schoolwork because he wanted to work again. He replies to that question was curt. Finally, the text messages that had me mostly confuse was:
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“I’m sorry for wasting your time.”
> to which I replied that he never was a waste of time and that I didn’t regret meeting him. -
“I’m great.”
> After I had asked how he was doing and how he was handling the breakup.
So in summary, do you believe that he is hurt? At this point, before I start the NC, he would just read my messages and not reply despite saying that me texting him doesn’t bother him (he is very honest, so he would tell me) and he still views my Snapchat stories and Messenger stories as well.