Did I start No contact too late and wrong when I told her how long

no-contact-rule
1

Like the title says, we broke up 19 days ago (around 19 or 20 April 2019), it is now 5 May 2019. I only started no contact and told her I will not be contacting her for a month yesterday.

Is 19 days too late for starting no contact?

We are still in speaking term. I would send her cringy messages about how much I miss her and how I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She would mostly reply with a smiley face :). Sometime she got mad that I am bugging her too much and told me to stop messaging but she usually replied again after a few days. She also willing to share what disappoint her about me and our relationship when I ask. When she is in a good mood, she shared a bit of her life with me and we talk like we are friend again.

She doesn’t block me on her social sites but she does remove me from some(she likes to have 1 page for public and 1 page for their own/close friends).

Yesterday, when I told her that I will deactivated my facebook and give her space until June, she react quite a bit faster than usual (I think, maybe I just delude myself) and she did a very confusing thing: She initiated conversation in a alternative IM (I said she can still contact me during my facebook deactivation period) tot talk to me. Also, she owed my money and she is very independent, I dont know if she just hate the feeling of being in dept with me forever if I cut contact or she genuinely want to keep contact with me.

Also did I fucked up when I told her how long I will not be contacting her. After she initiate contact, I again sent her lengthy message about how I want to be with her forever and this is just a short period to improve myself and give her space. Did I ask pathetic? She replied with a like but nothing after that.

2

I didn’t start no contact till 8 weeks after breakup and been 2 weeks. The thing is like I’ve been told no contact is about getting yourself in a good place not just to get them to miss you. If you feel great in a month or two then you’ll be in a position to contact her and if it’s not a good outcome then you won’t be so bothered as you’ll have self worth and confidence back. At the end of the day if your a good bloke and never been abusive or cheated then it’s her loss if she can’t see that buddy

3

Thank you Lee Brads. I think I fuck up today. I could not contain myself and reach out to her. Good news is we had a great time chatting for the whole day.

Bad news is I let myself be a doormat and bought her some expensive gift (she didn’t ask, I was kind of desperate and so happy that she acts friendly with me again that I just started going online and buying her stuffs that I know she would like).

Right now this is good but I am afraid she may subconsciously loosing respect for me.

4

You need to cut off contact completely. You said “Yesterday, when I told her that I will deactivated my facebook and give her space until June, she react quite a bit faster than usual” and “She initiated conversation in a alternative IM” well she wants to keep you on her hook and can’t stand not having you in her life so use that to your advantage.

No contacting her, no responding to her and especially no buying her gifts.

Stay strong!