Hi,
So my gf of 7 years caught me out of left field telling me she wanted to take a break. I was really suprised since she always said and did things making me feel like we were in it for life. Everything else was going good as well, just a bit mundane. When she dropped the bomb she told me that this has been on her mind on and off and now she couldnt shake it. She needs to find herself, it has nothing to do with you, its me… I still love you, I just dont know etcetera. After 2 weeks of trying we decided that the only way forward was to take a break. So she moved out and in my misery I read about the no contact rule and decided to give it a go…
However, a couple days in she started contacting me, checking in to see how I was doing and also to pick stuff up from the apartment, so I responded so she could access the apartment. When she arrived (a week into our break) to pick stuff up, she was very emotional, I on the other hand tried to show that I was doing fine and only focusing on myself. Eventually she wanted to hook up, at first a declined but you know… after some convincing I couldnt resist.
Afterwards we talked abit and everything seemed to be just as bad as the day we decided to take the break. When she left she didnt bring anything from the apartment either… So here I am very confused… I guess she just wanted to hook up/ have breakup sex and see If I was still available to her… How should I procced from here? I feel like I got some sort of balance back in the relationship, showing her I was doing fine while she broke apart (something she commented on and was suprised by) but then instantly failed when we hooked up again. I really want her back eventually and I’m thinking of really sticking to the nc-rule from now on. Any thoughs and ways of going forward would be appreciated. Thanks in advance. (Sorry for bad english, from poland).
@ncworkplz Yes, go to strict no contact! Do NOT have sex again. Be patient and give her plenty of time “to find herself”… it might take several months for her to decide if she wants to reunite or not.
PS: Most people who break up with someone have been thinking about it for a long time. Then they finally reach a point wherein they are confident it is the right thing to do.
Good luck and take good care of yourself.