I know it’S hard. The jealous feelings are natural. But you can control them. They are your Feelings, your emotions, they can be controlled. Your thoughts can’t be but how you deal with your thoughts determines what emotions you feel.
When you get a thought of him with another woman, then stop for a few seconds, acknowledge that it is indeed just your mind playing tricks on you, and carry on. Think of other things, like something good in your life or how you felt when you 2 did something really happy together. You feel better with that thought. So you can control your Feelings!!
Our minds are very powerful. We find it extremely difficult to control them. But we can control the Actions we take. Be strong. Come on here before you think of doing anything silly.
And stop thinking about what he is thinking. Think about you. He wants you. That’s plain to see for me. Just give him his time now to realise that and you enjoy yourself in the meantime. This is all mind games. And you have to win this game and come out the other side stronger
I don’t know why I keep thinking about him with someone else comes to my mind so often. Sometimes I keep thinking that maybe it’s my conscious telling me that there is some truth in the thoughts, but I know that is silly. I know it’s my mind playing me tricks, even though it’s hard to believe sometimes. I try to think of all the good times, but it’s sad to, everything was so great at that point. I will come on here before I do something stupid. I definitely don’t want to do something that I regret doing afterwards. So I won’t contact him even though I want to. I am struggling very much at night. That’s when I think all this crazy thoughts. And keep wondering where he is and if he’s with someone else. I also keep thinking that his actions is just he’s way of being friendly, I am bit confused.
I will look up meditation and try that. And probably watch a movie or something. I will call the doctor tomorrow as well so I can get something to sleep on. Cause I am really struggling with sleeping. I am a person that has too much imagination. Do you think there is something in it that when I keep thinking about my ex being with someone else it’s my concious telling me he is seeing someone, or is it just my imagination?
Some People believe that certain People have Special Connections or bonds with other People.
Twins for example can feel each others pain. So, some believe that 2 People who are in love and strongly connected can also feel the other and know what they are thinking.
Then there are psychics also.
I personally believe that there is more to everything than what we think we know. I think that I can sometimes feel my ex. Feel her moods or when she is sad. We can’t prove this because that would be a really freaky way to break NC. lol.
But in all likelyhood, it is your mind playing tricks on you. Try to control your mind. Do some Meditation and clear out your mind a bit. “Clear clutter for clarity”.
Do you feel deep down in your gut that you 2 will be back together?? If so, then let it go. Be happy that it will happen and let the future come to you.
Because of our history, everything we have been through and that we always get back to each other (as I said there has been some back and forth this last fall due to his depression - but we weren’t actually broken up), I feel we will get back together. And the way he has been behaving with showing up here unannounced, curious about what I am up to, being flirty on texts, enjoys talking to me on the phone and don’t want to end the conversation - it makes me believe we will. But, at the same time I get this feeling sometimes that he’s done now, this is it, there’s no turning back, he doesn’t want me and he’s just trying to be friendly? Or that he already has someone else in line. It’s confusing. We have a strong connection, and I think I can feel him sometimes. But I think I would have a stronger feeling about him being with someone else if he is. Hard to say. It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I am a really good investigator online, but I haven’t used my embarrassing skills to check things out because I am scared of what I might find. When I talked to him on the phone on Monday he seemed where happy to hear from me. And he held the conversation going for about 30 minutes, he sounded interested in me but at the same time there was moments that he didn’t sound interested. And instead of ending the conversation when he went into the kiosk to buy something (he went for a walk to talk on the phone with me, as he has lived with his parents when he has been sick and are still leaving there as he’s recovery and change of professional will take some time, and they had company from his uncle as well, so he wanted to talk to me without anyone else butting in), he asked me to hold as he would be right back. Before he hung up he said: we’ll talk soon, okay? I just answered: sure, bye.
He wants you back. You know he will be back.
So don’t worry. Relax. Do not check up things online.
If he is with someone would you take him back anyway? You probably would
Just chill. Let it happen. Forcing it is doing the opposite of what you feel will happen. The more you force it the more you feel the panic. That’s because you feel inside that you did something wrong.
So chill and you will start to feel the world working as it should for you.
I am not going to check up anything, as I am afraid of what I might find, and I don’t really want to know. I would take him back even if he have been with someone else. The only thing I am worried about is how much he’s investigating in another girl if he has one or has one in line. That he will fall in love with the other person and forget about me. Or that he is committed to not getting back together with me even though he wants to. I am leaving him alone and trying to stop thinking about what he’s doing and who he’s with. I feel kind a obsessed at times. But I don’t do anything about it, I just write like a crazy person in these threads, lol. I just need to get my frustration out somewhere, talk to someone. My friends doesn’t think we will get back together and don’t see the point. They just think I should forget about him and move on immidiately. And I don’t think like that. It’s probably because I have always thought my ex is the one. I have never felt like this with anyone else. We are so connected and we have been through a lot, that has connected us even more. I hope you’re right Patrick, that he will be back and not replace me with someone else. I don’t want to be replaced.
You won’t be replaced. Trust me on that. He is thinking about you all the time too.
And don’t listen to your friends. In fact, don’t talk to your friends about it at all. I’ve discovered that my friends and family just got fed up listening. They just say to forget about it and move on. I think that’s their way of saying shut the fuck up, I don’t want to hear about that anymore. So try not to talk about him to your friends all the time.
He won’t fall in love with anybody else. Give him some space to notice that you’re missing from his life. That will shock him. And enjoy yourself.
Yeah I find it more stressful listening to my friends, so I don’t talk to them much about this. They are probably as you say, fed up as well. I hope me disappearing will shock him, if it’s even possible that he will react to that. I am a little scared that he would think that I have forgotten about him and moved on as he don’t hear anything from me, and that he will start moving on as well. 30 days or more is a long time. But it’s strange to me that he sounded so glad to talk to me on Monday. That can’t just be friendly. He knows we can’t be friends.
Of course he doesn’t want to be just friends. He still loves you. That’s plain to see. But something went wrong. He is trying to figure that out to. Or rather, he is hoping that you figure that out and sort it out.
He is trying to give to I space too. But making a bad job of it.
He will not forget. If you carried an apple around in your pocket for years and then it wasn’t there you wouldn’t forget about that in a month. So he won’t forget you.
So stop thinking that.
Why did you break up? We’re you too much for him. ? Smothering him? Relying on him? You have to chill out. You really do.
I know that the first days are scary but you have to keep busy. Did you try the meditation? Movies? Anything to stop the obsession. Continually thinking about it won’t help. Occupy your mind
It just feels like he has moved on. And are not interested in getting back together with me. I have never been a nag or anything like that. I know I have to chill out, but it´s hard. And I saw on his Facebook today that he had added some new people and there was especially one girl he had added that lives close by and he has some mutual friends with, and he has even liked one of her pictures already. It was a picture from a few weeks ago that she had put up. So it seems like he has something going on with this girl and is trying to move on.
I just feel so hopeless. Why would he else use the time to check out her profile to like a picture she put up a few weeks ago. By viewing her profile she seems like a person who goes out drinking all the time, that was my impression, and she looked pretty. Is there any point of me continuing this? We´re not friends on Facebook either, like he is trying to forget me. Now I definitely feel that his actions was him just trying to be friends.
Jaysus will you stop. It’s Facebook. People are Nosy. She is a friend. I have about 4 new female friends this week because I joined something new and met new people. And guess what? ? I haven’t had Sex with any of them. Not even once.
You have a child? Are you doing things with the child these days or just crying about him. Play with the child.
You should hang out with friends. Male friends. And then you can see that males and females can actually talk to each other without having Sex. Or just have Sex with somebody yourself. You wont feel jealous then.
Chill out woman
It just was something about this girl, they have several mutual friends, I have some mutual friends with her as well, she is even friends with his uncle for some reason. That just weirded me out. But I guess she has come to know my exés uncle through some of her friends that know him. It´s not a big town, but it just made me think that my ex has something going with this girl since he liked an old picture of her. I know it´s just facebook, but many people uses facebook to connect with others and flirt.
It was a wave of panic flooding over me when I saw this, I know it´s stupid, but it just pushed some buttons. And I got this feeling that he was seeing her.
I am at school or work almost every day, my child is in kindergarden. I do things with her, and to be honest I haven´t cried a lot either, just been feeling numb and down. I cried now when I saw this.
I went to this friend who is a male on friday night. It was nice. He invited me over for coffee, so we sat there and talked and laughed. We did fool around a few years back, but we have never slept together.
It was just a one time thing and some texts back then. I don’t know if my ex knows that we did that back then. It was before him and I got together. He probably wouldn’t like it very much. He knows this person as well, not like they are good friends, they are just acquaintances. It just freaked me out that he added this girl and that she is friends with a person in his family. I started to think about where he’s meet this girl and stuff like that.And that he might be seeing her or something. It made me sad. Just afraid he’s gone forever. I felt the rush at that moment to call him and ask about this girl, but I would never do that, that’s just crazy. Thanks for listening to me.
That would be crazy. What’s also crazy is being so obsessive and jealous. So looking at his Facebook. That’s not doing no contact. You have to start again if you keep doing that.
No contact means no contact.
