Well if he is there then you can’t do much about it.
If course there is a chance. A far bigger chance than probably any story I have read.
My woman has a man. Yeah it hurts. But big deal really. Would it stop you taking him back? Won’t stop me taking her back. Gives me a chance to try something else now until we get back together.
If you got back together and lived happily ever after would a fling during a break bother you on your death bed? Hardly. The Past will be the past. All behind you and never coming back.
You 2 will be fine. These things happen in almost all relationships. Break ups I mean for a while. It will blow over. Give it time and relax. Run around the house listening to some crap women music and enjoy the free time.
Are you friends with your exes on Facebook? My ex deleted me and blocked me the night he blew up and broke up. He unblocked me a day after, but we are still not friends there. I find it really hurtful that he deleted me, he has never done that before and has always been scared that I would delete him. I find it childish to delete each other. It’s very hurtful to think about. It’s like he doesn’t want anything to do with me…
He sounds interested, and the flirting in the texts, I thought that was a little sign. But I don’t know if he’s just trying to be friends. It just feels like I think about him more than he thinks about me. When we talked on the phone earlier this evening he didn’t seem to want to end the conversation. I feel like I am hooked and I needed a shot tonight. Stupid. I am trying to do things right. Will he even notice when I disappear for a even longer period? Or will he just think that I have moved on and moves on himself?
Never mind Facebook. I wish it was never invented. People act like fools on that thing. He was drunk when you split up. Maybe he has forgotten to friend you again. I wouldn’t remember to if I’m honest.
I’d let him go for a while. He is just confusing you. Cut contact. You will feel better after a few days (if you last a few days ).
He acted like a bit of a dick if I’m being honest and calling around is just confusing the whole thing.
Let him suffer a bit. Do your thing and do it with pride. As my sister says, “nothing makes an ex want you back more than to see you really happy and doing new things”. So go and do that. And enjoy it.
Remember it’s for you. But it’s also a game. And a game that you want to win so much that you have to do these hard things.
Yeah he acted like a fool. I know he is struggling, and I guess he had some sort of reaction and took it out on me.
We kept talking about our weekend on the phone, and he was talking about him and his mates having a good time. I talked about my night out with my friends, and that I had to walk barefoot home to my friend and her boyfriends house (as I was sleeping at her house) after someone took my shoes by a mistake at the after party. (we live in Norway, so it´s quite cold these days.) That we had a good time as well, and it´s a mystery that I didn´t get sick walking barefoot. I felt most of the stuff I said was dum. I don´t want him to think that I have found someone else or has slept with someone else just because I am out having fun. I don´t do that. He seemed to enjoy the conversation, and it didn´t feel like he has found someone else yet. Hard to say, but he was laughing a bit on the phone and talking about things we normally talk about.
But how do I make him see that I am happy and doing new things if we never talk or see each other? He can´t see it on facebook either since we´re not friends there. I will leave him alone. And see if that helps.
He will know. He seems to be keeping an eye on you. And word always gets back. Just have fun and forget about what he thinks for a while. If another guy is around then flirt with him. It gives you a boost.
Let him go for a while. More importantly let yourself go. Be free for a bit. Obsessing is very unhealthy.
We live in a small place, so words always gets around. I could never sleep with another guy when I want my ex back. Flirting is one thing, but I would not do anything else, or start seeing someone else. I have a plan for myself this week. Wish I hadn’t let my feelings take over mye head so I would have been further a long in no contact. I just want him to miss me as well. And that he won’t find someone else, texting another girl or starting to hang out with one. Thanks for the advice. I will try to get some sleep to.
One last thing. In all the stupid things I did in my relationship including being an alcoholic and depressed lay about, my one big regret is my jealousy. You are showing signs of it. Big signs. I can tell you now that you have to learn now to control that or in the long run in will destroy you and both of you.
Smothering someone and being overly jealous will definitely destroy a relationship.
If he sees you flirting and gets angry then bingo. He wants you.
Don’t worry about what he is doing. You can’t control somebody else anyway. So play it cool. Bury those jealous thoughts at the bottom of a fjord and leave them there.
Give yourself this time and you will see that when you concentrate on yourself, everything goes swimmingly.
If you can’t love yourself, then don’t exist anybody else to!
The thing is that I have never felt jealous before. And if I have had a moment one rare time I have always controlled it and not shown it. So this is new to me. But I am not showing him this. I think these jealousy feelings has come to my mind because I am afraid he will find someone else and feels she’s better than me. I know him and I have much history together and has gone through a lot, but that doesn’t seem to calm my mind down. The night he blew up and broke us up, he was lashing out about everything. He has bee struggling mentally for a long time coping with life after cancer, so there has been some back and forth at one point. So when he blew up he was angry about everything and especially the fact that I had become friends with this guy on Facebook which he has as a friend as well. He was certain that I was planning on getting together with him. He kept calling, lashing out about it and hanging up for several hours. I knew this guy a few years ago, and he’s a bit strange, so I deleted him a few years back. He asked me to be friends again on face and I just didn’t think that it was a big deal so I just added him. I mean, everybody is friends on Facebook, it doesn’t mean a thing. I was never and are never planning on having anything else to do with that guy, it’s just Facebook. But my ex took this pretty hard and I have never heard him like that before. So he blew up, had an reaction to everything I assume and deleted me on Facebook. I deleted this guy right away, and he asked me why I had deleted him after I said yes to be friends. I told him my ex didn’t like it and that things had got a bit bad, but maybe one time in the future we can be friends on Facebook. So this guy which my ex knew a while back as well contacted my ex the day after and said to him that it was never his intention to cause any problems, that it was just Facebook and he has no interest in me and neither do I in him, that we don’t speak and that my ex has nothing to worry about. I didn’t know this guy had contacted my ex. I knows ex didn’t like it very much, but at the same time he got some clarification as to what I was saying was true. So I guess he was jealous. I have never seen him that jealous before, he usually hides it very well.
I am little freaked out that he might think of me like a friend and is putting me in the friend-zone. He was rambling about friendly terms when he broke up. That is what he was writing in that text, not this friday but last friday. But he is the one that has started something by showing up, calling, and the flirting in the text on tuesday night - I would think he knows that we can´t be friends. And he flirted a bit on the text on friday. I don´t know what I should believe.
Well it’s a new day. It’s freezing cold. And I am heading to the gym. I used to workout a lot before, have been slacking off the last year, time to get on the right track I guess.
Well, being at the gym was really good. Tried to shut my mind off for a while. I have the day off so when I got home and was done showering I fall a sleep and slept for almost four hours! I must have been really tierd. Guess I have been tense and not slept that well at night.
I am planning on going to the gym tomorrow. In fact, I have never been in a gym. I used to love Long-distance cross Country running so being inside never appealed to me.
During Uni i would come home in the evening and go straight back out the door for a run, regardless of the weather. That was on Irelands Atlanic coast in winter so i ran in rain, snow, hail and loved it. I miss that now.
Must get back at it again.
Yeah, I am certified personal trainer, but I have been slacking off lately because my motivation for training has been down. It´s good to do something useful.
Do you think his action and the way he has been with showing up, texting and so on is he´s way of trying to be friends? I don´t think I will hear from him anytime soon.
It´s only been a bit over two weeks since we broke up. But it feels like forever.
Have you checked out Mark Ong´s way of doing the 30 days no contact? It´s a little different then this site approach.
I say ignore him. It’s tough. I’m struggling today. Really. Day 15 now. She has text nice things. Text old photos. The memories.
But I can’t text back. She may be thinking of me. It looks like it. But not enough yet. The head is turned in my direction but she is not coming this way, or running rather. And remember, she dumped me and had a new man. But she is thinking.
I haven’t replied because I want her to make up her own mind completely without me. And in the meantime I will work on myself. We split up for a reason. If there is any hope of us getting back then I have to fix me first. This is my time.
Do you understand?
P.s. He wants you. Of course he does. But let him wonder. Let him think that he has lost you. He will work on his problems. Friends don’t call repeatedly unannounced for a t shirt etc
Yeah I get your point. I am not going to contact him. I don’t want to anything I may regret afterwards, and I always regret stuff like that afterwards even though it feels like a good idea at first, if you know what I mean? So I am not doing that. Even though I have contacted him twice, I am relieved that I have kept my cool and not harassed him with phone calls and texts. There is some positive there. Sounds like you are doing the right things now Patrick. I admire you’re strength not to text back. You are strong. I hope I can still play it cool. I haven’t begged or pleade or anything like that when I have spoken to him. Just been polite, sounded happy (as Kevin has written about in the emails) and tried to be as cool as I can. Sometimes I just wonder if this is him trying to be friendly. And him showing up here is just because he had been to a friends house living nearby me and that it was convenient to drive up to my house as well. So he said the one time. Last Sunday when he showed up and I wasn’t home,he had taken a detour after dropping of his son at his ex house (they haven’t been together in years - they had a really bad relationship, really bad) to drive to my house. And that the way he texted me was not flirty from his side and that it’s just something I have made up in my mind. I don’t know, confusing! I am a little bit scared that he would think that I have moved on when he doesn’t hear from me for weeks and that he will move on as well, or that he might already have a girl in line. I have this crazy jealous feeling about that. I have never felt jealous before.
).