Yeah, I will keep that in mind. I haven’t seen him yet, and it’s almost closing, so I guess he haven’t hit the town. I know that he was going to drink with his mates at one of he’s mates house. This mate lives far I’m the woods, so I saw one of my ex pals was asking if there was anybody driving tonight so that my ex could get from that place to here. My ex lives downtown. I know he usually hits the town before he goes to bed then, but I guess he’s still with his mates or gone home. Hope I don’t run into him.
Okay, so I am back home now. It´s 03.30 am over here. I didn´t run into my ex on the town. We live in this small town, so it´s easy to run into each other. I didn´t have the best time ever, but it was good to go out, do something. I was looking over my shoulder all night in case he would show up. I was almost certain he would, as he usually takes a tour throw this club before he goes to bed. I kind of feel a bit disapointed that I didn´t see him. I had this whole plan figured out in my mind on how I would act, I am laughing a bit at myself now, and behave. I had dressed up, so I know I looked good and I got some attention from several other guys.
My mind is playing me a bit at the moment, like is my ex just with he´s mates at this mates house, has he brought someone there, are there other women there (I doubt that since his mates house is far up in the woods and he said it was just going to be him and his mates and maybe one of this mates girlfriend as they live together up in the woods there. Keep thinking about wether or not my ex is home sleeping, or up there sleeping or at some girls house sleeping. I know it´s stupid, I have to blame the wine tonight, cause I feel my mind is out of control. I am watching a tv-serie to keep me occupied, and I should go to bed soon. It´s been a rough day emotional.
How is your day going Caz? Has it gotten any better?
Do you think he will show up at my place unannounced again?
He will show up again because he already has twice and you not being there made him question you, he is wondering what your doing and makes him panic abit but you have to stay calm and collective, your mind needs to slow down.
He obviously was not going to tell me that he had been here on Friday night. At least not at first since he did not say anything about it until I asked him. He has a t-shirt here. Why would he use that much time and effort to pick that up? I highly doubt he will show up again when he has been out of luck two times. I felt some of the texting Friday night was awkward as well. Probably just something I feel, but still. I guess I shouldn’t have texted him about it. Trying to stay on no contact, but it feels like his drifting away. Just got this feeling that we will never get back together and that he has moved on.
He is wondering why you have not been home he last 2 times and if he shows up again do not text him and ask him why!
He hasn’t moved nobody can move on that quick unless it was a rebound!
You have to stop torturing yourself!
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.”.
yeah, the first time he asked me where I was, I was out getting some take away, I just said that I was out and was on my way home. When he asked me where I was this friday night I said that I was nearby at a friends house. And on tuesday when he meet me on the road late, he was very curios to where I had been. I don´t know if he cares or not. Maybe he was a little embarrassed that my neighbour saw him by my place on friday.
I was thinking about him a lot yesterday, I just couldn´t shut my mind off. Kept crying and driving myself crazy. I am better today. It´s probably because I know he´s out having fun. I was the encouraging him to go to his mates house, he was rambling about it on the texts friday night, so I said that he should go and it would be fun to be with his mates, he was not sure if he should go as it´s a bit far away and getting home can be quite the struggle.
I know I should stop thinking about what he´s doing. My ex is a charmer and has flirty eyes, that is probably why I am worried he will find someone else right away or is already texting someone else.
How did the rest of your day go yesterday Caz?
He won’t move on that quick, he’s not mentally ready…
It got worse but I feel a bit more upbeat today…
I hope you’re right Caz. Just feeling a bit hopeless today about the whole thing. I was starting to think about, what if him showing up here several times is just to get his t-shirt so he could move on, that there’s notching else he wants. So sorry to hear that your day got worse. Glad to hear that today is a bit better. What are you up to today?
He will show up again, what’s so important about a t shirt! it’s understandable when you feel hopeless but he will not move on.
Just been out for a long walk, fresh air helps clear the mind
I have no idea what’s so important about that t-shirt. It’s a simple t-shirt. Since we broke up rigt before his birthday I still have his birthday present. He knows I bought him a gift. But I don’t think that’s why he’s showing up either. Looks like he initially didn’t want me to know he had been at my place Friday night, but my noisy neighbor saw him, and she said he saw that she saw him. So he could have just told me before I asked. If I could take it back I wouldn’t have asked him. Can’t do anything about that now. I just hope he will come back to me, I hope you’re right Caz. It’s great to hear you are having a better day. I am trying to find a movie to watch. Maybe it will keep my mind off things.
It is all very strange but I think given time he will but in the meantime you have to start working on you!
If your still this way when he does come back around he will see he still has all the power, keep up the NC it’s hard but will get easier
You don´t think him showing up is he´s way of ending things for good? That he wants to get his stuff so he´s not connected to me anymore?
No because he would have text ages ago and said an I have my t shirt or pass it on to a mutual friend.
He’s very confused so give him the space & time
That´s true. I will give him time and space. I am just so worried he wont come back.
How do you guys deal with the pain at night? Almost every night I get this anxiety. I feel so lost, and that I have lost him forever and he´s with someone else. During the day I don´t feel like that, it´s just at night.
I listen to vibrations, @patrick d recommended it and I sleep listening to it and it does make you feel at ease.
Also I read or write before I go so it makes me tired.
The nights are the hardest but they do get easier, it’s nearly midnight here and have to be up at 6am but I will respond as soon as im up in the morning!
Yeah I should go to bed to. I just get this feelings that I might have ruined everything by texting my ex this friday night asking if he was hear and then continued texting with him. I just feel so stupid. That he is not interested in me anymore. And maybe have meet someone else. I feel that he has the power and that there is no way to change that around. Do you think I will hear from him again?
We are still not friends on facebook either since he deleted me that time he got so mad two weeks ago.
Maren. Check out some meditation. It will clear your mind.
There is also one where you feel each part of your body with your mind and get any pain out etc.
Or imagine the back of your head sinking into your pillow.
Or do as I used to do. Put on a movie that you really want to see and you will be asleep before it starts. Lol.
I just want to hear from him, I want to know if he´s thinking about me to.