Sober post this time, apologies for the last one.
So following my situation where the ex was telling me she loved me, then although admitting she still had feelings told her ex she was happy and in a better place before he turned up non stop whilst I was away and she came to see me and said we need to leave it as she can’t pursue the person she really likes whilst someone she still lives is constantly in their face. We agreed and I said you need to clear this so we can ever have a chance anyway and she agreed but reiterated how things were great and many a lot better with me there was just a boundary created around the drama.
So 3 days later I got a random text of a few kisses but just said because she’d forgot to text back, not much conversation after just some good news etc and update but I took it as a positive.
Then I got this really cryptic text another 3 days later and I’m interested in people’s thoughts. It said basically, just so I know for my peace of mind, she’s not getting back with her ex as she’s realised she doesn’t feel the same and he’s an ex for a reason. So thanks for making her remember her value. That’s all x
I feel like there’s some very mixed signals in there but took it as a positive. Didn’t reply for the whole day due to some personal issues but after asking what’s happened had no response for most of the week which was a surprise and she’s never not responded at all before. What do people make of that?
Has no one got an opinion on this? Seem to be the only thread on here without a reply
Her cryptic text sounds a little positive. What do you plan for your next move?
Thanks for the reply. Yeah I thought that at first as the ex was the only reason we said we had to leave it but she has a lot going on too, but she made a point in saying the feelings had gone whilst thanking me for how I’ve helped her…it’s the sandwich it’s between that was strange. I messaged a follow up a few days ago that just left it open saying hope she’s ok and if and when she’s back to herself I’d love to take her out for at least a Christmas drink if she fancies it. Not heard still but wasn’t expecting to yet.
Things were still good when we left it though so the quietness has been a surprise and I don’t know what’s best course to get the positive back but don’t want to rush it either. I’m also thinking I wouldn’t have had a message saying all those potential positives if there wasn’t some desire to keep it open, or you just wouldn’t say those things knowingly leaving some hope in my opinion. Do you think I’m likely to be right? It’s quite a conundrum and I can usually see people’s mindsets with things a long way off but can’t in this one for some reason, so I’m trying to get some rationale behind the mixed messages I think.
Plan is NC for now whilst I’m working on some of my own new projects and then maybe something a bit positive about catching up in the festive period if there’s nothing sooner.
Yeah, she’s probably just thinking things over and keeping things open…
You have a good plan:)
Yeah that’s what I hoped. Just been very strange since it’s the first time I’ve not heard back but said some very big things imo right before the silence. I think that’s the confusing part as she’s said them right before it
Yeah sticking to that so far. Any other suggestions or perspective on what could help or might be going on?
@optimistuk We can’t know for sure what’s going on in her mind, but there’s a hint of staying open. Continue no contact. No bombardment of texts, emails or calls. Try your best not to dwell on her for awhile. Then closer to Christmas, ease slowly back into communications…
Good luck:)
Of course, I know that it’s just been hard to get my head around and I’m never like this. It’s just really confused me as the reason we left it was so she could deal with the ex but we said without that we’d work out and have been fine and if it changed we’d have our chance.
So the message followed by nothing felt like a kick in the teeth but then I think in that situation if she was done you wouldn’t send it at all. So yeah seems still open just the lack of contact has been bothering plus I’m worrying about the best way to reapproach now when the time comes to maximise my chance for success. Thanks for the great advice so far and helping me get some rationale to it 
@optimistuk Stay positive. Maybe invite her to a nice dinner later this month and take a small Christmas gift for her:) Good luck…