You said “because you are a good guy and you dont deserve happiness” ? lol
I know it’s a matter if wanting to go on, I don’t feel this way currently but 2 - 3 weeks after we broke up I thought about my future without her. Well… I didn’t want one, I would have suicidal thoughts all the time, I didn’t and still don’t want to die obviously but it was like one part of my brain didn’t care about living where the other did.
I don’t think she’ll be rude or cold, I think she’ll keep sentences short. She never writes huge sentences when texting… ever. Even when she had a huge crush on me she didn’t they were longer but never like 4 sentences or a paragraph. Also whenever I looked at her messages in her phone (I know it’s weird… but every couple does it from time to time) or when she would be texting her friends it’s always 3 - 15 words. What I’m trying to say is that she isn’t a long texter lol.
So instead of looking for short texts I’ll look for passive aggressive, rude, cold or other signs that indicate she doesn’t want to text.
OOOooooh sugar, that was not meant to happen, because you DO deserve happiness! Sorry, had a lot on my mind
No but seriously: You are a good guy and you do deserve happiness!
I can understand those feelings. Those feelings may come in situations like this when you are not as “stable” as other people. Have you maybe thought of going to a group councelling or to a therapist in general? I’m not saying you are crazy or mentally unhealthy! I can just speak from my experience because it helps me a lot to deal with my anxieties and I believe that a lot of that thinking you have or had comes from what you have been through.
Yes that’s true, look for those emotions in it. But remember you might be so happy that she is writing at all you won’t even see the signs! And also remember to wait at least 30 min before you answer it will give her something to think about.
So if texting works out, let’s say you are in touch on Tuesday, give her a break on Wednesday(also important I think! Give her a bit of the “cold shoulder”) and text again on Thursday and Friday. On Friday you will see how everything is going. Maybe she already has called you by then: If not stay calm! Go through things you have talked about and think about something that’s worth to call her for. “Hey could I call you in a sec? You won’t believe what happened to me. I wanted to tell you in person because I thought you might be interested.”
Is it easier for you to call her first than meet up? Maybe you find it easier to meet up already because there can’t be any misunderstandings, you can read her face and see if she is smiling while talking.
I just started panicking again…what if it’s wrong not to answer and he thinks I don’t care? Do you think that could happen? I’m so scared to lose him fully It doesn’t really help that I’m sick in bed now for already 4 days and can’t really much go out and distract myself with better things than music, movies and drawing.
There is a good chance he’s not going to move on if you guys had a meaningful relationship but with that being said everyone is different. He may move on or he may not, he may find it offensive he may not. If it was me I would expect a reply back but I wouldn’t be very offended if I didn’t get one, you said you guys need space. He should know you won’t respond, just keep calm, I hope you feel better soon!
Text if you want to talk about the relationship or if you’re just bored
It’s nice to hear from you. I’m sorry you’re sad. I’m good but at the moment I need space to concentrate on myself. I will write you once I am ready to talk again.
I think that sounds good, if you send it and he replies don’t respond.
I have my message how’s this?
“We’ll things have slowed down, caught up with everything for the most part. Hey I saw you got a haircut, I’d like to hear how you’re liking the teeny tiny hairs look lol.”
I said “teeny tiny hairs” because in the picture she posted that I’m referring to that was the caption.
What you think? I’m writing it today so I need your opinion/advice asap lol. Hewp me pwez!
John (I know it’s not your real name). I messed up…big time! I feel I’m so stupid. I feel like I have lost him forever now… We got into a conversation and I stayed calm and it was nice and short. But I felt I wasn’t ready for it at all! So this morning I just texted him to ask why he texted me and he said he is fine with NC but thought I wanted to check in with him and I didn’t so he wrote me. And I told him I thought that I think it’s good that we work on ourselves and are in NC but that I don’t just want to throw away what we both had. and he snapped…he went cold again and he asked why did I bring this up and that he misses me but also knows he is sad but never as sad as he was in the relationship. And that I should accept that he doesn’t want a relationship anymore with me. It almost killed me to hear that…I just said I accept the break up and that I want to continue on NC and said bye. John, I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t have done this. I was so weak and saw he was online and had the question in my head and then just asked. I wasn’t ready for conversation at all And today I started using tinder and I think that made me so emotional because I felt I wasn’t ready to meet new guys.
I think your text is very cute! And I hope your conversation will be better than mine but I’m sure it will be!
I’m so sorry… this is what I’m afraid of in my relationship. I do hope he realises his mistake and texts you. He battles with depression, he’s probably scared and confused. It’s not uncommon to snap like this, I do however recommend you look for someone else. I’m sorry to say that because if I heard that I would lirterally want to die, just remember that you deserve love and to be happy!
Hell with how nice and supportive you are I’d date you
Anyways, I’m so scared after sending the text, I keep looking to see if she’s read it… she hasent yet lol. I think she’s awake because she liked a couple photos earlier of random people. Her friend also liked them so she may be chillin with her.
Btw dont think I’m like stalking her and her friends lol, I posted a picture earlier and was looking at my notifications, I saw that her and her friend liked the photos while I was looking at people who liked my photos
Anyways any more advice for me? I recommend you clean, meditate, do laundry, etc… get your mind off it.
Thank you for your advice! I think he wasn’t ready to talk to me himself and is confused. He hasn’t overcome the negative feelings of the depressive period that he is relating with me. Of course I did things wrong but the most hard thing in our relationship was the communication during his depression for which he think I was the reason when it was his mind I just hope he will understand one day.
It’s hard to see that we could have a wonderful relationship if we both take time now to work on ourselves and that he doesn’t see that. I don’t want to move on and I also don realize that yet. I think I cannot give up like this now
I was thinking of just continuing NC, send a present for his bday in December and see if he answers or wants contact. He actually also said two weeks ago he would come to my presentation of my final project/graduation in January but he needs to see how he feels until then. I don’t know if he will…
It’s normal to look if she has answered, don’t worry. We all would be super excited! Any news on the answer?
Also try to keep calm and distract yourself. Try not to make the same mistakes like I did Because I was definitely not ready for a conversation with him. Do you have school today?
I’m just nervous about what she’s going to say lol.
I don’t really know what else to write at this point I’m just nervous, I hate how I’m the one reaching out… it makes me feel like she doesn’t care lol. Do you think she cares? If so why isn’t she reaching out…
Ah damn, that’s not good And it’s very early in the morning at the moment is it?
I think she cares. I also think my ex cares otherwise he wouldnt have written me.
They are just confused with their own feelings atm. They broke up but they still care. But they don’t want to be confronted with you or me right now because we confuse their feelings. On one hand there are all the reasons for why they broke up and then on the others feelings of love and care come up again too. So they are confused but they don’t want to admit they are. They want to be “strong” and stand by their words of the break up. It’s usually easier than admitting you still love the person and that you actually want them back too. It’s a mix of feelings. So it’s normal that she doesn’t write right away, she needs to think of what to answer. Wait it out. If she doesn’t write, she is not ready yet and you can try again on the weekend, this time with a direct question.
It doesn’t really help that I’m sick in bed now for already 4 days and can’t really much go out and distract myself with better things than music, movies and drawing.
And it’s very early in the morning at the moment is it?