So my ex wife of 3 years ( we been together a total of 5) decided to leave me a little over a month ago. She has moved out and claims to be living her best life ever since we have been broken up. She is much younger than I am (24 vs 31) so she has always hated the tie down of having a husband and a kid. Maybe I add the kid is with me most of the time.
Recently as earlier mentioned she is always on the go now at all kinds of parties and lunches and dinners ( she post pics but I don’t know if she is there with guys). I did the standard mess up we guys usually do and have been begging and trying to bargain for the first 3 weeks till i got to a point where i gave up and was aiming for us to just be cool which she shot down. after constant begging and pleading I think even got to her to a point where she would block me and even once said i annoy her so bad she hates me but this block only lasted a few hours.
I gave her a few days of not messaging her and she would still always message me to ask about little things which i think she didn’t need me for. She would ask about the kid when she knew our daughter was with my mom .
I had so many questions I needed to ask and she would never want to talk so she said one day she would choose a day that week to answer. After some thought I told her I wasn’t going to bother to ask the questions because they were rooted in insecurity and denial. That I was dealing with my demons with myself and my psychologist and needed some time to heel. She said no problem but stupid me went on to ask “ if I get my shit together do you think we can start over?” which she replied “I don’t think so, I don’t want you or a relationship”.
So again started my no contact attempt but she keeps breaking it. She messages about collecting things from our office as she sometimes helps me sell products independently and when she comes she always tries to form a cordial conversation.
Last night I went to watch the game by a friend and his wife had scented candles lit. Innocently i took a pic of me holding my drink and the tv but candles were in the background of the picture . She replied to my post privately and wait “candles lit and shit, it’s about to go down! enjoy”. I’m confused if she still cares or if she was just playing with me.
So today a friend suggested i do something nice for myself and dress up which i did. She later called me and asked to meet up to bring her a product, when She saw me she looked at me head to toe and asked “where are you going?” I replied “ I just felt good about myself today so I wanted to look nice “, she laughed.
Told her I have to go now to get some shoes and a shirt for tonight and she said “oh you have a hot date” I replied “no i don’t”. I gave her a ride to her next spot and she said “ I know you are going out tonight “ i replied “ I never said I wasn’t, you asked if I had a hot date and I didn’t”. She said “ i realised you had a hot date last night and you must be going on one again tonight” I said no . She then commented “ look at you lighting candles and thing for other girls but you never did it for me to which i replied “ I wasn’t even at my house so how can I light candles for someone and who says I was even at a ladies house”. She replied what man would light candles when he has a male friend over? I joked and said maybe I was trying something new.
Here is where I am confused. She is obviously showing signs of jealousy or maybe i’m over thinking it and she is just being cordial. She says she never wants us get back together yet said recently “ just wait and see what happens or forget it” . She is talking extensively to other guys who i know want her and is all giggly and happy to hear them yet shuts me down sometimes.
Truth is the shoes and outfit i bought was to surprise her on Sunday when we agreed to go dinner. Wanted to look my best but her response to me looking better and investing in myself seems to be suspicion that Inam trying to impress another girl.
I love my wife and want her back. I am trying no contact but she breaks it with plausible excuses. I am working on myself but still feel like shit everyday especially i get these mixed emotions I can’t decipher. Does it sound like i still have a chance or is she just playing with me or just being friendly? Will no contact give her time to let these other guys in? What should I do?