My ex broke up with me nearly 4 months ago. Initially she said she still loved me but could not see us having a future together, a weeks break was decided so that she could think about it. When we met a week later she still could not make her mind up. She said her heart was fighting her head, we talked for a bit,she got a little angry and made an impulsive choice that it was over. We had been together for nearly 7 years and I had not worked for the last 4 years due to me having Bipolar and anxiety / panic disorders. Me being not able to work was a big issue, she could not accept my reasons or explanations. She felt that we would not be in a position to have our own place etc. My parents offered to help but she turned all this down.
She said that we could be friends but that it was my choice. She continued to the text me afterwards to see how I was etc. I was very ill afterwards and ended up going to hospital. We met a couple of weeks later at a friends wedding were I ignored her all night, she approached me at the end and we talked about about my hospital visit. She again said about being friends was my choice.
We continued contact via text where she would ask after me and my parents and I did the same. She did not ask for her stuff back from mine, I organised this after 5 weeks, I dropped her stuff off at hers and she gave me mine. At this time I also gave her a letter explaining things that I was unable to express to her during our relationship. I had to chase her for a response all she would let me know after a week was that she had read it but nothing else.
We stayed in sporadic contact up until 10 weeks after the break up, when she text me to say that she was seeing someone, I wasn’t happy obviously, we met up as I wanted to give her the remaining stuff she had at mine, which she new about but never asked for back. We talked and both got emotional, her stating I love you as a person but I’m not in love with you.I also asked about the letter, why had never talked to me about it but she didn’t know why she hadn’t. I decided then to no contact, which she didn’t like but accepted at my discretion. Two weeks later I found out that she was no longer seeing this person, due to them being needy and clingy. This info came from a mutual friend, who was also told that she wasn’t as ready as she thought she was, hey ho, that’s life.
I left contacting her for another week, not saying anything about the other person. I initiated texting for a week, it was very friendly,funny and good memory driven. Until she made a statement that she meant for me to question. She had just finished work and was going to a friends house for a bath then she was going to pick her up from work at 10pm. She basically wanted me to ask if she was seeing someone. Which like an idiot I did, I wasn’t negative during the conversation but she proceeded to tell me all about her, that she worked at her store. I did say to her that I thought you said you would never date someone from work, she said I know but it just happened. We then finished the conversation.
She has big troubles at home, with her mother and sisters. During this time her dad has been kicked out of the house, and her rent to her mum has been raised significantly. I have found out that she works all the overtime she can get, plus does not want to be at home because of the atmosphere, she hates one of her sisters, who is now always coming round, and has already told her mum, you may have gained one daughter back but you might lose me because of it. Her mum thinks she is always right and that it’s an empty threat. This is information from her dad who I am still close too.
Anyway after the last time we texted, when she told me about the new person. I went and flipped, bearing in mind my mental health problems, I went and tried to top myself, stupid I know, but at the time I felt I was on auto pilot and that was the only choice I had. I was in hospital for a few days. I found out once I was home, that she knew what had happened, that she was cut up about it and blamed herself, this came from other people. I did not contact her, until a week had past. Sent her a text basically saying that I wasn’t in a position to have a friendship at this time, I wished her happiness but that I couldn’t witness it. That it could be a couple of months or even 6 months before I was ready, plus a few other things concerning mutual friends and her family problems. It was a good text, no blaming or anything like that, it was personal, I started with her name and finished with love always and my name. I did get a text back from her, it was short and basically said, hey, I understand. Hope you get the help that you need xxx. That’s how it’s been left. I still believe she has feelings for me, that she is bouncing from one relationship to another convenient one, and that it is moving fast. Being in someones house after a week or two without them being there etc. I know that I have just got to let her get on with it but it’s hard.
I’m sorry that this is so long but I did say it was complicated.