Hello Everyone,
My story is a little convoluted and spans about 3.5 years. I would love to read any advice you may have for me, positive or negative. I just need an unbiased perspective.
So, 3.5 years ago, I started working for a small start-up. Three months after I started working, my boss’ daughter joined the company and worked as the office assistant. Initially, we never really talked much. We just smiled at each other and greeted each other everytime we crossed paths at the office. 6 months later, we got a chance to talk talk to each other outside the office alone. When we started talking to each other we just felt so comfortable with each other and it seemed very organic. After that day we exchanged numbers and started texting each other and within a couple of weeks we starting hanging out with each other and got physical. Everything appended so suddenly but it just felt right. We got very close to each other and we fell in love deeply. She told me that she had never felt this way for anyone before. She used to tell me secrets that she could never reveal to anyone, not even her best friend. And I felt the same way about her. We decided to tell our friends about us, but not our parents yet. Everything was going great for about 4 months. We loved each other’s company and would hangout 4-5 times a week after work at my place.
Then all of a sudden one day she tells me that we moved things too quickly and we should slow down a bit. She also said she was feeling guilty because her dad was my boss. She also told me that she was afraid of commitment. I was devastated because I was madly in love with her already but I I understood her point of view and we decided to cut back from each other a little bit. We stopped hanging out outside work, but we continued to talk to each other at work everyday and we kept texting each other all the time.
In the next 1 year, we actually got closer to each other and fell more emotionally connected to each other than when we’re actually together. We always had a physical connection but now we grew an emotional bond as well and we truly loved each other in every way. We referred to each other as soul mates. Funny thing was, even her dad called me her soulmate and that just sealed it for me. We both said we loved each other but we weren’t officially dating. I was okay with the situation because I got to keep my soulmate/best friend/love.
Fast forward 6 months and the problems started. A new guy joined the company. He was ajor asshole, he was very manipulate and shady (I realize this sounds bitter, but I wasn’t the only one who thought that, other unbiased people thought that as well!). He knew that she and I were very close. He would go into her office behind my back (I’ve caught him stalking her and looking around to see where I was before he went to her) and talk to her everyday. He would flirt with her constantly. Initially she told me these things and I let it all go because she kept me I’m the loop about him. But, then she started flirting back with him and that’s when I started getting worried and started acting more clingy. She told me not to worry about that guy and that they weren’t doing anything wrong. All the while she increased the flirting with him and they exchanged numbers. She even blocked me on social media and added him. She started to lie to me and kept pulling away from me. I got very upset with this but everytime I brought things up she would blame me for being paranoid. Our relationship started getting strained. Soon she stopped responding to me completely. She ghosted me and started hanging out with him.
I went into depression and she told me to leave the job because I was being toxic. So I left the job and had to even leave the country. After I left, she texted me and apologized and said she loved me and she wanted us to always keep talking to each other everyday and she made me promise that wee would never leave each other’s lives. She said she realized that we were truly each other’s soulmates. I agreed with her and promised that I wouldn’t cut her out because I truly loved her.
One week later, she said that we need to move on and then she ghosted me again.
I had no say in any of the things that happened. The problem is, it’s been 6 months since I left and I’m still in love with her. I know she’s done some bad things but so have I, no one is perfect so I don’t blane her for things. A couple of months back she texted me telling me that I’m the strongest person she’s ever met and that I have taught her a lot and that she owes a lot to me “more than anyone else in her entire life”. She’s unblocked me on social media now but I haven’t added her on anything and neither has she. I got curious and stalked her a little bit and found out that she’s seeing someone else now.
After everything that has happened, I still care about her, I do love her and want her back in my life. I think if we get back to each other things will be different this time because I’ve changed. I’ve learned not to be clingy and have become more confident in myself.
But she seems to have moved on, do you think there is a chance for me to get her back? And if I do have a chance, how do I go about it? I don’t think the 30 day no-contact applies to me at this point.
Sorry I know this was a super long post, but I thought some context was required. I appreciate any advice.
Thanks!!