broken hearted by my own demise

Hi all im new to this but desperately need some help
Basically i broke up with my partner 2 yrs ago after a 2 yr relationship …in the whole 2 years he constantly said he wanted me back he even waited for an 8 month relationship i had and has been living here on and off any way on the 22nd of july i found out that has started seeing someone else (hes now been seeing her for 5 weeks)and for some reason this seems different to all the others i have known about …somehow this hit me like a ton of bricks as i realized that i actually do still love him and really want him back.
i told him how i feel and he said i should of told him sooner as he is now in a complicated situation being that he’s seeing he’s friends sister and that he cant just break her heart like that he has asked me to wait as he says he really wants me but i pushed him into her arms for turning him down so many times and for so long … its really hard as i feel like ive lost my bestfriend and the man i want to marry i cant talk to him anymore and hardly see him as hes always with her …anyway ive been trying to implement the ncr but not to much avail he has some things here which ive asked him to take but he seems reluctant to do so

he called me on the 4th of aug said he was going to come down and pay a bill which he owed i said ok asked if he’d like me to cook for him which he said yes and i cooked it messaged him to tell him that the food was almost done and he called back to say he would be here in 45 mins but then i heard nothing back from him so i called him at 1 in the morn and he didnt answer (i know hes normally up at these times) tried to call him back half an hour later and he had switched of he’s phone so i sent him a message which i guess he didnt read till today telling him that i get the message loud and clear and that he needs to get hes things as i cant hold on to something that doesnt belong to me i also told him that i now know he never loved me cause if he did he would be home already told him to have a happy life and that i was gone (i know this was wrong of me and i totally regret it but my emotions are all over the place) any way since that message i vowed to keep no contact and that has been all of 1 day he messaged me this morning saying"hey you are hard work trust me ive had enough of feeling bad as it is already and now all i want to do is cry" he then sent me another saying “you blocked me then have you” since then i have had 6 calls that i have not answered from him 7 really as he tried to call my daughters phone …but i dont know what to do now i want to keep up the the ncr but i feel like im pushing him away as he might now think well shes gone and i have a new relationship now …please what do i do i really dont want to lose him but i cant wait around for him to create more of a bond with this new girl :frowning:

sorry it was so long

hey,
I don’t think if NC will work for you right now.answer his calls and try to have a good communication with him.YOU SHOULD ONLY DO THAT IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE NEEDY,PUSHY,ANGRY… .

You should control yourself and be happy ,positive and attractive.try to communicate with him and you don’t have to be judging,evaluating,threatening him.you should be calm and say:
1.what you see
2.what it makes you feel
3.what you need
4.your request
like : when i see you shout,i feel scared.i need to feel safe so please calm down.
or : i know when you see me not talking to you like before,you feel annoyed,you need us to be communicating better than this and do you want me to do something about it?

These are only examples and you should change the words due to your situation but this is a perfect structure and it really works.

You should let him feel safe around you.so you can create good moments and remind him of the good times you had in your relationship for at least a little while.then NC will work again.

Don’t show obsession over the new girl,do not say anything bad about her and don’t ask him to leave her.try to act like friends and be sure you can reattract him again and hopefully win him back.